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Girl Stores

Over the years, I have occasionally found myself in stores mainly targeted for women at times. Whether it be helping a friend shop for a last-minute wedding dress, shopping for a purse for my mom, or even just accompanying a female friend to the mall, I've stepped foot in stores for women's apparel.

As a guy, you stand out in those stores. You're clearly not in the target demographic, so your mere presence can raise an eyebrow or two. If you're standing near a female companion, though, that usually explains the situation to anyone who bothers to look closely. Incidentally, this is also part of the reason why I try to be helpful when in said stores. If I'm by that person's side, I'm going to get fewer weird looks from the other patrons. Of course, being at that person's side also means that I will be conscripted to be useful; you take the good with the bad, you know?

But what happens when there is no female companion to be had? It doesn't happen frequently, but it happens more often than you'd think. Let's just say that the results can be interesting.

The first time I found myself in this predicament was when I lost my earring midway through a work out. I didn't even realize it, but I later discovered that I did not have it in my ear (side note: I suddenly understood a little of the annoyance I'd seen from my female friends who had lost earrings). Well, that sucked, so I resolved to do something about it when I had a chance. This was before I had the bright idea to simply buy this item online, so I wandered into something like a Claire's during a trip to the mall.

Much like your average guy, I expected to walk in and walk out with my purchased item. Au contraire. I had not accounted for the fact that there were other customers, and that the customers outnumbered the sales people. So, the sales people were busy helping other customers when I walked in. So, I had to occupy myself while keeping an eye out for a sales person, all without looking suspicious in the process. Let's just say that I took a very good look at the earrings they had, so I knew exactly what I wanted by the time the sales person came over. I have no idea if the other customers gave me weird looks, but I suspect they did.

The next time after that, my brother needed glass beads for his wedding banquet. We figured that they would have some in a craft store, so we drove down to a Jo-Ann Fabrics. We didn't know our way around, so we had to pretty much walk through the entire store to find what we needed. There weren't many people in there, but the few people that did see the two brown guys discussing beads and table cloths must have had an interesting story to tell.

I've also had to go to a Sephora to cash in a gift certificate thing. Now, I know that the store sells men's products; I was there for one of said products, after all. However, if the people walking around the store were any indication, the store's bread and butter is selling women's products. I actually didn't even know where the store was, so it took me walking in circles for a few minutes to even get to the front door. When I did finally enter the store, I saw a sales person near the front, so I asked him where I needed to go to redeem the gift. He pointed to a section in the wall, and let me do my thing.

Two minutes later, I walked up to the line to pay/redeem. There were a few women in front of me, so I had to wait. Normally when I'm waiting in a line, I'll peruse the items on sale near by or talk to whomever I'm with. In this case, none of the nearby items were of any interest to me (I don't wear any make up), and I was on my own. After darn near memorizing their return policy, I settled on staring off into space. I think I got a funny look or two from the cashiers, but there wasn't much I could do about that.

When I finally got to the front so I could purchase my item, everything went smoothly. Well, almost everything went smoothly. After the cashier wrapped up the sale, she asked if I wanted a bag. I instinctively responded with a, "sure, why not?" A split second later, I had in mind a pink, frilly bag with lace, and I realized that I may not want the bag, after all. Yes, I knew that mental image was an exaggeration. But I still figured I'd make sure that she wasn't going to give me something that I was going to immediately discard. Ergo, the following conversation:

Me: "Wait, um ... what color is the bag?"
Cashier: (good hearty laugh at my expense)
Cashier: (composing herself) "Relax, sir, it's black. No pink or anything for you."
Me: "Oh, okay. Just figured I'd check"
Cashier: "Heh, here you go. Have a good day, sir. *chuckle* "

You want to know the worst part of it all? I had to run a few other errands that day anyway, so I'd brought my backpack to carry whatever items I picked up during the course of my trip. It didn't matter one iota what color the bag was, since I immediately proceeded to stuff it into my backpack. I think the cashier thought I was embarrassed, though, so she had another chuckle at my expense. I had that one coming, so I didn't begrudge her her amusement.

So, after all of that, I present my findings to you:

  • Screwing/clasping/tightening your earring isn't as trivial a task as it sounds
  • The convenience of shopping online cannot be overstated
  • Sephora sells their merchandise in black bags
  • Women can be surprisingly territorial
  • Putting me in an unfamiliar environment can be entertaining to onlookers

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