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Little Kids Are Awesome 3

I'm around little kids a lot, so I get to talk and play with them a lot.  And little kids act on pure emotions, so they often say and do things without regard to what other people think.  Most of the time, it's just a conversation.  Every now and again, though, I am privy to absolute hilarity.  Don't believe me?  Check out the first and second installments in this series.

My usual caveat applies here; by no means am I making fun of the toddlers (that'd be more than a tad mean).  I do think that some of the things they say are amusing, though.  And in the spirit of the blog, I do some extra typing.

So, without further ado:

  • Dad: "Hey, don't touch tia's flowers.  She works hard on getting them to grow"
    Kid: "I'm not touching them.  I'm picking them up"

    The verbal sleight of hand caused more than one (muffled) chuckle in the room.
  • (This little girl is old enough to go to school, so she usually doesn't join us.  Today, though, she is on vacation)
    Kid's Mom: "Hey sweetie.  Did you have a good day?"
    Kid: "Yup"
    Kid's Mom: "What was your favorite part?"
    Kid: "Lunch"

    Either my mom is a ridiculously good cook, or I need to work on how to make my reading more entertaining.
  • Mom: "You guys get a surprise"
    (hands out fruit)
    Girl: "No tia, I want a chocolate surprise"

    She didn't get her chocolate, but I was amused at the creativity.
  • Mom: "Snack time. [Girl], how old are you?"
    Girl: "I'm four years old"
    Mom: (counting out cookies) "One, two, three, four ... here you go.  , how about you, how old are you?"
    Boy: "FIVE!"
    Mom: "What? You're not five, but you are almost three years old."
    Boy: "No, five. I get five cookies!"

    You'd be amazed at the skills little kids suddenly display when they find it in their best interests to do so.  We didn't even know he could count to five, much less understand concepts like "bigger" or "smaller" up until this point.

    (For the curious,  his three cookies were slightly bigger, so it's not like he got cheated out of his snack)
  • (speaking to one of the children's mom)
    Mom: "Good morning"
    Kid's Mom: "Good morning, and happy birthday.  We told him it was your birthday yesterday"
    Kid: *singing* "Happy birthday tomorrow, happy birthday tomorrow"
    Kid: "Where's the cake?"

    This was a double whammy.  He didn't fully understand how time worked yet, but he was told that my mom's birthday was "tomorrow," so that's what he went with.  The cake part was awesome; you can tell what he associates with the word "birthday."
  • Mom: "It's [my brother's] birthday"
    Kid: *singing* "Happy birthday today, happy birthday today, happy birthday [brother]"
    Kid: "I want cheesecake"

    Same kid.  He figured out that whole time thing.
  I've said it before, and I'll say it again.  Little kids are ridiculously fun to be around sometimes.  Sure, you have to watch over them and teach them various things, but I'll gladly trade the time in exchange for the amusement they bring to the table.
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