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The Canary

If you've been reading this blog for any amount of time, you probably know that I have a couple of friends that I jokingly call the Litmus Tests. The joke goes that every time they have met one of my girlfriends or I have gone a trip with them, the relationship has come to a halt shortly thereafter. Neither one is to blame, but it's still pretty amusing to think about it in those terms. It's like they're the harbingers of break ups. Well, as it turns out, I have a different friend with similar powers.

You see, there is a different friend of mine who somehow seems to know about my relationship status without me telling her. There have already been a couple of instances where she has said to me, "hey a little birdy told me you're seeing someone new." Considering that I generally don't put my business out for the general public to see, that's fairly impressive. This goes doubly so for my love life, because I publicize that information even less so. Still, she's always in the know, and she has always managed to find out within days of the information leaking.

Some of you might just consider her a gossip, but let me assure you, there's more to this tale. If that was all that there was to it, I'd just write it off as her being well-connected (and I'd be more careful with what I said). No no, friends, this story has a few more twists than that. You see, she isn't always so quick to learn about my personal life. However, each time that she has pointed this out, the relationship has come to an end shortly thereafter. Like I've said about the other two Litmus Tests, she's got an eerie knack for this sort of thing.

The thought that she might qualify as a third Litmus Test struck me the other day, but then I remembered that she was coming across this information without me telling her. So, instead, I was reminded of the old canary in a coal mine trope (if you're lazy, canaries were once a sort of early detection system for dangerous gases in coal mines). Sure, she has some Litmus Test in her, but the real trick is that she is a good indicator of when the rumor mill has gotten a hold of my personal life. And, apparently, her probing questions are also a good indicator of when things are starting to go sour in  the current relationship. The analogy fit a little too well for me to pass this up as a nickname. And, thus, "The Canary" was born.

All in all, I've decided that my travails with women are amusing as all heck. Even the break ups are a good source of comedy, and I've managed to hand out a couple of interesting nicknames in the process. Good times, I tell you.

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