Chinese Food

Most everyone I know enjoys Chinese food of some sort. Sure, you may not like every single dish, but there's usually something that you enjoy. Maybe it's as simple as broccoli with beef, or maybe you like something like Mapo tofu (one of my personal favorites). Either way, there's usually something on the menu for everyone.

Heck, I even know folks who like the highly Americanized, fake-Chinese food. Now, if you don't quite know the difference, maybe an analogy with Mexican food will help:

If you don't already know what "chingaderas" mean, don't look it up at work

Basically, the stuff that is often sold commercially has been drastically, drastically altered in order to sell. In the example above, real tacos don't have nearly as much seasoning as the commercial versions. Similarly, the tortillas are a vessel for eating your food, not an invitation for 3-D food sculptures.

Chinese food suffers from the very same alteration. There is no such thing as "lemon chicken" in an actual, honest-to-God Chinese home. That's just something restaurants out here made up to try to get more business. I don't personally enjoy that dish all that much, but if someone else does, so be it. In fact, if someone were to hypothetically travel with me to Hong Kong, and then hypothetically ask for lemon chicken, I would merely roll my eyes. Hypothetically speaking, of course.

My point, though, is that Chinese food sells. There are lots of restaurants that sell that kind of food, and most of them do well enough. Even the hole in the wall type spots tend to make enough business to stay afloat for years. In fact, there's a special kind of fun in finding a local Chinese spot that you can frequent. It doesn't have to be high quality food, it just has to hit the spot when you're craving Chinese food. There's something about that kind of cuisine, I suppose.

With that as the back drop, the Mild Fiancée and I spotted a Chinese restaurant near our place when we moved in. We both looked at each other and more or less agreed to keep it in mind for the next time we felt like take out Chinese food. However, in the time we've lived here, I haven't seen anyone go in there. It's not like I watch that entrance like a hawk, but you figure the odds would favor that I'd see someone walk in there eventually. That, however, is not the case. Morning, day, or night, it doesn't matter when I walk or drive by. I just don't see people go in there. Also, all of the windows are boarded up.

I did walk by once and see a lady in waiter garb just staring out the window, though. Notably, she was standing between the shades and the window/door. So, even though she was just staring into space, we could not look inside. Even in this particularly weird scenario, there was still zero hint of customers inside the restaurant.

It's gotten to the point where the Mild Fiancée joke that there must be some other business going on there. Of course, this leads to a dilemma: do we try it to verify that they do in fact serve food? Or do we stay far, far away? Chinese food is complicated.