Kwai-er 2

Let me start by recapping the story so far:

• There is a word in Cantonese that I've spelled as "kwai." It is an adjective that means, roughly, to be a good son or daughter. It has a lot of connotations of being obedient or doing the family proud, if that helps at all.
• During an exchange with the Mild Ex's mother, she declared me to be "kwai-er" (e.g., more kwai) than the Mild Ex.
• Everyone laughed

Okay, so with that little bit of explanation out of the way, anyone who knows me should realize that this is precisely the sort of thing that would make me chuckle quite a bit. Given a choice, I'd probably throw in during random conversations for even more hilarity. It's a little too perfect to pass up the opportunity: I beat the Mild Ex at her own game (being a good Chinese kid), I actually understood the Chinese, and there was some creative language involved. This should be the source of banter for days.

Note, also, that I kept saying this "should" be the source of banter and that "given a choice," I'd bring up this little anecdote more often. So why don't I? Because Chinese is a tonal language. For those of you who don't know what that means, that means that the intonation of what you say matters as much as the actual syllables you use. It won't just sound weird if you change the rise or drop of tone, you will actually be saying something entirely different.

For example, in Cantonese, if you try to say "obedient" (e.g., kwai) and use the wrong tone, you will instead say "weird." It's a fairly easy mistake to make, particularly if you're not very good with the tones to begin with. And since I am pretty terrible at picking out the various tones, I am always a little hesitant to pull the trigger on throwing that word out there. Ultimately, this means that if I were to try to remind the Mild Ex that I am kwai-er than she is, I am facing a very high-risk, high-reward proposition. If I execute this properly, I will get quite the chuckle; but if I screw up the intonation, I'm digging my own grave.

Now, if this was the only thing I had to worry about, I'd probably take my chances and pull the trigger more often. Even if I screwed it up, there'd be plenty of banter at that point, and much merriment would be had. However, the Mild Ex has noticed this hesitation, and she has taken advantage of this fact. She will pause just a little bit, to make me wonder if I had managed to screw up the tones. As a result, even if I did manage to get the tones right on "kwai," she will make me hesitate and she will end up laughing at me. In short, she cheats.

So now I have a quality joke in my back pocket, and I know for a fact that I can get laughs if I execute it flawlessly. But that path is fraught with danger, and even at the cusp of victory, the Mild Ex holds a final trump card to defeat me. On that path, I dare not tread.

I lead a rough life, I tell you.