I was on a trip to Canada recently. Usually, I tend to to do road trips with a friend (with hilarious results), but this time, we both got a bit lazy about planning and driving. So, we hopped on a bus tour that took care of all of that for us. Sure, we had to sacrifice some independence in order to do this, but it seemed like a pretty good idea. And all in all, it wasn't that bad. Still, there were a few quirks.
First off, I was the youngest person on the trip ... by far. I had never really stopped to consider what kind of people might be on the tour with us, but apparently the kind of people who have decent amounts of disposable income and prefer to be shuttled around tend to be closer to retirement age. Weird. We actually had an introductory meeting the first night of our trip, and we walked in to a room full of gray hairs. Don't get me wrong, the majority of the people were fun to talk to and I had no problem with them. Still, it was a little disconcerting at first.
As the trip progressed, though, I noticed that the tour seemed to be structured with certain sensibilities in mind. We took a lot of rest stops, so much so that we even stopped at a Circle K at one point. Sure, it was a really nice Circle K and there were decent odds that people would need supplies later in the day. But still, it was a freaking gas station. I've never once planned a gas stop on a road trip, and it seemed a little weird. We also made a stop on a little trail to walk around and get pictures. Upon hearing this, I figured it'd be fun. I like hiking, or even walking non-trivial distances in cities. Unfortunately for me, the trail was something like a quarter mile loop. I walked the whole thing in under fifteen minutes, and I was probably the second person to finish. Heck, I thought very long and hard about completing a second loop, just to felt like I'd gotten some exercise (it didn't happen).
Still, by far the funniest result of the demographics was the "screw it, I can get away with this because I'm old" mentality that would pop up on occasion. I remember two specific examples of this that just flat out made me laugh out loud. In the first case, someone was trying to get a picture with a couple other people. Another gentleman from our crew just happened to be walking in front, and the picture requester asked his companion, "hey, do you want this guy in our photo? I don't." This brashness and rudeness didn't sit well with me, so I cracked some joke about how I could find the passerby something to throw, if he really wanted. His response, though, was classic: "Who gives a shit? Honestly, stupid fucking people." I burst out laughing on the spot. The deadpan delivery, the complete disregard for idiocy, and the fact that he pretty much just kept walking was perfect. In fact, I shook his hand for making my day (that got him to crack a smile).
The second example came when we were having a group dinner, with our group spread across six or seven smaller tables. I don't even remember how it came up during dinner conversation, but someone joked that we should pop some of the nearby balloons. Most of us quickly forgot about it as nothing more than a joke. Yes, I said "most of us." As our meal was wrapping up, the oldest lady at our table suddenly got a devious smile on her face, and she grabbed her dessert fork. Several of us saw her do it, but we thought she was still joking. Slowly, though, she dipped the fork hand out of sight, below the table. Still, she kept smiling. More than a few seconds passed, so again, we figured it was nothing more than an extended joke. Nope, she had just been biding her time. With a surprising quickness, the hand darted out from underneath the table and she literally stabbed the balloon with her fork.
I was way too surprised to truly laugh the way I wanted to, but it cracked me up. She had actually done it; she freaking stabbed a balloon in mid air with a fork. How many of you have ever done that? I know little kids that are capable of it, but that's about it. It's just not something you're supposed to do as an adult, you're supposed to have better control of your id than that. The balloon didn't actually pop, though, and there was a palpable disappointment in her face. Honestly, though, that added that much more to the hilarity of the situation. She was living life like a kid, with all the pure emotion and reckless abandon that the concept entailed. I just couldn't help but be amused by it all.
I think I'm going to have to include some older folks in my army for world domination. They can be ridiculously awesome sometimes.
First off, I was the youngest person on the trip ... by far. I had never really stopped to consider what kind of people might be on the tour with us, but apparently the kind of people who have decent amounts of disposable income and prefer to be shuttled around tend to be closer to retirement age. Weird. We actually had an introductory meeting the first night of our trip, and we walked in to a room full of gray hairs. Don't get me wrong, the majority of the people were fun to talk to and I had no problem with them. Still, it was a little disconcerting at first.
As the trip progressed, though, I noticed that the tour seemed to be structured with certain sensibilities in mind. We took a lot of rest stops, so much so that we even stopped at a Circle K at one point. Sure, it was a really nice Circle K and there were decent odds that people would need supplies later in the day. But still, it was a freaking gas station. I've never once planned a gas stop on a road trip, and it seemed a little weird. We also made a stop on a little trail to walk around and get pictures. Upon hearing this, I figured it'd be fun. I like hiking, or even walking non-trivial distances in cities. Unfortunately for me, the trail was something like a quarter mile loop. I walked the whole thing in under fifteen minutes, and I was probably the second person to finish. Heck, I thought very long and hard about completing a second loop, just to felt like I'd gotten some exercise (it didn't happen).
Still, by far the funniest result of the demographics was the "screw it, I can get away with this because I'm old" mentality that would pop up on occasion. I remember two specific examples of this that just flat out made me laugh out loud. In the first case, someone was trying to get a picture with a couple other people. Another gentleman from our crew just happened to be walking in front, and the picture requester asked his companion, "hey, do you want this guy in our photo? I don't." This brashness and rudeness didn't sit well with me, so I cracked some joke about how I could find the passerby something to throw, if he really wanted. His response, though, was classic: "Who gives a shit? Honestly, stupid fucking people." I burst out laughing on the spot. The deadpan delivery, the complete disregard for idiocy, and the fact that he pretty much just kept walking was perfect. In fact, I shook his hand for making my day (that got him to crack a smile).
The second example came when we were having a group dinner, with our group spread across six or seven smaller tables. I don't even remember how it came up during dinner conversation, but someone joked that we should pop some of the nearby balloons. Most of us quickly forgot about it as nothing more than a joke. Yes, I said "most of us." As our meal was wrapping up, the oldest lady at our table suddenly got a devious smile on her face, and she grabbed her dessert fork. Several of us saw her do it, but we thought she was still joking. Slowly, though, she dipped the fork hand out of sight, below the table. Still, she kept smiling. More than a few seconds passed, so again, we figured it was nothing more than an extended joke. Nope, she had just been biding her time. With a surprising quickness, the hand darted out from underneath the table and she literally stabbed the balloon with her fork.
I was way too surprised to truly laugh the way I wanted to, but it cracked me up. She had actually done it; she freaking stabbed a balloon in mid air with a fork. How many of you have ever done that? I know little kids that are capable of it, but that's about it. It's just not something you're supposed to do as an adult, you're supposed to have better control of your id than that. The balloon didn't actually pop, though, and there was a palpable disappointment in her face. Honestly, though, that added that much more to the hilarity of the situation. She was living life like a kid, with all the pure emotion and reckless abandon that the concept entailed. I just couldn't help but be amused by it all.
I think I'm going to have to include some older folks in my army for world domination. They can be ridiculously awesome sometimes.
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