In case it's not apparent from my last name, I have an Asian heritage (it's not the only one, but it's in there). I'm not super traditional about everything, but I do carry enough cultural knowledge that I understand some of the basics. Hell, the Mild Wife and I made sure to have a wedding banquet when we got married. Basically, I know enough to understand the traditions.
It's funny how this plays out, though. I mentioned the Mild Wedding, so I obviously believe in nodding to the big traditions. However, the ones I notice the most often are the small ones. For example, I usually tap my fingers to the table whenever someone pours me tea. It's actually enough of a habit that I will do the same thing if someone pours me a beer or a glass of wine. I know full well that the habit is only customary for tea, but it's always made sense to me to express thanks for other beverages, as well. I mean, you're pouring me a beer. Why wouldn't I be grateful?
A bunch of the other little habits are also around the meal table. For example, if you give me bowl of rice, I'm going to put other things directly on top of the rice and then use my chopsticks to shovel food from the bowl to my mouth (apparently, I was the first person to do this in the presence of some of my in-laws, and they were amazed by the process). Essentially, I think of the bowl of rice as home base. All food starts at home base, and then it can make its trek after having safely arrived at base camp. Even if there's a big family-style dish of the food in the middle of the table, the portion that I want to eat is going to make a stop at my rice bowl first.
The other one that I'm very conscious about is using the back of my chopsticks whenever a communal dish is involved. The rationale is pretty simple: you stick the front side of the chop sticks in your mouth, and you don't want to get your germs in the communal bowl. So, the polite thing to do is to use the end of your chopsticks that haven't been, and won't ever be, in your mouth to scoop food out of the communal bowl. Once the food is on your plate/bowl, you can safely revert back to your usual habits. Everyone is happy.
I mention this last one because a recent experience highlighted that not everyone thinks the same one. To set the scene, we were at a group meal, having Chinese food. I was mixing a plate of noodles with the sauce it came in, with the back side of my chopsticks. However, I wasn't doing the best job, so the following conversation ensued. I've paraphrased slightly, but the punch line was verbatim what that person said:
Person to my left: "Pft, Sam, you lose Asian points"
Me: "I'm using the back of my chopsticks! It's a little trickier that way."
Person to my left: "Oh, here, there's an extra pair of chopsticks. We can use those to serve stuff."
Me: "Great. Here, communal chopsticks"
Person to my left: "Hey, [person across from me], you want some noodles?"
Person across: "Sure."
Person to my left: "There's some communal chopsticks to serve yourself with."
Person across: "Hm ... I don't trust your communal chopsticks"
(person across proceeds to stick the front side of their regular chopsticks into the bowl)
The person to my left and I simultaneously groaned. We'd even offered up communal chopsticks! No one else had used them, and we knew for a fact that they were clean. But, alas, the plans of mice and men.
I'm not sure that there's a good solution to this problem, but I'm going to be just a tad more wary of eating Chinese food around this person.
It's funny how this plays out, though. I mentioned the Mild Wedding, so I obviously believe in nodding to the big traditions. However, the ones I notice the most often are the small ones. For example, I usually tap my fingers to the table whenever someone pours me tea. It's actually enough of a habit that I will do the same thing if someone pours me a beer or a glass of wine. I know full well that the habit is only customary for tea, but it's always made sense to me to express thanks for other beverages, as well. I mean, you're pouring me a beer. Why wouldn't I be grateful?
A bunch of the other little habits are also around the meal table. For example, if you give me bowl of rice, I'm going to put other things directly on top of the rice and then use my chopsticks to shovel food from the bowl to my mouth (apparently, I was the first person to do this in the presence of some of my in-laws, and they were amazed by the process). Essentially, I think of the bowl of rice as home base. All food starts at home base, and then it can make its trek after having safely arrived at base camp. Even if there's a big family-style dish of the food in the middle of the table, the portion that I want to eat is going to make a stop at my rice bowl first.
The other one that I'm very conscious about is using the back of my chopsticks whenever a communal dish is involved. The rationale is pretty simple: you stick the front side of the chop sticks in your mouth, and you don't want to get your germs in the communal bowl. So, the polite thing to do is to use the end of your chopsticks that haven't been, and won't ever be, in your mouth to scoop food out of the communal bowl. Once the food is on your plate/bowl, you can safely revert back to your usual habits. Everyone is happy.
I mention this last one because a recent experience highlighted that not everyone thinks the same one. To set the scene, we were at a group meal, having Chinese food. I was mixing a plate of noodles with the sauce it came in, with the back side of my chopsticks. However, I wasn't doing the best job, so the following conversation ensued. I've paraphrased slightly, but the punch line was verbatim what that person said:
Person to my left: "Pft, Sam, you lose Asian points"
Me: "I'm using the back of my chopsticks! It's a little trickier that way."
Person to my left: "Oh, here, there's an extra pair of chopsticks. We can use those to serve stuff."
Me: "Great. Here, communal chopsticks"
Person to my left: "Hey, [person across from me], you want some noodles?"
Person across: "Sure."
Person to my left: "There's some communal chopsticks to serve yourself with."
Person across: "Hm ... I don't trust your communal chopsticks"
(person across proceeds to stick the front side of their regular chopsticks into the bowl)
The person to my left and I simultaneously groaned. We'd even offered up communal chopsticks! No one else had used them, and we knew for a fact that they were clean. But, alas, the plans of mice and men.
I'm not sure that there's a good solution to this problem, but I'm going to be just a tad more wary of eating Chinese food around this person.
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