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Little Kids Are Awesome 4

It's time for another installation of amusing things that little kids say.  As the title implies, there have been three previous installments (one, two, and three), and they're pretty darn close to verbatim transcripts of conversations I have had myself or witnessed.

As always, I'm not making fun of or insulting little kids.  One, that'd be mean.  Two, there's no sport in that.  Three, and quite possibly most importantly, some of them show signs of being really bright, and I don't want any of them to have reason to hold a grudge should he or she take over the world.  Really, some of the things they say are just funny because they have that incredibly unique perspective of the world that only little kids have.

So with my rambling out of the way, here are several more reasons why little kids are awesome:

  • Me: "Did you have a good Christmas?"
    Kid: "Yes"
    Me: "How come?"
    Kid: "I got to open LOTS of presents!"

    That wouldn't have been my answer, but I can't fault a little kid for liking presents.
  • Me: "What did you make with your Play Doh?"
    Kid: "Worms and poopies"

    I'll give him credit, he's self aware enough to know that he wasn't creating any masterpieces.  Of course, he then saw someone make a chicken, so he proceeded to make a whole mess of other stuff.  None of it was shaped like a worm.
  • Me: "What's your full name?  Do you know?"
    Kid: "Yes.  It's [Kid's Name] Doe Smith!"
    Me: "Yup, good work."
    Kid #2: "My name is [Kid #2's Name] Doe Smith!"
    (Note: the two kids are not related)

    The second kid was just repeating what she heard, she had no idea what "full name" meant.  Still, it made me laugh when she called herself that.  I then tried to teach her what her full name was, but it would take a few months for it to sink in.
  • Me: "Hey, a puzzle.  Do you know where that piece goes?"
    Kid: "Yeah, somewhere in there" (points to rest of the puzzle)

    I had to keep myself from laughing out loud.  Of course, we then had a nice discussion about edge pieces and why they are useful, so it wasn't a total loss.
  • Me: "I heard you're going to kindergarten now.  What do you miss the most about preschool?"
    Kid: "Nap time"

    Sometimes, I really wonder if the California educational system is accomplishing much.  I suppose I shouldn't talk too much, though; I still miss recess.
  • (A random neighbor, about 10 years old, has just crashed his bike into a telephone pole)
    Me: "Hey, are you okay?"
    Kid: "Um, sort of" (walks away with his bike)

    This is another one that falls into the category of "factually true, but not helpful."  It was funny in this case because this kid was definitely old enough to know better.  Seeing that he had walked away under his own power, though, I figured he was fine.
  • Kid: "Can I [do something he shouldn't be doing]?"
    Me: "Why?"
    Kid: "Because I want to"
    Me: "Why do you want to?"
    Kid: "Because I need to"
    Me: "You need to?  How come?"
    Kid: "Because I want to"
    Me: "Why do you want to?  Because you need to?"
    Kid: "Yes"

    This actually went on for another round before I both fed him an answer ("you want to because you like doing that") and then I gave him the responsible-adult-answer ("no, you shouldn't be doing that now").  Teaching little kids to reason things out can be all sorts of interesting, though.
  • Kid: "Can I [do something he shouldn't be doing]?"
    Me: "No, you shouldn't be doing that now"
    Kid: "Why not?"

    Same kid.  He apparently got the hang of the whole "ask the other person why" thing.
  Like I always say, talking to little kids is ridiculously rewarding.  You can teach them the things you've managed to learn about yourself, and in the process they make you laugh a whole lot.  I don't think it's ever going to get old.
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