Sometime in college, my brother and I decided to get earrings. I don't even really remember why I agreed to the idea, but I do remember thinking, "at worst, I'll just let the hole close up." I didn't hate it, so I still wear one to this day. Funnily enough, my brother has since given his up, even though the whole thing was originally his idea. Still, that one little item has caused more than a few funny stories.
First off, I now know a little bit of the pain women feel when they lose one. I managed to lose the original one when I was at the gym a while back, and I remember it bugging me. You know how paper cuts tend to sting? They're not excruciatingly painful, but those teeny little cuts are constantly reminding you that you cut yourself. It was like that. I think my OCD was more to blame than anything else, but it kept bugging me (stupid faulty clasp). I've since learned to take the darn thing off before exercising, but not before this little episode led to one of my run-ins with girl stores.
Secondly, whenever someone notices that I wear an earring, there's a non-trivial chance that it will lead to laughter. Remember, I've been wearing an earring for close to a decade now (yes, I just dated myself), so I don't really think much of it. Others, not so much. A while back, I was standing around waiting for someone, not really doing anything unusual. Suddenly, one of the people in our group stopped, looked at me, and scrunched his eyebrows:
Him: "Wait, you wear an earring?"
Me: "Yup"
Him: "Have you always had it?"
Me: "Since before you met me" (we've worked together for at least a couple of years)
Him: "Huh, weird I guess I just never noticed it before."
Me: "Guess I'm just sneaky like that."
Him: "It's so ... conspicuous"
Yup, someone managed to tell me that my earring was both really, really noticeable and really, really good at hiding, all within the same conversation. I waited a second or two to see if the guy would catch this, but he just carried on. Not quite sure what to say, I quickly changed the subject so that my brain wouldn't continue to try to make sense of the contradiction.
I've also had one of the trainers at the gym look at me in surprise when she noticed. Her rationale, however, was that I always walked by with the front desk on my right. Since my earring sat on my left ear, it was always shielded from her. My left ear was like the dark side of the moon to her, with all manner of mystery lurking there. Of course, she also poked fun about the "bling bling," so I started to walk away with a laugh. Had I stayed, it probably would have occurred to me that when I exited the gym, my earring should have been on the light side of the moon. Again, it was probably better for my poor little brain to avoid pondering the contradiction.
Still, my absolute favorite response to the earring was after a presentation I gave at work. Someone was talking to me about the presentation, and apparently I had done a good enough job that she hadn't fallen asleep (how's that for an attainable goal?). That led to:
Me: "Well, glad it wasn't boring."
Her: "Yeah. Then again, it could have just been that big old rock shining in my eyes that kept me awake"
Me: "Haha. It's funny, some people don't even notice."
Her: "Oh, believe me, I noticed. I was like, 'dang, playa!'"
She was exaggerating, of course. It's not like I'm walking around with hundreds of dollars of jewelry hanging off of my ear lobe. Still, it cracked me up to hear myself described that way. For a brief second, I had visions of being a professional athlete where huge diamond earrings were practically required. I chuckled heartily at that mental image.
So all in all, I think it's pretty much settled: I'm going to keep wearing the thing for the comedic value, if nothing else.
First off, I now know a little bit of the pain women feel when they lose one. I managed to lose the original one when I was at the gym a while back, and I remember it bugging me. You know how paper cuts tend to sting? They're not excruciatingly painful, but those teeny little cuts are constantly reminding you that you cut yourself. It was like that. I think my OCD was more to blame than anything else, but it kept bugging me (stupid faulty clasp). I've since learned to take the darn thing off before exercising, but not before this little episode led to one of my run-ins with girl stores.
Secondly, whenever someone notices that I wear an earring, there's a non-trivial chance that it will lead to laughter. Remember, I've been wearing an earring for close to a decade now (yes, I just dated myself), so I don't really think much of it. Others, not so much. A while back, I was standing around waiting for someone, not really doing anything unusual. Suddenly, one of the people in our group stopped, looked at me, and scrunched his eyebrows:
Him: "Wait, you wear an earring?"
Me: "Yup"
Him: "Have you always had it?"
Me: "Since before you met me" (we've worked together for at least a couple of years)
Him: "Huh, weird I guess I just never noticed it before."
Me: "Guess I'm just sneaky like that."
Him: "It's so ... conspicuous"
Yup, someone managed to tell me that my earring was both really, really noticeable and really, really good at hiding, all within the same conversation. I waited a second or two to see if the guy would catch this, but he just carried on. Not quite sure what to say, I quickly changed the subject so that my brain wouldn't continue to try to make sense of the contradiction.
I've also had one of the trainers at the gym look at me in surprise when she noticed. Her rationale, however, was that I always walked by with the front desk on my right. Since my earring sat on my left ear, it was always shielded from her. My left ear was like the dark side of the moon to her, with all manner of mystery lurking there. Of course, she also poked fun about the "bling bling," so I started to walk away with a laugh. Had I stayed, it probably would have occurred to me that when I exited the gym, my earring should have been on the light side of the moon. Again, it was probably better for my poor little brain to avoid pondering the contradiction.
Still, my absolute favorite response to the earring was after a presentation I gave at work. Someone was talking to me about the presentation, and apparently I had done a good enough job that she hadn't fallen asleep (how's that for an attainable goal?). That led to:
Me: "Well, glad it wasn't boring."
Her: "Yeah. Then again, it could have just been that big old rock shining in my eyes that kept me awake"
Me: "Haha. It's funny, some people don't even notice."
Her: "Oh, believe me, I noticed. I was like, 'dang, playa!'"
She was exaggerating, of course. It's not like I'm walking around with hundreds of dollars of jewelry hanging off of my ear lobe. Still, it cracked me up to hear myself described that way. For a brief second, I had visions of being a professional athlete where huge diamond earrings were practically required. I chuckled heartily at that mental image.
So all in all, I think it's pretty much settled: I'm going to keep wearing the thing for the comedic value, if nothing else.
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