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Las Vegas 2016: Overheard

I had to go to Las Vegas for a work conference recently. Yes, everyone gave me all manner of crap for going there for work (I think my favorite version of that involved the words "poor baby"). Still, that was all before the trip even started. Sure, it was funny, but it didn't even hold a candle to the things that came out of people's mouths during the trip.

Now, some of you might be thinking that posting funny things that people said in Vegas is cheating. All of these comments were from people who were sober. They were not the result of a long night of drinking, nor were they uttered while a scantily clad person distracted the person. Nope, this was all stuff that people had no excuse for. The location and its reputation for debauchery had nothing to do with all this.

So, without further ado, I present a small collection of things that people said on this trip:

  • Kid: "They should make a building for children and adults that has all the medicine in it."
    Mom: "Um, they do. It's called Walgreens."
    Kid: "How was I supposed to know that???"

    This gem happened while I was on the shuttle to the airport. There was a lady who was feeling sick, and she was chatting with another lady. The second lady's daughter chimed in at that point with that gem. Mind you, she was probably about 10 years old, so I say she's fair game.
  • Coworker: "Oh, my wife flew in today."
    Me: "Cool. Is she staying at the same hotel?"
    Coworker: "Um, she's my wife. She's staying with me."

    I have no idea what possessed me in that moment, but you should have seen the look of disbelief on this guy's face. I immediately realized that I had asked a stupid question, and we both had a good laugh about it. Remember, this was me stone cold sober (though I was feeling a little tired from the day's work).
  • Driver: "Honey, don't step back or you'll get SQUASHED."

    During that same shuttle ride, the driver kept up an ongoing commentary with himself. He wasn't muttering, since I heard him from a few rows back. However, he wasn't talking to the passengers, he was just discussing the general state of affairs as he drove. In this particular case, a woman was about two feet from the edge of the curb, with her back to traffic. She was in the middle of taking a picture or something, but I doubt she was going to suddenly step out into traffic. Still, our driver felt the need to warn her so that she didn't get SQUASHED.
  • Employee #1: "I can't believe you told the HR person about that."
    Employee #2: "It really happened!"
    Employee #1: "Yeah, but did you really have to tell the story of the Uber driver turned would-be pimp in front of HR?"

    Okay, so maybe this one was a result of the location. Either way, the first person needed a ride, and he mentioned that he was in town for a conference. With lots of sales people and customers. I like to imagine that the Uber driver's eyes lit up right before trying to convince him that there was an "interesting" way to spend his money. My favorite part, though, was that he told this story when an HR person was around. I suspect he might get a phone call when he gets back to the office.
  So, as you can see, this last work trip led to some awfully interesting banter. I may have to go back next year. Y'know, for the banter.

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