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Both Hands

I've mentioned before that often my actions around my house are driven by the munchkins that happen to be walking around. Even simple little things like whether to leave the toilet seat up or down and taking my temperature often involve a little kid. I've actually gotten used to it, and it's not a big deal, but it's changed how I act just a little bit. This time, however, I think someone else might have taken that to the next level for me.

Allow me to explain. I'm very used to little kids wanting to play with the adults in the house (I am no exception to this general attitude), and even more importantly, them wanting to imitate all of the adults. That generally means that I have to be on my best behavior around the kids, so that I don't set a bad example. I don't swear when little ones are around, I make sure to say "please" and "thank you," I excuse myself from the table, and I generally act like a civilized person. They're little things, but kids pick up on them. The more they see you do them, the more they sort of naturally do those things themselves. It's much easier to teach them good habits by example than it is to try to break them of bad habit.

However, this occasionally means that I have to play by little kid rules. For example, most little kids at our house are still learning to eat by themselves, so my mom insists that they be careful with utensils and plates. In particular, she always cautions them to use both hands when drinking out of a glass. There's a much lower probability that they will spill or make a mess that way, and they seem to naturally understand this fact. They internalize it, though, so that they think that everyone drinking out of a glass has to use both hands. Including me. If they see me drinking something, they'll chastise me that I should use both hands. And since I don't want to undo all of my mom's hard work, I have to play along. I have had to use both hands to drink something more times in the last few years than in the last twenty years before that.

All in all, though, it's just a minor inconvenience. It's not like it makes my life harder, it just makes me chuckle whenever it comes up. However, I was recently looking through my mom's "welcome to the daycare" packet, and it included several letters of recommendations. It's a little bit like Yelp reviews, and gives people some idea of what to expect, as well as the comfort that other folks seem to have had a positive experience. I don't even remember why I was looking through the packet; it was probably just idle curiosity. Regardless, I was skimming them, and one of them said something like, "[my mom] does a good job with the kids, and you can see this in how her own kids behave."

Sure, part of me was happy for the compliment, but it took a second for the implications of this to sink in. Think about it: my mom's business was being judged, in part, on how I behaved. Like it or not, I'm part of the brand. Well, hell. That doesn't just involve me using both hands to drink something, that means I have to be an upstanding, polite member of society all the flippin' time. Do you know how much pressure that is? I'm sure it's only a little tiny version of what professional athletes must go through, but still. I'm getting judged by little kids and adults like. So much for my plan to lead a life of crime.

Ultimately, I suppose this is probably a good thing. A little reminder to be a good person never hurt. Still, I can't help but think that this little kid thing sure does make life interesting.

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