Let's start today's post with a fact: I don't wear make up. That may be a strange opening line, but I mention it so that it's clear that I have zero first-hand experience with the stuff. The little knowledge that I do have comes from overhearing some video that the Mild Fiancée is watching. So take everything that comes after this with a grain of salt.
Okay, with that disclaimer out of the way, I have actually learned a few things about make up over the course of this relationship. Some of it is really easy to remember, because it's led to some interesting discussions. Guys, if I asked you whether primer or foundation goes on first, would you know? My female cousins and friends immediately know that it's primer, but the really amusing part is that half the time, they scoff at the fact that a guy wouldn't know. I mean, it's called "primer," for crying out loud. Whenever you paint something, you put the primer on first. Of course, after the guys politely point out that whenever you build a structure (e.g., a house), you build the foundation first, the guys get cut a little more slack. Both of those words basically translate to "do this part first."
Other times, I've actually seen the Mild Fiancée use, or talk about, a particular product. For example, she's trying to figure out how she wants her make up done for the actual wedding, so she's been sampling various different products. One of those products was a "setting spray" (I tried to find a link to a simple explanation, but I was unsuccessful). Basically, it's something you spray on your face after you're done applying your make up. It's meant to be the very last step, so that everything stays the same (it "sets"). You can imagine that this might be useful for an hours-long event like a wedding.
Now, those two factoids above are roughly the extent of my knowledge. It's not like I'd be able to apply the Mild Fiancée's makeup correctly (there are apparently YouTube videos of this with hilarious results). However, those two facts were enough for a third bit of hilarity.
As it turns out, one of the products that the Mild Fiancée is sampling is something called a "beauty elixir." It purports to be both a primer and a setting spray. Again, I don't know tons about makeup. I have no experience in using or applying these products. BUT ... I am highly skeptical of any product that says that it can simultaneously be the very first item you use AND the very last item you use. There's a reason those are different steps, and I'm roughly 80% sure that you can't just substitute one product for the other. I wouldn't try to use paint primer as a final coat of paint, you know?
Yet, that's exactly what this stuff says you can do. It is so magical, that you can either use it as the first thing or the last thing, and it will work just as well in either scenario. Somehow, it just knows whether to act as a blank canvas or to keep everything from changing, depending on when you apply it.
Shenanigans, I say. I may not know much about makeup, but I'm pretty sure that's not how it's supposed to work. Shenanigans.
Okay, with that disclaimer out of the way, I have actually learned a few things about make up over the course of this relationship. Some of it is really easy to remember, because it's led to some interesting discussions. Guys, if I asked you whether primer or foundation goes on first, would you know? My female cousins and friends immediately know that it's primer, but the really amusing part is that half the time, they scoff at the fact that a guy wouldn't know. I mean, it's called "primer," for crying out loud. Whenever you paint something, you put the primer on first. Of course, after the guys politely point out that whenever you build a structure (e.g., a house), you build the foundation first, the guys get cut a little more slack. Both of those words basically translate to "do this part first."
Other times, I've actually seen the Mild Fiancée use, or talk about, a particular product. For example, she's trying to figure out how she wants her make up done for the actual wedding, so she's been sampling various different products. One of those products was a "setting spray" (I tried to find a link to a simple explanation, but I was unsuccessful). Basically, it's something you spray on your face after you're done applying your make up. It's meant to be the very last step, so that everything stays the same (it "sets"). You can imagine that this might be useful for an hours-long event like a wedding.
Now, those two factoids above are roughly the extent of my knowledge. It's not like I'd be able to apply the Mild Fiancée's makeup correctly (there are apparently YouTube videos of this with hilarious results). However, those two facts were enough for a third bit of hilarity.
As it turns out, one of the products that the Mild Fiancée is sampling is something called a "beauty elixir." It purports to be both a primer and a setting spray. Again, I don't know tons about makeup. I have no experience in using or applying these products. BUT ... I am highly skeptical of any product that says that it can simultaneously be the very first item you use AND the very last item you use. There's a reason those are different steps, and I'm roughly 80% sure that you can't just substitute one product for the other. I wouldn't try to use paint primer as a final coat of paint, you know?
Yet, that's exactly what this stuff says you can do. It is so magical, that you can either use it as the first thing or the last thing, and it will work just as well in either scenario. Somehow, it just knows whether to act as a blank canvas or to keep everything from changing, depending on when you apply it.
Shenanigans, I say. I may not know much about makeup, but I'm pretty sure that's not how it's supposed to work. Shenanigans.
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