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Parking Uphill

My friend was in town a little while back, so I spent an evening hanging out at her house. She actually wasn't around for very long, so she had invited a bunch of other people over in an attempt to see as many of them as possible. It was a very chill night, and I met several new people. Eventually, though, it started to get late, and people started to leave. That's when the fun began.

One of the first guys to leave said his goodbyes, and then walked out. A few minutes later, though, he walked back in. Surprised, everyone looked up to see what had happened.

Guy: "So, um, I have enough gas, but ... "

He didn't actually trail off at that point, but I'm going to interject here. When someone starts a sentence like this, several thoughts can go through your head. For example, you might think:

  • "Wait a second, does he want to siphon gas?"
    This was actually what went through my head, and I was not alone. At least one other guy later admitted he thought the same thing. Of course, both of us immediately jumped to the conclusion that if gas needed to be siphoned, we were not going to be the ones sucking on the hose to start the flow. By all accounts, that stuff tastes nasty.
  • "Does he need a ride to the gas station?"
    In what is probably a very telling difference between the sexes, most of the women in the room jumped to this as the logical solution to the problem. Truth be told, this simply didn't occur to me.
  • "Does anyone have one of those small emergency cans of gas specifically meant for this?"
    I'm pretty sure I heard someone say this during the discussion afterward, but it was almost an afterthought. Apparently people are very bad at planning for this particular contingency.
Anyhow, the guy actually completed his sentence with, "I parked uphill, so the engine isn't turning over. Can someone help be push the car to level it out? That will be enough to get it started."

As a different friend of mine later remarked, this is a whole new level of cutting it close. Sure, I've driven my car when the light that means "you're almost out of fuel" has turned on. I imagine the majority of people have. But, usually, people go out of their way to get gas shortly thereafter. This was the first time I'd met someone who had so little gas in their tank that the orientation of the car mattered, significantly. The fumes are running on fumes at that point, I would imagine.

Anyhow, several of us guys got up and headed outside to help him, to a backdrop of women laughing and making jokes about guys being macho. Cars are surprisingly easy to push, though, so we had more than enough manpower. However, even after we managed to get the car turned so that it was now perpendicular to the (non-existent) flow of traffic, the car still wouldn't start. Imagining that if the car was facing downhill it would help, we kept turning the car. I was a little worried since that signaled a bit of a point of no return. Luckily, the engine mercifully started once the car was oriented such that it faced downhill.

Holy crap, the guy was right. Parking uphill was the problem. Then again, the fact that he could accurately diagnose this was a bit troubling. Clearly, he was well-acquainted with the bottom of the gas tank.

There wasn't much we could do at that point other than laugh and hope he planned his route to the nearest gas station well. Sure, he was going down hill, but it wasn't a straight shot to the gas station. Luckily, no harm befell him on the tail end of his trip (as far as I know).

Still, it was one heck of a way to spice up an evening. Also, I'm going to be a little more wary about parking uphill from now on.
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