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Tough Sacrifices

Every now and then, I like to jokingly complain that this whole adulthood thing sucks. Usually, this happens when I have to do something boring at work or when I have to pass on something fun in favor of taking care of an errand. There is a grain of truth in this; being a functional adult means accepting responsibility, and responsibility occasionally means having to do things you don't like. Still, it comes with the territory, so I accept it and move on with whatever it is I have to do. Obviously, this is not a unique view. There are literally billions of others on this planet who intuitively know and understand this. However, there are times when this can be applied in very creative, and very amusing, ways.

The simplest, and most obvious, example of this comes with little kids who have been taught to share. Even if you've never seen it in person, you instinctively know that most little kids don't like to share. They eventually get over that, but the first few times that they have to give up a toy or agree to split something, they are not happy. This is why it is twice as funny when the same kid will offer to share a morsel of food on his plate that he doesn't particularly care for. For the most part, this isn't a problem for the kids I hang out with, but still, every kid has days where he doesn't feel like eating a certain dish. On those days, if I am sitting at the table with said kid, I will suddenly find that kid to be exceptionally generous with food from his plate. I'm pretty sure I've heard, "Hey Sam, I want to share my broccoli with you" or some variant of it on at least a couple of occasions.

Little kids aren't the only ones who purport to make sacrifices that turn out in their favor, either. I remember talking to a friend who was going on and on about how she was going to give up driving to be more environmentally conscious. Sounded like a pretty noble thing to do, right? There was one small catch, though; she took Caltrain to work every day, she lived right next to a Muni station, and she generally hopped on cabs to get anywhere that she couldn't reach via public transportation. I couldn't help myself; I cracked a joke. For the life of her, though, she couldn't understand why I was amused:

Me: "You don't really drive much to begin with. Awfully convenient for you ...."
Her: "Exactly, it's convenient"
Me: "Huh? Some sacrifice"
Her: "Yeah, I'm still giving it up"

At that point, I gave up. She was so focused on the "I gave something up" part that it didn't cross her mind that the reaction should be anything less than hearty praise. In that case, I am telling all of you right now that I agree to not fly to moon any time soon. Take it easy on the applause, please.

The best example of this I've ever seen, though, involved a birthday and a dinner. I was talking to a friend, and she said, "I guess I'll be good and let him take me out to dinner for my birthday." Please, take a second to read that again, to make sure the words actually sink in. Yes, in her mind, she had turned "letting him take me out to dinner for my birthday" into a "sacrifice." I'm not even sure I have the words to describe the reaction I had. I wasn't quite speechless, but I was definitely quiet for a few minutes after that. Anyone want to bet on the odds that she offered to share her broccoli during the ensuing meal?

Given all of this, though, I've decided that adulthood does still suck, but should I ever feel the need, I can get awfully creative with the sacrifices I make. Heck, it might inject some fun in to this whole responsibility thing.
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