It's usually pretty funny talking to married couples. They hit you with all sorts of amusing advice and interesting stories. My sister in law, who originated the very concept of Wife Watch for me, loves to bemoan her married statues. I think I've heard, "oy, why did I get married?" from her a bunch of times after some (amusing) exchange with my brother. Like I said, it's pretty fun to watch.
And even though this seems to hold across the board, for some reason it gets even more magnified when sugar is involved. Yes, sugar. The kind that goes into candy and drinks. One of the funnier episodes I witnessed happened when I had to stop in at a grocery store for cough medicine right around Easter Sunday. As I was getting in line to pay, I bumped into two (married) guys who were buying candy for the next day. Just to be clear, these guys were in two separate relationships, so this story is representative of two marriages, not one. One guy was in line with his bag ready, but the other guy was strolling through the candy aisles like, well, a kid in a candy store. That led to the following exchange:
Guy #1: "Don't worry, I got you. There's a deal, two bags for [some price]" (I don't remember the price)
Guy #2: "Nah, I gotta make sure I get all the candy I like."
Guy #1: "Haha, why's that?"
Guy #2: "This is my time of year. It's the only time I'm allowed to buy candy, so this is my time. I need one of these, and one of these, and one of these ..."
The cashier, the friend, and I all started cracking up immediately. What's more, the first guy didn't balk at, disagree with, or question his buddy. He was in silent agreement with this whole exchange. So that was at least two married guys with funny sugar stories.
The final straw that made me realize how funny this was involved a trip to San Diego. The Mild Girlfriend and I were visiting some family of hers, and we stayed with one of her married relatives. I actually wasn't quite sure what to expect, since I'd never met these folks before. The Mild Girlfriend assured me that they were awesome, and that I'd get along well with them. She actually thought that I'd get along especially well with the husband.
In hindsight ... she was right. We all got along well, and it was all sorts of fun. It felt pretty comfortable, and we were all able to chop it up by the end of the trip. In fact, near the end of the trip, the ladies hopped out of the car to get some beverages, and he and I stayed in the car to watch the kids. At one point, the Mild Girlfriend called to check what flavor I wanted, and I remarked that I didn't want something too sweet. Luckily for me, this place offered a version called "half sweet." As you can imagine, it's not as sweet as the full-on, no-holding-back version.
Immediately thereafter, he remarked to me, "wait, I bet you [my wife] is going to get me half sweet. I want full sweet. I hope she gets me full sweet." We had to wait a few minutes before they got back to the car, but lo and behold, half sweet beverage for the both of us. As you can imagine, he was less thrilled about his drink. In fact, he later made a point to state, for the record, that should the choice ever come up again, he always wanted the full sweet version. He didn't really drink sugary beverages often, so when he had the opportunity, he wanted his fill. Cue more laughter.
So, I've decided that if a married person is anywhere near dessert, I'm going to pay attention. It's very likely going to lead to some hilarity. Also, I may start carrying candy bars to give to people in these situations. I figure it couldn't hurt.
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