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The Transitive Property

I'm a logical person, in the sense that I have an affinity for things like logic and abstract concepts. I suspect that it started when I was a kid and I just wanted to know how things worked. That mentality will quickly lead you down the path of math and science, so I am no stranger to the "hard sciences." According to Scott Adams, that also means I am no stranger to an abnormal life, though, so I'm not about to brag.

For the most part, this serves me well. I have a decent shot of solving every day problems, and it has led to a career that I mostly enjoy.

There is, however, one very small problem. An inquisitive mind isn't something you easily turn on and off. That means that I am constantly amused by small logical fallacies around me. For example, I chuckle when I see an email that says, "if you are having trouble receiving this email, please email us."  It's just how it goes.

For some reason, though, the transitive property seems to come up again and again in all of this. Sometimes, I just crack silly jokes, but most of the time, it's not even my fault. For example:

  • Guy: "Whatever you're the goofy one"
    Girl: "Your butt"
    Guy: "Your face"
    Girl #2: "Wait ... so does that mean his butt is equal to her face?"

    That thought hadn't honestly crossed my mind until the second girl chimed in. Once I heard that, though, I couldn't un-hear it. That exchange is pretty much permanently etched into my memory, and I can't help but remember it whenever I hear two people arguing back and forth. As a result, I have laughed out loud in the middle of more than one argument.
  • Me: "Haha, way to make it obvious you're into that girl"
    Guy: "Nah, not like that"
    (Two weeks later)
    Me: "So you talk to [mutual friend] much?"
    Guy: "Sort of. Somehow he ended up on a team with a hot girl again. That guy has all the luck"

    Wait, "again?" Let me get this straight: our friend is always being partnered up with hot girls, and this is the second such time that you have seen this happen. By extension, the first girl was a hot girl, and you were jealous the first time, too. But you're not really interested? Methinks that my logic trumps your lying in this case.
  • Friend: "I drank out of that cup, he drank out of that cup. That means that we have kissed."

    This is actually my favorite example of the application of the transitive property. I had a friend tell me this a long while back, but it has stuck with me because of the sheer comedic gold (teenagers say some pretty funny things sometimes). This is another one that has the potential to cause me to laugh out loud for no apparent reason.
  So there you have it. It turns out that math & science aren't nearly as boring as you might think, and that I have some interesting friends.
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