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New York 2016: Cats

I've always had some interesting luck with cats. I don't know what it is, or why cats react to me the way they do. Still, the facts are the facts. They like to mess with me. If you don't believe me, allow me to convince you.

First of all, there were the incidents with my sister's kitten a few years ago. In case you don't feel like clicking, my sister's kitten first pounced on me in my sleep. It's not like I was playing or dangling something in front of her, since I was asleep. No, she just decided that I was a good target when I was asleep. Then, she got used to me and curled up in my lap to sleep in the middle of the day. I felt bad, so I didn't really move too much. Long story short, a little baby kitten trapped me on a couch for an afternoon.

Secondly, the Mild Fiancée's (yes, there is now a mild fiancée, but that's a story for another day) family has a cat. From what I understand, that cat has always been a bit odd. When the family adopted that cat, the cat was in isolation. There was a sign that said, "this cat is in isolation because she bites." Think about that. This cat was in the equivalent of solitary confinement. You don't get that kind of treatment unless you're a very special cat. Yet they showed way more compassion than I think I am capable of, and they adopted this particular cat.

For the most part, it has been fine. The cat has been a boon to the family (she has been known to watch over toddlers), and has long since stopped biting people. She's largely considered part of the family. However, she seems to be the jealous type. When I started to visit with the Mild Girlfriend, she immediately started hanging around me. We all thought it was cute at first, but then we realize that she was intentionally rubbing herself all over everything in my immediate vicinity. She was marking her territory.

What's more, she once peed right outside the door of a room where I was. If there was any doubt about whether she was marking her territory before, that settled it. Even funnier, she once picked up a piece of her food, carried it a few feet away, and then spat it behind me. I have no idea why she thought this was a good idea, but it was almost like she was marking her territory with her food. The Mild Fiancée told me that she had never done that before. It was just my luck; I got the special treatment.

With all of that as a back drop, the Mild Fiancée and I visited her cousins in New York fairly recently. Want to guess what they keep as pets? Yup, cats. Two of them. These two are also interesting cats, and one of them is actually known to be mean. For example, she likes to knock things over at 5AM to get attention. And it's not like they could just lock her in a room so she'd stop doing that. She'd just tear up the interior of whatever room she was in.

The Mild Fiancée warned me about this cat, and I'd heard some of the stories. Still, I figured I'd reserve judgment until I actually met her. Within the first hour or so, I had my answer. I was walking across the room, and she was roughly on the path that I was following. I wasn't exactly going to barge through her or anything, but I was heading in her general direction. She bared her teeth and hissed at me. I've never seen a cat do that before. Luckily for me, I got a pretty good look when she did it a second time a few minutes later (I had to walk back across the same room).

Seriously, what's the deal? It's not like I've been going out of my way to harass cats throughout my life. Yet I've got three different examples from three different cats. The owners are different and the ages are different. Heck, the freaking states are different. Yet, they've all exhibited very interesting behavior around me. Clearly, the problem is with the entire species (and not something I'm doing).

If I ever feel the need for a pet, I'm getting a baby iguana.

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