Mild Amusement

Generally, the kids at the daycare aren't allowed to be picky about food. Occasionally, some of the newcomers try protesting or raising a fuss about the food on their plates. Much like I did when I was young, however, they learn very quickly that such behavior will not be tolerated. In fact, some of the parents are downright amazed at the things that their kids end up eating at our house. I kid you not, I have watched one and two year olds eat brussel sprouts, broccoli, and durian with nary a peep. However, there are limits to what my mom will make for the kids. For example, one of them is allergic to peanuts, so she completely avoids making anything with nuts in it. Sure, she could feed peanuts to all but one of the kids, but that would require making two sets of food. Frankly, that's just not worth the trouble. Spicy food is also barred from the children's diet, for what I hope are obvious reasons. Basically, there are some pretty reasonable boundaries that she doesn...

A while back, I had made plans to meet up with a friend in SoMa . I dislike driving in that part of town, so I hopped on a bus to meet her there. Since she happened to live very close to a bus stop anyway, it seemed like a sound plan. As is wont to happen in my life, though, things went awry in a borderline ridiculous way. On this particular day, the buses were busy. There were more people than usual out and about, so the buses were also more packed than usual. I had a fairly long ride to get to my friend's place, so  didn't bother trying to sit down. Quite the opposite, I found an unoccupied corner, and I made myself comfortable. We still had plenty of space to move around, but I knew that this would change. Mentally patting myself on the back for planning ahead, I went about my business. As more people got on, my decision started looking like a better and better idea. That was, until the lady got on. I didn't pay her much attention at first, because I'm not near...

Food related adventures and I are no strangers. For one, I'm not opposed to eating things like deep-fried spiders or frog ovaries, so I always have interesting culinary stories to relate. Also, and on an even more amusing note, I seem to run into people-related issues with my food. Sometimes, I have a hard time ordering food and drink , and sometimes, I make sticking with my self-imposed dietary restrictions harder . Well, I have recently discovered a new item for that latter category. I still try to eat vegetarian meals when I can, since it's usually a good thing all the way around. I also really dislike the idea of imposing my diet on other people, so I prefer to do so when I can order an individual entree for myself. Generally, that means that the best time to do this is when I go out to eat, since restaurants specifically let everyone order their own dish. I order my veggie meal, other people order whatever they like, and everyone has a nice meal. Kind of hard to mess th...

As I've mentioned, I am no stranger to little kids , so I have discovered various ways to keep children entertained. Obviously, they are not all the same, but some things tend to work across the board. Ice cream, for example, has magical powers of attention-grabbing, but should only be used in very, very small doses. New toys are similar in nature; expect a mini-mob should you open one in the sight lines of a little kid. The other day, for example, I kept a bunch of kids entertained my turning the display of my phone on and off. Yes, there are far more interesting things that you can do with a smart phone, but most little kids won't be able to handle that kind of functionality. So, I kept it simple. I showed them the blank screen, and then I turned it on. I then waited a couple of seconds, and then turned it off. I made sure to say the words "on" and "off" so that they got the general concept, but the delight was clearly in the fact that the screen would f...

On my days off, I usually spend some time playing with the kids in the daycare. Most of the time, it's pretty simple stuff, like playing with Legos . Other times, the fact that I am physically stronger than the kids turns into a game . Regardless of the activity, though, the one thing that never ceases to amaze me is that kids like repetition. Put it this way: I have played with Legos so many times recently that the kids have gotten bored of the usual fare (cars, airplanes, and houses), and they have started getting creative. I can now truthfully claim to have built a giraffe, a turtle, and a duck out of Legos. Anyhow, this particular penchant for repetition always crops up in unexpected ways. For example, we had several kids over at one point, and I jokingly started chasing one of them. The kid naturally started running away, only he didn't want to run through the length of the house. Instead, he started running in a circle through the kitchen, dining room, and living room. ...

It's been a few months since I last did one of these, so I've had time to accumulate memorable quotes from the little kids that are constantly running around my house. As the title implies, there have been four previous installments ( one , two , three , and four ). As always, the caveat is that I'm not poking fun at someone that young. Heck, half the time I end up thinking the kid is ridiculously clever for the words that just came out of his mouth. Think of it more as appreciation for the inner workings of the brain of a three year old. So without further ado: Kid: "Can I eat candy?" Me: "No. Maybe you can have some as dessert after lunch." Kid: "Can I eat lunch now?" On the plus side, this child clearly has a grasp of cause and effect, and he can reason effectively. Unfortunately, his motivation is slightly suspect. Me: "What's your favorite food?" Kid: "Bacon" Me: "Bacon?" Kid: "Yes, bac...