I was hanging out with a bunch of old friends, and an innocent comment about someone being a good wife kicked off a conversation about relationships in general. The initial premise was that this woman was a good wife because she was willing to watch sports with her husband, even though she didn't necessarily like sports quite as much as her husband. Inevitably, someone cracked a joke about how that must be nice, and he didn't know what that felt like. Soon enough, everyone was laughing, and everyone was chiming in with what they thought was a fair way to handle this particular situation.
Suddenly, though, the conversation took a sharp left turn: seeing as how we were talking about relationships, someone decided to ask me for an update on my relationship status. Now, I generally don't go blabbing my business to everyone. I've said before that my life is an open book (er, tri-fold) to just about anyone who asks, and I meant it. But that doesn't mean that I will volunteer information to people I don't know well just for the heck of it, since I don't really see the point. I've never understood why everyone on Facebook needs to know what I ate for breakfast or where I hang out, for example.
However, these are people that I've known for a while, and I have no qualms about telling them exactly what's going with me. It's just that I don't usually open conversations with, "hey, guess what, guess what?" If and when the topic of my love life comes up, as it inevitably does, I tell my tale. If we're talking about something entirely unrelated, though, I'm not going to draw attention to myself by blurting out anything having to do with Mild Girlfriends or Mild Exes. Best of all, since these are old friends, they have picked up on this habit of mine.
Actually, why don't I just recount the conversation, so you can get the full effect of this:
Friend #1: "So, what's the latest? Are you seeing anyone?"
Litmus Test: "Thank goodness for [Friend #1]. I don't think I'd ever know what was going on with Sam if it weren't for her."
Me: "Haha, you're right, she is definitely the most persistent about keeping tabs."
Friend #1: "Well, I know you don't always volunteer the information unless asked."
Me: "You know me, I'm not going to completely divert the conversation if we're talking about something else."
Litmus Test: "Yeah, I appreciate that you're not trying to be the center of attention and all. That's why we ask."
Friend #1: "And they have to be very specific questions, too."
Litmus Test: "True. Sam doesn't lie, but it's possible to get honest answers that still protect your privacy."
(I start laughing)
Friend #1: "Okay, so, have you gone on any dates recently?"
Me: "Well ..."
Friend #1: "Wait, wait, wait. Let me rephrase that: have you had any meals with women any time recently? Where you paid?"
I had to take a moment to get all of the laughter out of my system at that point. I was getting the lawyer treatment from a non-lawyer, to the point where she had to define what she counted as a date. There was no way I was going to weasel my way out of explaining what was going on with me (not that I would have tried). Better yet, the definition included the fact that I had to pay, so if we split the bill, it didn't count. Or if I treated a friend to a drink because she'd had a rough week, I was wading dangerously close to date territory. All of these nuances were not lost on me, and I couldn't help but chuckle about it all.
Best of all, I'm going to remember this conversation every time someone asks me about my love life, and a mental chuckle is bound to come next. Very specific questions, indeed.
Suddenly, though, the conversation took a sharp left turn: seeing as how we were talking about relationships, someone decided to ask me for an update on my relationship status. Now, I generally don't go blabbing my business to everyone. I've said before that my life is an open book (er, tri-fold) to just about anyone who asks, and I meant it. But that doesn't mean that I will volunteer information to people I don't know well just for the heck of it, since I don't really see the point. I've never understood why everyone on Facebook needs to know what I ate for breakfast or where I hang out, for example.
However, these are people that I've known for a while, and I have no qualms about telling them exactly what's going with me. It's just that I don't usually open conversations with, "hey, guess what, guess what?" If and when the topic of my love life comes up, as it inevitably does, I tell my tale. If we're talking about something entirely unrelated, though, I'm not going to draw attention to myself by blurting out anything having to do with Mild Girlfriends or Mild Exes. Best of all, since these are old friends, they have picked up on this habit of mine.
Actually, why don't I just recount the conversation, so you can get the full effect of this:
Friend #1: "So, what's the latest? Are you seeing anyone?"
Litmus Test: "Thank goodness for [Friend #1]. I don't think I'd ever know what was going on with Sam if it weren't for her."
Me: "Haha, you're right, she is definitely the most persistent about keeping tabs."
Friend #1: "Well, I know you don't always volunteer the information unless asked."
Me: "You know me, I'm not going to completely divert the conversation if we're talking about something else."
Litmus Test: "Yeah, I appreciate that you're not trying to be the center of attention and all. That's why we ask."
Friend #1: "And they have to be very specific questions, too."
Litmus Test: "True. Sam doesn't lie, but it's possible to get honest answers that still protect your privacy."
(I start laughing)
Friend #1: "Okay, so, have you gone on any dates recently?"
Me: "Well ..."
Friend #1: "Wait, wait, wait. Let me rephrase that: have you had any meals with women any time recently? Where you paid?"
I had to take a moment to get all of the laughter out of my system at that point. I was getting the lawyer treatment from a non-lawyer, to the point where she had to define what she counted as a date. There was no way I was going to weasel my way out of explaining what was going on with me (not that I would have tried). Better yet, the definition included the fact that I had to pay, so if we split the bill, it didn't count. Or if I treated a friend to a drink because she'd had a rough week, I was wading dangerously close to date territory. All of these nuances were not lost on me, and I couldn't help but chuckle about it all.
Best of all, I'm going to remember this conversation every time someone asks me about my love life, and a mental chuckle is bound to come next. Very specific questions, indeed.
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