A while back, I had made plans to meet up with a friend in SoMa. I dislike driving in that part of town, so I hopped on a bus to meet her there. Since she happened to live very close to a bus stop anyway, it seemed like a sound plan. As is wont to happen in my life, though, things went awry in a borderline ridiculous way.
On this particular day, the buses were busy. There were more people than usual out and about, so the buses were also more packed than usual. I had a fairly long ride to get to my friend's place, so didn't bother trying to sit down. Quite the opposite, I found an unoccupied corner, and I made myself comfortable. We still had plenty of space to move around, but I knew that this would change. Mentally patting myself on the back for planning ahead, I went about my business.
As more people got on, my decision started looking like a better and better idea. That was, until the lady got on.
I didn't pay her much attention at first, because I'm not nearly that nosy. In fact, the first time I noticed her was when she grabbed the hand hold nearest to me. That put her in my line of sight, but again, I wasn't nearly nosy enough to notice much more than, "oh, the bus is filling up." She was chatting away with some other guy, but I'm not a very good eavesdropper, so I didn't catch details. I assumed the guy was a significant other, so that made me even less inclined to try to catch the details of their conversation.
Over the course of the next few stops, though, I noticed that she kept slowly inching towards me. Sure, the bus was filling up, but her movements were not proportional to the space around her. I don't mean that she'd just shift her weight and slide an inch to one side. We all do stuff like that subconsciously. No, I mean that she would switch which hand was holding the handrail, and then reposition her body. The net effect was taking roughly a step and a half towards me, effectively reducing my personal space.
When I first noticed that this was happening, I immediately assumed the crowds were getting larger. As I looked around, though, the crowd had not gotten significantly bigger. In fact, I noticed that each of her movements seemed to create a bit of an empty space in the area that she had just evacuated. So, no, she wasn't being pushed towards me by a throng of people.
It was a little weird, but I assumed that she was trying to find a more comfortable position. That was about the only thing I could think of that would explain her behavior. Of course, that essentially that she was sacrificing my sense of personal space for her comfort, so it irked me just a tad. Unfortunately for me, this was just the beginning.
Remember, I was standing in a corner. That meant that I could not back up without gaining the power to phase through solid matter. Also, I was leaning against the wall, so I knew for a fact that I was not somehow moving forward. Any and all changes to the spacing between the two of us were directly caused by this lady's movements.
The movements, as I hinted, did not stop. When I was about halfway to my destination, this lady was now standing right in front of me. That meant that her face was no more than a few inches away from mine. Much like dancing with a stranger, this was an awkward situation. I'm almost certain that the lady was also aware of the awkwardness, because she was suddenly a little more fidgety, as well. Also, because she was suddenly more aware of the lack of a buffer, she would shift her eyes around a little more. I caught her stealing glances in my direction once or twice.
Now, I did have a couple of options to remedy this situation. Both of them could be roughly described as "ignore the weird lady." Rather than looking straight ahead, and therefore looking at this lady, I could just look out the window or generally zone out. This meant that I didn't have to look at her, and I could continue to mind my own business. The second plan was an even more extreme extension of the first plan: I could rest my eyes and catch a tiny nap. I actually was a little tired, so this wasn't that crazy a plan. By following a combination of these two plans, I was able to survive another few stops.
As I had my eyes closed, though, I heard a shuffling. Next thing I knew, the lady's elbow had struck me in the chest (side of my rib cage, if you really want to be specific). What the hell. That wasn't cool. What was even less cool was that she didn't apologize at all. I had my eyes closed, so I didn't actually see her reaction. However, I did open my eyes and stare in disbelief. Conveniently, she had chosen that moment to stare off into space with her back turned to me.
I get that accidents happen, and when they do, most people instinctively offer some sort of rushed apology. In general, that's how you know it was an accident: the reaction is immediate and doesn't require any thought. This, however, showed neither of those signs. I know she felt the impact of the blow, since it was substantial enough that it made me open my eyes. But rather than flinching or reacting in any way, she actually showed less reaction and then "calmly" looked away. Think of your favorite unkind word to say to someone. That's what I was thinking at this point.
Grumbling to myself, I closed my eyes again. Given the previous behavior, I was half expecting to get bumped again. In fact, I was annoyed enough at that point that I was half hoping to get into a verbal dispute with this (your favorite unkind word). The boyfriend seemed completely oblivious to all of this, but I resolved to let her have a piece of my mind when it happened again.
A few stops later, I opened my eyes to check where we were. The lady was gone. The boyfriend, however, was not. In fact, he was happily checking his phone for something or other. I hadn't heard anything resembling a farewell between the two, though.
Suddenly, a curious thought occurred to me: maybe I had just been hit on, in a very literal sense, by a very passive-aggressive older woman.
The next thought, of course, was, "Seriously? Why can't I meet normal women?"
On this particular day, the buses were busy. There were more people than usual out and about, so the buses were also more packed than usual. I had a fairly long ride to get to my friend's place, so didn't bother trying to sit down. Quite the opposite, I found an unoccupied corner, and I made myself comfortable. We still had plenty of space to move around, but I knew that this would change. Mentally patting myself on the back for planning ahead, I went about my business.
As more people got on, my decision started looking like a better and better idea. That was, until the lady got on.
I didn't pay her much attention at first, because I'm not nearly that nosy. In fact, the first time I noticed her was when she grabbed the hand hold nearest to me. That put her in my line of sight, but again, I wasn't nearly nosy enough to notice much more than, "oh, the bus is filling up." She was chatting away with some other guy, but I'm not a very good eavesdropper, so I didn't catch details. I assumed the guy was a significant other, so that made me even less inclined to try to catch the details of their conversation.
Over the course of the next few stops, though, I noticed that she kept slowly inching towards me. Sure, the bus was filling up, but her movements were not proportional to the space around her. I don't mean that she'd just shift her weight and slide an inch to one side. We all do stuff like that subconsciously. No, I mean that she would switch which hand was holding the handrail, and then reposition her body. The net effect was taking roughly a step and a half towards me, effectively reducing my personal space.
When I first noticed that this was happening, I immediately assumed the crowds were getting larger. As I looked around, though, the crowd had not gotten significantly bigger. In fact, I noticed that each of her movements seemed to create a bit of an empty space in the area that she had just evacuated. So, no, she wasn't being pushed towards me by a throng of people.
It was a little weird, but I assumed that she was trying to find a more comfortable position. That was about the only thing I could think of that would explain her behavior. Of course, that essentially that she was sacrificing my sense of personal space for her comfort, so it irked me just a tad. Unfortunately for me, this was just the beginning.
Remember, I was standing in a corner. That meant that I could not back up without gaining the power to phase through solid matter. Also, I was leaning against the wall, so I knew for a fact that I was not somehow moving forward. Any and all changes to the spacing between the two of us were directly caused by this lady's movements.
The movements, as I hinted, did not stop. When I was about halfway to my destination, this lady was now standing right in front of me. That meant that her face was no more than a few inches away from mine. Much like dancing with a stranger, this was an awkward situation. I'm almost certain that the lady was also aware of the awkwardness, because she was suddenly a little more fidgety, as well. Also, because she was suddenly more aware of the lack of a buffer, she would shift her eyes around a little more. I caught her stealing glances in my direction once or twice.
Now, I did have a couple of options to remedy this situation. Both of them could be roughly described as "ignore the weird lady." Rather than looking straight ahead, and therefore looking at this lady, I could just look out the window or generally zone out. This meant that I didn't have to look at her, and I could continue to mind my own business. The second plan was an even more extreme extension of the first plan: I could rest my eyes and catch a tiny nap. I actually was a little tired, so this wasn't that crazy a plan. By following a combination of these two plans, I was able to survive another few stops.
As I had my eyes closed, though, I heard a shuffling. Next thing I knew, the lady's elbow had struck me in the chest (side of my rib cage, if you really want to be specific). What the hell. That wasn't cool. What was even less cool was that she didn't apologize at all. I had my eyes closed, so I didn't actually see her reaction. However, I did open my eyes and stare in disbelief. Conveniently, she had chosen that moment to stare off into space with her back turned to me.
I get that accidents happen, and when they do, most people instinctively offer some sort of rushed apology. In general, that's how you know it was an accident: the reaction is immediate and doesn't require any thought. This, however, showed neither of those signs. I know she felt the impact of the blow, since it was substantial enough that it made me open my eyes. But rather than flinching or reacting in any way, she actually showed less reaction and then "calmly" looked away. Think of your favorite unkind word to say to someone. That's what I was thinking at this point.
Grumbling to myself, I closed my eyes again. Given the previous behavior, I was half expecting to get bumped again. In fact, I was annoyed enough at that point that I was half hoping to get into a verbal dispute with this (your favorite unkind word). The boyfriend seemed completely oblivious to all of this, but I resolved to let her have a piece of my mind when it happened again.
A few stops later, I opened my eyes to check where we were. The lady was gone. The boyfriend, however, was not. In fact, he was happily checking his phone for something or other. I hadn't heard anything resembling a farewell between the two, though.
Suddenly, a curious thought occurred to me: maybe I had just been hit on, in a very literal sense, by a very passive-aggressive older woman.
The next thought, of course, was, "Seriously? Why can't I meet normal women?"
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