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Little Kids Are Awesome 6

Since the last time I noted that little kids say some really awesome things, I've seen little kids interact with the world in quite a variety of situations. The kids always have really obvious motivations, and watching them try to impose those desires on to the real world makes for quite a few laughs. Needless to say, the results have been highly amusing.

Given all of that, I present to you the latest installment of conversations I've been a party to:

  • Sister: (to an adult in line) "I've got this 25% off coupon that I won't be able to use, and it expires today. Would you like it?"
    Adult's Kid: "NOW can we get candy?"
    Adult's Kid: "You get 25% off of everything, not just the candy."
    Adult's Kid: "Look, there's some candy right there"
    Adult: "Ugh ... fine"

    Never underestimate the powers of persuasion that kids will employ in the pursuit of candy. I'm fairly certain that similar math on a test question had decent odds of stumping her.
  • Mom: "Sam finished his food first, he's the winner."
    Kid: "No, he has a drop of milk left! Sam's a loser!"

    I sure wish he would've phrased that differently. Even better, I did actually finish my meal faster than he did, even with the extra drop of milk. He called me a loser for no good reason.
  • Kid: "Look, the lizard fits in my pocket. I'm taking him home!"

    Yeah, we had to explain to him why sticking a lizard in his pocket was a poor idea. I felt worse for my mom, who was the nearest available adult. She's not a big fan of reptiles, and she had to fish the lizard out of his pocket, just so she could release said lizard in to the wild.
  • Me: "I have a doctor's appointment, I have to go. I'll see you guys later."
    Kid: "Can I come with you?"
    Me: "No, not this time."
    Kid: "Why not?"
    Me: "This is one that I have to handle on my own."
    Kid: "When I'm older, can I come with you?"

    It never ceases to amaze me just how badly little kids want to play with the big kids. It's like a hunger that can never be sated.
  • Kid: "I want to go to a hotel again. It was fun!"
    Kid's Mom: "Haha, we only went because of [my sister's] wedding."
    Kid: "When's she going to get married again?"
    Kid's Mom: "That's not how it works. Someone else has to get married."
    Kid: "When's Sam's wedding?"
    Kid's Mom: *chuckles* "I don't know, you'll have to ask him."
    Kid: "Okay, I'll have a talk with him."

    I've got a two year old kid who is very, very interested in my love life. Awesome.
  • Kid: "I want to wear my flower girl dress again. When is [my sister] getting married again?"
    Kid's Mom: "Oh, you don't marry the same person multiple times."
    Kid: "How about you? Did you get married already?"
    Kid's Mom: "Yes, I did."
    Kid: "What about Tia? Did she get married already?"
    Kid's Mom: "Yup, she already had a wedding, too."
    Kid: "Oh, I know! What about Sam?"

    Different kid, different gender, same basic premise. She had no conception of what marriage actually meant, but she just wanted to go to a wedding. Still, that now makes two little kids who are pressuring me to get hitched.

In case you're taking notes, I've had little kids call me a loser, take an interest in my health, and take a very strong interest in my love life. I'm telling you, having these kids around is flat out awesome.
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