I'm a big fan of speaking simply & colloquially. It's not that I don't understand the five-dollar words, it's just that I find them kind of boring. There's just more soul in slang, and it's hard, if not impossible, to replicate those sentiments with words from the SAT. Maybe it's because the fancy words are less common, so we don't make any emotional attachments to them. Or maybe it's because the fancy words are often used to describe very technical material, so they come off as dry and ... clinical.
Anyhow, I like keeping it simple. As a result, I tend to paraphrase people or describe things in unique terms, both of which often lead to amusing results. Take this little gem from a meeting I was in yesterday:
Presenter: "We're trying hard to develop a marketing strategy that will target large numbers of students. We're going to take advantage of the mailing lists that the career centers have ... "
Me (quietly): "We're going to spam people?"
Person next to me: *giggle*
Now, if I had more control over the process, I would kindly point out to that presenter that said marketing strategy has a decent chance of being ignored. But my protests fall on deaf ears on this one, so the laughter from my table-mate will have to suffice.
My all-time favorite, though, is probably from the last time I donated blood. They make you fill out all sorts of forms & then ask you all sorts of questions. Considering that it'd be a bad idea to give someone a transfusion of blood that would make them sicker, I can see why. Still, they ask you all sorts of questions, including:
Nurse: "You're not afraid of needles, are you?"
Me: "Not really, but I don't like to watch when it goes in" (I'm not the only one, okay?)
Nurse: "Don't worry, you'll be fine."
Me: "Oh, I know. I just don't like watching myself getting stabbed."
Nurse: *laughs, rolls her eyes, and shakes her head all at once*
(after getting that out of her system) "You are NOT getting stabbed."
Well, yeah, I know I'm not actually being violently assaulted with a needle, but technically, you are stabbing my skin with a needle (if you're keeping score, that's 1 for me, 0 for the nurse). I just chose to describe it using a word that conveys my distaste for said motion. And, we shared a laugh, so it all worked out.
Given that extensive & scientific sample, I think we can safely conclude that this habit of mine is good for the mood of those around me (hopefully they're not laughing at me). So, I'm going to keep being a smart ass; it's good for the world.
Anyhow, I like keeping it simple. As a result, I tend to paraphrase people or describe things in unique terms, both of which often lead to amusing results. Take this little gem from a meeting I was in yesterday:
Presenter: "We're trying hard to develop a marketing strategy that will target large numbers of students. We're going to take advantage of the mailing lists that the career centers have ... "
Me (quietly): "We're going to spam people?"
Person next to me: *giggle*
Now, if I had more control over the process, I would kindly point out to that presenter that said marketing strategy has a decent chance of being ignored. But my protests fall on deaf ears on this one, so the laughter from my table-mate will have to suffice.
My all-time favorite, though, is probably from the last time I donated blood. They make you fill out all sorts of forms & then ask you all sorts of questions. Considering that it'd be a bad idea to give someone a transfusion of blood that would make them sicker, I can see why. Still, they ask you all sorts of questions, including:
Nurse: "You're not afraid of needles, are you?"
Me: "Not really, but I don't like to watch when it goes in" (I'm not the only one, okay?)
Nurse: "Don't worry, you'll be fine."
Me: "Oh, I know. I just don't like watching myself getting stabbed."
Nurse: *laughs, rolls her eyes, and shakes her head all at once*
(after getting that out of her system) "You are NOT getting stabbed."
Well, yeah, I know I'm not actually being violently assaulted with a needle, but technically, you are stabbing my skin with a needle (if you're keeping score, that's 1 for me, 0 for the nurse). I just chose to describe it using a word that conveys my distaste for said motion. And, we shared a laugh, so it all worked out.
Given that extensive & scientific sample, I think we can safely conclude that this habit of mine is good for the mood of those around me (hopefully they're not laughing at me). So, I'm going to keep being a smart ass; it's good for the world.
Quite amusing, Sam :) Who was the person next to you at the recruiting presentation? I'm guessing Carolen.
ReplyDeleteIt is funny to use slang like that, although I have to admit that I use the word "steal" too much when I'm taking something, and I'm well within my rights to do so. It often seems to confuse people...
Nope, D was sitting next to me. There were a few other things at that meeting that made me chuckle, so I kept a running commentary going.
ReplyDeleteI use "steal" the same way, actually. Though it doesn't confuse my acquaintances nearly as much, so maybe they're just more shady than your friends. =p