Skip to main content

I Can't Win

Like I've said before, I tend to eat a lot. Many of the things I like happen to be carb-heavy, and I've often described my favorite meals as "hearty." This is nothing new, and the fact that I've written about it before is proof enough that this is a long-standing habit of mine. However, there are a few new twists to this story.

Let's start with an unintended Sam meal. There is a set of food trucks that stop by our offices every now and then,  and a coworker and I decided to grab lunch from one of them. Now, there are some really well known food trucks (e.g., Chairman Bao), but the one we decided to patronize wasn't one like that. Honestly, I don't remember the name. However, I do remember what we both ordered. It was a giant helping of nachos. I actually saw some lady walk by after she had ordered that, and it immediately appealed to me. So, I got the same thing.

To give you some idea of how big these nachos were, I carried it with two hands at some point. It was a mound of food, and anyone walking by could see what I had ordered. In other words, it was a Sam meal.

We took our food back to the office, and several people noticed the healthy portion sizes. My coworker was nice enough to offer some of the onlookers a bite, and I did the same thing. The reaction was priceless, "no! I can't eat that! How many calories are in that thing?!"

After I finished getting all of the laughing out of my system, I sat down to eat. It took me something like 30 minutes to finish the whole thing, which was something of a minor miracle given how quickly I eat. I even texted the friend who coined the term "Sam meal" about the whole thing, because I was so amused by it all. She, in turn, laughed like crazy and said that she could picture me downing the whole thing "to the disgust of coworkers."

Fast forward a week, and I was walking back from the company cafeteria with a salad in hand. Mind you, it's not uncommon for me to eat a salad. I've been known to have an adventure or two while eating them. However, if you were to contrast that salad with the nachos from the week before, you might find it amusing to see the same person eating both. One of my coworkers did just that. He saw the salad, and he exclaimed, "wait wait, where's the rest of it? I saw those nachos last week, those things were LOADED. You're just going to eat a salad?"

After getting all of the laughing out of my system, I sat down to eat. Remembering the text exchange from the week before, I informed my friend of the latest development. This time, I pointed out that I was getting crap for not eating enough. She, in turn, laughed like crazy and said that this was what happened when I set expectations about my appetite.

That brings me back to the title: I just can't win. If I eat a lot, I get crap. If I eat less than that, I get crap. I give up. I'm just going to keep eating as many Sam meals as I can.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Nicknames Again

In a post from a while back , I mentioned that people around me end up with nicknames fairly frequently. It's not always my doing, but I am more than happy to play along. Of course, the best part isn't the actual nickname, it's always the back story that leads to the nickname. And since it's been a while since that previous post, I've picked up a few more stories about nicknames that are worth a chuckle. So, without further ado, I present to you: "ADT" You know how people pay for security systems for their houses? One of the most well-known companies is called ADT . My brother likes to say that he has no need for said security systems because one of his neighbors is constantly on the lookout for what's going on in the neighborhood. She's like a one-person neighborhood watch, complete with a side of the neighborhood gossip. He has actually come home and had her tell him about the comings and goings of his wife. My brother's smart aleck str...

All Good Things ...

August 8, 2009. Over twelve years ago, I started blogging with this simple post . I didn't really have a great reason for starting the blog, other than I wanted to try it out. I wanted to try writing and putting it where others could read it. I don't know, it just seemed like a new adventure to try. Along the way, there have been all sorts of posts and all sorts of life events, but through it all, I kept writing. It just became a part of what I do at some point. It wasn't a matter of whether I was going to write a blog post, it was a matter of when. The Mild Wife has described it as a "writing practice," and it was one of the reasons why I kept writing. Honestly, it's good practice, and it gives me an opportunity to hone my craft. I'm no professional author, but we all have to write stuff in our everyday lives. Why not give yourself reps to get better at it? However, I think it's time for that practice to change. My weekly anecdotes sure kept me amused...

Timer

There are a bunch of everyday tasks around the Mild Home that require waiting some amount of time. Say I put want to put something in the oven, I need to make sure that I take it out after a set amount of time. I mean, bad things happen if you leave food in the oven for a long time. If you're lucky, it's just inedible; if you're unlucky, then the smoke alarm is involved. Quite a few of them involve food (steep the tea for X minutes, uncover the pot after Y minutes, etc.), so that should come as no surprise. However, I recently had to use baking soda and vinegar to help unclog a sink. As I discovered, you don't just dump those things down the sink. You wait 5-10 minutes after mixing those ingredients in the sink, to let them do their thing. Otherwise, it just fizzes for a bit, and nothing really happens. In either case, I needed to wait for a set amount of time. Now, when it comes to setting a timer, I have a few options. There are timers on the stove and on my cell phon...