A while back, I joined up with a bunch of friends for some beers on a weekend afternoon. They picked some place I'd never been to before, but I didn't care all that much. I mean, the general plan was "drink some beer," so it's not like I was going to be too exacting about the venue. I was running a little late, but by the time I got there, the rest of the crew was executing beautifully on the general plan. However, they had thrown a wrinkle in to the plan by also starting up a game of shuffleboard.
It's rare that I see a shuffleboard table, so every time I do, I'm always amused by the novelty of the thing. However, seeing as how I was late, I got my hands on a mug of beer, sat back, and watched. Combining the commentary from the peanut gallery with the beers that had been consumed, this was a pretty amusing spectacle to watch.
As it turned out, I wasn't going to be a spectator for long. At one point, one of the other guys bowed out, so I stepped up to take his place. I happened to end up on the same two-man team as the other Peruvian person, so we quickly turned it into a game of "Peruvians versus the world." With national pride on the line, it was on. No messing around for these games.
Now, if you're like me, you don't remember the rules of shuffleboard off the top of your head. There are a several lines on the table, and sliding your piece past each line resorts in more points. The closer you get to the end of the table, the more points you score. The first team to 21 points wins the game. Of course, it's also fairly easy to slide a piece entirely off the table, or for one of your opponents to knock your piece away somehow. If it doesn't stay on the table, it doesn't count.
By this point, we were engaged in quite a bit of smack talk and otherwise livening up the game (like I said, the plan was to drink some beer). It was all in fun, but there were plenty of jokes flying from both sides. And as luck had it, my team jumped out to a big lead. We were winning by 5 to 6 points very early on, and we eventually jumped out to a 20-13 lead. A single point was enough to win the game. It was just a matter of time.
As they say, however, there's a reason you play the game. The very next round was a poor one for the Peruvians, so we went scoreless and the other team picked up 3 points. Now they were within striking distance (20-16), and we had to be careful. This was precisely the time when one of the guys on the other team decided to play the best shuffleboard of his life. He had been fairly erratic for most of the afternoon, but it's not like he was horrible.For this one round, though, he absolutely killed it, and he managed to position pieces to score 5 points. Then and there, I dubbed him the Derek Fisher of shuffleboard (for non basketball fans, Derek Fisher isn't a superstar, but he always seems to hit important shots at critical times).
We, however, had the last move. Specifically, I had the last move. So, all I had to do was either knock away one of their scoring pieces or score at least a point. I decided to play for the win, and I slid my piece around the defensive wall Mr. Fisher had managed to construct. It felt good as it left my hand, and it looked like it had the right amount of velocity to at least let us live to fight another round.
As it slid down the table, though, it started to slide close to the edge of the table. This was actually a good thing, since it would avoid the other pieces, and score us more points. If both teams scored 21, the larger total should've won the game, right? My piece was pulling a high wire act with the edge of the table, but it had slowed considerably. It looked good, and just needed to stop.
Then, it just fell off the edge of the table. Our victory disappeared just like that. A solid 2 or 3 points for us turned in to 0, and the other team ended up winning by a single, solitary point. My national pride was crushed.
The kicker of all this, though, was that the peanut gallery started commenting on the last move, and one of them wanted a close-up look. As it turns out, the piece fell off because there was a freaking divot in the table. My piece that was about to stop on its own and score points had basically hit a pothole, and THAT had caused the piece to wobble enough to fall off the edge of the table. I kid you not, there was an independently-verified divot in that table that sealed our doom.
Divots suck.
It's rare that I see a shuffleboard table, so every time I do, I'm always amused by the novelty of the thing. However, seeing as how I was late, I got my hands on a mug of beer, sat back, and watched. Combining the commentary from the peanut gallery with the beers that had been consumed, this was a pretty amusing spectacle to watch.
As it turned out, I wasn't going to be a spectator for long. At one point, one of the other guys bowed out, so I stepped up to take his place. I happened to end up on the same two-man team as the other Peruvian person, so we quickly turned it into a game of "Peruvians versus the world." With national pride on the line, it was on. No messing around for these games.
Now, if you're like me, you don't remember the rules of shuffleboard off the top of your head. There are a several lines on the table, and sliding your piece past each line resorts in more points. The closer you get to the end of the table, the more points you score. The first team to 21 points wins the game. Of course, it's also fairly easy to slide a piece entirely off the table, or for one of your opponents to knock your piece away somehow. If it doesn't stay on the table, it doesn't count.
By this point, we were engaged in quite a bit of smack talk and otherwise livening up the game (like I said, the plan was to drink some beer). It was all in fun, but there were plenty of jokes flying from both sides. And as luck had it, my team jumped out to a big lead. We were winning by 5 to 6 points very early on, and we eventually jumped out to a 20-13 lead. A single point was enough to win the game. It was just a matter of time.
As they say, however, there's a reason you play the game. The very next round was a poor one for the Peruvians, so we went scoreless and the other team picked up 3 points. Now they were within striking distance (20-16), and we had to be careful. This was precisely the time when one of the guys on the other team decided to play the best shuffleboard of his life. He had been fairly erratic for most of the afternoon, but it's not like he was horrible.For this one round, though, he absolutely killed it, and he managed to position pieces to score 5 points. Then and there, I dubbed him the Derek Fisher of shuffleboard (for non basketball fans, Derek Fisher isn't a superstar, but he always seems to hit important shots at critical times).
We, however, had the last move. Specifically, I had the last move. So, all I had to do was either knock away one of their scoring pieces or score at least a point. I decided to play for the win, and I slid my piece around the defensive wall Mr. Fisher had managed to construct. It felt good as it left my hand, and it looked like it had the right amount of velocity to at least let us live to fight another round.
As it slid down the table, though, it started to slide close to the edge of the table. This was actually a good thing, since it would avoid the other pieces, and score us more points. If both teams scored 21, the larger total should've won the game, right? My piece was pulling a high wire act with the edge of the table, but it had slowed considerably. It looked good, and just needed to stop.
Then, it just fell off the edge of the table. Our victory disappeared just like that. A solid 2 or 3 points for us turned in to 0, and the other team ended up winning by a single, solitary point. My national pride was crushed.
The kicker of all this, though, was that the peanut gallery started commenting on the last move, and one of them wanted a close-up look. As it turns out, the piece fell off because there was a freaking divot in the table. My piece that was about to stop on its own and score points had basically hit a pothole, and THAT had caused the piece to wobble enough to fall off the edge of the table. I kid you not, there was an independently-verified divot in that table that sealed our doom.
Divots suck.
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