The last time I went to get my hair cut, I bumped into a childhood friend who I haven't seen in a while. She moved farther to the East Bay a couple of years ago, and she has two kids to deal with, so it's understandable. Still, she was there, so we caught up a little bit.
Her kids are about 10 years old now, so they're starting to show distinct preferences in the manner that they dress themselves. For the younger girl, this isn't a problem. The mom has decent taste, so the little girl trusts her, and they can bond over it. For the older boy, though, it's been a struggle. In fact, she just flat out told me, "I don't know how to dress boys."
That made me laugh a little bit, because I've always thought guys' clothing was far simpler. I remember going years with a very simple formula, jeans + t-shirt = outfit. And while I have added a bit to my repertoire since those days, it's not like I've added entire categories to my wardrobe (there is no "accessories" section in my closet).
Mid-laugh, though, I stopped myself. I wish I could claim it was due to some new-found maturity or strength of character, but no. What *did* get me to stop was a memory of a hair band and a little girl. This little girl was one of the kids my mom takes care of, and she had managed to mess up her hair by generally being a kid. I was the nearest adult, so I was tasked with putting it back on.
My first thought was, "hm, a brush might be helpful for just brushing all of this hair back into place." My plan was to get the hair into place, and then put the hair band on top of the now neat hair. We were at the table about to have lunch, though, so such tools were not available to me. And, on second thought, there's no way a girl needs a brush every time she wants to adjust her hair band. That's just not practical, so there must be another way.
On to plan B - maybe I can just roughly brush her hair back with my hand, then continue on with the original plan. It's not like she had intricate patterns to her hair or anything, I just needed to get it all going in one direction. Should be possible to do with a hand, right? Wrong. That'll leave it just as messed up, and given enough hair, the different strands will pretty much do whatever the heck they feel like.
If you're keeping score, that's two attempts, roughly two minutes, and nothing but failure. I think the little girl was starting to question my method, too. She didn't say anything, but there was the beginning of a quizzical, "seriously, what the heck?" look on her face.
At this point, my sister, who was the second-closest adult, made a sound like an exasperated sigh. She also reached over, put the hair band roughly in front of the girl's eyes (think Cyclops or Geordi LaForge), then deftly rotated it upwards. The hair band itself completed the brushing motion, thus accomplishing the "hair all in one direction" goal I had set out for myself. To recap my sister's track record: 1 attempt, 5 seconds, and a smug look of victory.
Yeah, my mom laughed at me, too. In all honesty, this plan had never occurred to me for two reasons: 1. the initial motion seems like you'd hurt the recipient if you're not careful, and 2. I'm not a girl. All of which brings me back to my friend and her kids - I feel her pain. It's a hell of a lot harder than it looks sometimes (my mom tells me it's obvious which parent dressed their kid in the morning, for that precise reason).
Oh, and if I have kids, I'm praying for a wife who is patient with my blunders, or else nothing but sons.
Her kids are about 10 years old now, so they're starting to show distinct preferences in the manner that they dress themselves. For the younger girl, this isn't a problem. The mom has decent taste, so the little girl trusts her, and they can bond over it. For the older boy, though, it's been a struggle. In fact, she just flat out told me, "I don't know how to dress boys."
That made me laugh a little bit, because I've always thought guys' clothing was far simpler. I remember going years with a very simple formula, jeans + t-shirt = outfit. And while I have added a bit to my repertoire since those days, it's not like I've added entire categories to my wardrobe (there is no "accessories" section in my closet).
Mid-laugh, though, I stopped myself. I wish I could claim it was due to some new-found maturity or strength of character, but no. What *did* get me to stop was a memory of a hair band and a little girl. This little girl was one of the kids my mom takes care of, and she had managed to mess up her hair by generally being a kid. I was the nearest adult, so I was tasked with putting it back on.
My first thought was, "hm, a brush might be helpful for just brushing all of this hair back into place." My plan was to get the hair into place, and then put the hair band on top of the now neat hair. We were at the table about to have lunch, though, so such tools were not available to me. And, on second thought, there's no way a girl needs a brush every time she wants to adjust her hair band. That's just not practical, so there must be another way.
On to plan B - maybe I can just roughly brush her hair back with my hand, then continue on with the original plan. It's not like she had intricate patterns to her hair or anything, I just needed to get it all going in one direction. Should be possible to do with a hand, right? Wrong. That'll leave it just as messed up, and given enough hair, the different strands will pretty much do whatever the heck they feel like.
If you're keeping score, that's two attempts, roughly two minutes, and nothing but failure. I think the little girl was starting to question my method, too. She didn't say anything, but there was the beginning of a quizzical, "seriously, what the heck?" look on her face.
At this point, my sister, who was the second-closest adult, made a sound like an exasperated sigh. She also reached over, put the hair band roughly in front of the girl's eyes (think Cyclops or Geordi LaForge), then deftly rotated it upwards. The hair band itself completed the brushing motion, thus accomplishing the "hair all in one direction" goal I had set out for myself. To recap my sister's track record: 1 attempt, 5 seconds, and a smug look of victory.
Yeah, my mom laughed at me, too. In all honesty, this plan had never occurred to me for two reasons: 1. the initial motion seems like you'd hurt the recipient if you're not careful, and 2. I'm not a girl. All of which brings me back to my friend and her kids - I feel her pain. It's a hell of a lot harder than it looks sometimes (my mom tells me it's obvious which parent dressed their kid in the morning, for that precise reason).
Oh, and if I have kids, I'm praying for a wife who is patient with my blunders, or else nothing but sons.
Clarification from a female:
ReplyDeleteThe "hair band" Sam is referring to is actually a head band, as opposed to what either sex would colloquially call a "pony tail holder."
See, that's what I thought. But for the sake of accuracy, I did a quick Google search to be sure. "Hair band" has a picture of the item I had in mind, and "headband" has pictures of what tennis & basketball players wear to soak up sweat.
ReplyDeleteAnd I've always heard "pony tail holder" referred to as a "scrunchie".