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I'm In Trouble

At this point, it should come as no surprise when I post a story about kids. Between the daycare stories and my friends with kids, I have plenty of stories to go around. Throw in the occasional story about younger relatives, and you can understand why a good chunk of my blog is dedicated to stories about people who are a small fraction of my age.

Now, I'm no parent, but I've seen enough younger folks to have a rough idea of how things go down. Still, even with that in mind, there are times when one of them manages to surprise me. This was one of those times.

Let's start by introducing the protagonist of this story (hint: it's not me). This kid happens to be one of the Mild Girlfriend's nephews, who I only recently met. Like most kids his age, he likes to play with toys and can be easily amused. On the day I met him, we played with trains, plush doggies, and his pop up fort (his looked different, but you get the basic idea). I was even invited into his fort, which led to all manner of contorting my body to try to fit through the entrance. Shortly thereafter, that was followed by two adults barely controlling bouts of giggling while they took pictures.

Anyhow, the point of all of that was that we're cool, him and me. We've played together, and we've played in a fort together. This is not a kid who hates me or runs away at the sight of my face. We're homies, you know?

So, when I last saw him, he very happily ran up to me and asked to play together. Well, okay. He actually had new toys on hand, too, so we had even more options to play with. As it was on that day, though, he found some of his older toys slightly more amusing. Specifically, he had a soft bouncy ball that he was kind of moving around. He didn't really favor any one move to maneuver said ball; he just pushed, kicked, lobbed, and nudged the ball around. Well, I spotted a plastic bowling pin, so in a flash of brilliance, I improvised an impromptu game of golf/hit the ball with a bowling pin. He found this game much more amusing, and a good time was had by all.

At some point, though, someone cautioned that whacking a ball around indoors might not be the greatest idea. Well, crap. I started this, so I had to put an end to it. I know! What if I make a game of hiding the bowling pin? Then he'll be too amused by the game to realize that he's effectively being stopped from playing his game.

Okay, so to put the plan into action. I grabbed the bowling pin when he was retrieving the ball, and very obviously hid it behind my back. He spotted this deceit, and went looking for the bowling pin (read: he looked behind me). However, I had two working arms, and the benefit of a longer reach than he had. So, as he was circling to my right to look for the bowling pin, I used my left arm to move his goal farther to my left. Now, he also noticed this shift in movement, so he very quickly walked back around the other side to retrieve the pin. Aha. Now the game was afoot.

Well, sort of. He laughed and played for a little bit, but then he decided enough was enough. He went to go find one of the nearest adults, to complain that I had his bowling pin. At first, the adults were very confused by this, since they had not seen the events unfold and they didn't have the proper context. Also, "bowling pin" is not an easy phrase to say. Still, his rough point got across, and they told him to ask for it. I also held both hands out with my palms open, to show that I didn't actually have his bowling pin.

So, he wandered back over to retrieve his bowling pin. At that point, though, the other half of the whacking game, the ball, was unguarded. So, I opportunistically grabbed that. The game was afoot, again (as a brief aside, there are times when being a smart ass can be beneficial; this was one of them). As before, we played Keep Away for a bit. There were some laughs, and lots of shuffling behind my back. Also like before, eventually he tired of the game and decided to settle things once and for all.

However, "ball" is much simpler to say than "bowling pin," so he knew how to get his point across this time. Essentially, he said, "Sam took my ball." Yup, little man told on me. There was no doubt about it this time. The adults were much more in tune with current events this time around, so they laughed quite a bit at this development. Nevertheless, they calmed him down and got him to come back over my way. I offered up the ball as a peace offering, and all was forgiven. Still, the whole ordeal led to much laughter from many people.

As it is, though, I'm going to have to watch myself around him. At this rate, I might end up with a time out.

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