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Phrasing of the Question

At work, we tend to hear about cultural differences a lot, since we work with people from lots of different parts of the world. Even if you've never actually had someone tell you this, you probably understand this on a gut level. People from different cultures eat different foods, have different customs, and even ask about different things when it comes to small talk.

Now, it's all well and good to understand this on a theoretical level, but it gets far more interesting in practice. I remember the first time I visited the Philippines, some of my coworkers there asked me about my love life within an hour or so of meeting me. They were especially interested to hear about the Filipina Mild-Ex, since that was one of their people. It was all sorts of interesting, and pretty amusing all the way around.

More recently, I had some foreign coworkers discuss marriage. One of the guys got engaged recently, and all of the married guys were giving him a hard time. In fact, one of the married women remarked that married men seem to joke, "don't do it, learn from my mistakes" quite often. What made this particularly amusing was that everyone seemed to get in on the act, so that everyone had a good hearty laugh.

Of course, when they start teasing one unmarried guy, they usually start teasing all the other unmarried guys. When it came to my turn, a couple of them asked if I was still single (yes). However, that prompted a rapid-fire set of questions that led to even more laughter: did I even want to get married? What was my plan? Did I have a timeline? (sure, don't have one, nope) This cued quite a bit more laughter at my expense. Now, I'm pretty sure this conversation wouldn't have happened had my coworkers all being second or third generation Americans, but because these folks were still hadn't assimilated American culture, there was more to come. And when it came, it was a doozy.

One of the ladies took a moment to think, then asked, "I know this isn't the right word, but are you ... desperate?" Everybody in the room erupted in laughter at that point. I knew she didn't mean anything malicious by it, but the wording was too perfect for people to keep the laughter in. Honestly, I suspect the laughter was directed as much at her as it was at me. Still, it took a few seconds for everyone to calm down.

In fact, it took me a few seconds to get my own laughter out of the way before I could respond to her with, "no, I don't feel any sense of urgency." Upon hearing the question phrased how she actually meant it, my coworker's face flashed a look of epiphany and a smile. I wasn't the only one to notice, either, because more than one person chuckled at the response. All in all, it was a pretty funny exchange.

All of this led me to the conclusion that other cultures are awesome, as is a good grasp of the English language.

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