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White Elephant

A little while ago, some of my cousins decided to do a White Elephant gift exchange. Unfortunately for us, we had a conflict on that date, so we opted out. We wouldn't have been able to get our gifts into the pile, and there would have been a mismatched number of gifts to people, so it didn't make much sense to us. It was a bit of a bummer, but we figured there would be other ways to hang out with the family.

Well, fate has a funny way of mocking the best laid plans of mice and men. As it turns out, our other plans changed at the last minute, so we did end up showing up on the day of the gift exchange. We didn't find out until fairly late, so we figured we'd just watch and cheer people on. Even that plan, however, was not to be: a couple of my other cousins couldn't make it out, so the numbers didn't match up anyway. They were two people short, and there were two of us sitting on the sidelines. It worked out.

Now, they had set a $5 limit on their gifts, so people were playing with very strict guidelines. That's enough money to find something interesting, but it's also not going to be the most extravagant gift you've ever gotten. I will say, though, some people were very good about finding something interesting for that amount of money. Better yet, the Mild Fiancée and I managed to inject some more fun into the whole process.

First, the Mild Fiancée pulled a gift early in the game, and she got a set of summer sausages. I distinctly remember that it was summer sausage, because she was so amused by the thing. Picture one of those game shows where the prize was revealed and the contestant squeals with delight; that was roughly the way it played out. And people took notice, too. That was easily the most stolen gift, by a long shot. In fact, there were all sorts of negotiations between husbands and wives about whether or not one of them could steal the summer sausage for their spouse. That's the other reason why I remember that it was summer sausage: everyone was talking about it. I must've heard those words like fifty times that night.

I, on the other hand, drew a panda phone cleaner thing. The panda part of it was cute, so it drew the attention of some of the younger nieces. In fact, there was quite a bit of collusion amongst a niece and BOTH of her parents in order to try to procure this item for her. The rules for this particular variation were that everyone picked out a present in the first round, and then there was a second round to steal. There were no limits on who could steal what or how many times an item could be stolen (hence the sausage making its rounds). So, my favorite moment came when my cousin (the niece's mom) stole the panda from me, and in the very next turn, I stole it right back. Thievery at its finest.

Even funnier, when said niece realized that the panda had been stolen back, she started making puppy eyes at her mom. I'm sure you've seen it before: little kids try to be cute in order to sway their folks. It's sort of like the prepubescent version of batting your eyelashes at someone. Regardless, she made puppy eyes, only for her mom to tell her that it was out of her hands. I was the one who'd stolen the item, and she could do nothing about it. Realizing that she had the wrong target, she immediately turned to me and made puppy eyes at ME. I cracked up on the spot, though the move had already been made. Her dad would later come to her rescue and procure said item for her, but I had already had quite the laugh.

So, in case you need someone to liven up a White Elephant gift exchange, let us know. We've got some experience in the matter.

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