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Embellisher

I've mentioned before that I like to play loose with language. It's not like I'm lying to people or even deceiving them; it's just a way of livening up the stories being told. Plus, it allows me to be more of a smart aleck, so I'm all for it. Really, it's just a way to add some laughs to the world. That's all good and dandy, but recently, I've found myself in the position of making other people's stories more interesting. This takes a little more effort, but the pay off is no less fun.

Take my sister-in-law. I was talking to her recently, and I asked how her weekend had gone. She told me, "oh, didn't do anything, my life's boring." I knew from my brother that she'd spent the better part of a day shopping with her mom, so I decided that this just wouldn't do. In fact, I told her that from now on, the story of her weekend would be, "shopped till I dropped with my mom. Good thing [my brother] wasn't around to see the bills!" That statement was no less true than the first one, but my version had that much more pizzazz.

She was quite amused with this new version of the story, so I joked that I should be allowed to tell all of her stories from now on. "Just think of the team we'd make," I told her. And you know what? Based solely on this one performance, she agreed. That's right, I got someone to agree that I make things more awesome simply by talking about them. *brushes dirt off shoulders*

In hindsight, though, that was merely the opening act. Not too long after this chat, I would unveil my piece de resistance. The lead up was fairly similar, in that I asked a friend of mine what she had gotten up to for the day. She claimed that she really hadn't gotten up to much. In fact, the word "boring" was thrown about. Of course, me being me, I scoffed and asked a few follow up questions.

Well, it turns out that she had to get shots for an upcoming international trip.What kind of shots? Polio. Apparently, you need a booster if you're going to be somewhere where you might be exposed to the disease. Oh, and she had also gone to a pottery painting class with a friend. She hadn't finished yet, because it would take a week for the whole process to finish (she explained the details, but I don't quite remember all of the intricacies). Regardless, it wasn't done yet. So given all of this new information, I replied with the first thought that came to mind:

"I'm not going to believe you any more. Laughing in the face of polio and starting a week long art project is NOT boring."

Many a laugh was had following that comment. She also claimed that I made it far more exciting than it actually was, but I wasn't buying that. Again, I wasn't lying, just telling it like I saw it. If all it took was a couple of words to make it sound awesome, it was probably awesome to begin with.

So, given this highly extensive and scientific sample, I think I need to start providing this service on a wider basis. You come to me with your stories, and I'll make them sound even better than they originally were. I can even start going by a new moniker to make an impression. The Embellisher, at your service.
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