So, I was home alone one day. This was not a particularly special day, it was just another weekend. It's not like we're talking about Christmas or a new member of the family or something. No, it was just another weekend, like any other. The only real difference on this particular day was that I was by myself in the house.
Now, I had to do chores around the house. The first thing I was focusing on was laundry, so I threw a load into the wash. Everything was going well, and I was multi-tasking so that I could do some writing while I waited for the laundry to finish. Of course, washing the clothes is only the first half of the chore, so I had to throw that load of laundry into the dryer. I also had a second load of laundry to do, so I decided to multi-task. I threw the second load of laundry into the washer, and moved the first load into the dryer.
Yes, I know that everyone does this. It's more or less standard practice. But you can't help but feel a little bit productive when you pull off this little trick. You just saved yourself a little bit of time, after all. So, emboldened by my modicum of success, I decided to head outside to the back yard. There were plants back there to water, after all.
So, I opened the door to the backyard, and headed back there to water the plants. Two seconds later, I realized that I needed something from inside the house. I turned around, grabbed the door handle, and turned the knob. As if by magic, the door knob wouldn't turn. Somehow, the door was locked. I am 1000% positive that I did not lock the door behind me (why the heck would I do that?), but somehow, it was locked. Remember, I had opened that very door to get outside. So at some point, it must've been unlocked. Then, two seconds later, that door was locked.
As mystifying as those facts were, I still had a very tactical problem: I was outdoors, on the wrong side of a locked door. I have a habit of keeping keys in my pocket, just in case. However, I'm fairly certain that nobody keeps the key to their back door on a key ring. Still, hoping against hope, I tried the keys on my ring. And no such luck.
Well, that was a bummer. Remember, I was still home alone. I didn't expect anyone home for pretty much forever, so I was on my own to solve this problem. Either that, or I'd have to call a locksmith or something. That seemed like a real hassle, so I decided to try to solve this problem on my own first.
And that's when I noticed the pole. It was a load-bearing structure, so it was connected to the second story balcony. The same second story balcony that frequently has an unlocked door to the house. I looked around, weighed my options, and then decided to try my American Ninja Warrior skills. I had to shimmy up the pole, do a pull up to get myself above the floor of the balcony, get my feet on a ledge, and then hop over the railing. Did I mention that I hadn't worked out in a while?
Adrenaline is a funny thing. When your back is up against the wall, you can surprise yourself. Apparently I had enough adrenaline coursing through me to get me up there. Luckily for me, the door to the house was unlocked. How much would it have sucked if I did all that and then the door was locked?
Of course, I had to wade through some chairs and some other items stacked up near that door. By that point, though, I would've happily bull rushed through all of those items. Still, I couldn't help but laugh at myself. I joke about being a ninja all the time, but this time I had to put my money where my mouth was. Apparently, I have just enough ninja skills to break into my own house.
Now, I had to do chores around the house. The first thing I was focusing on was laundry, so I threw a load into the wash. Everything was going well, and I was multi-tasking so that I could do some writing while I waited for the laundry to finish. Of course, washing the clothes is only the first half of the chore, so I had to throw that load of laundry into the dryer. I also had a second load of laundry to do, so I decided to multi-task. I threw the second load of laundry into the washer, and moved the first load into the dryer.
Yes, I know that everyone does this. It's more or less standard practice. But you can't help but feel a little bit productive when you pull off this little trick. You just saved yourself a little bit of time, after all. So, emboldened by my modicum of success, I decided to head outside to the back yard. There were plants back there to water, after all.
So, I opened the door to the backyard, and headed back there to water the plants. Two seconds later, I realized that I needed something from inside the house. I turned around, grabbed the door handle, and turned the knob. As if by magic, the door knob wouldn't turn. Somehow, the door was locked. I am 1000% positive that I did not lock the door behind me (why the heck would I do that?), but somehow, it was locked. Remember, I had opened that very door to get outside. So at some point, it must've been unlocked. Then, two seconds later, that door was locked.
As mystifying as those facts were, I still had a very tactical problem: I was outdoors, on the wrong side of a locked door. I have a habit of keeping keys in my pocket, just in case. However, I'm fairly certain that nobody keeps the key to their back door on a key ring. Still, hoping against hope, I tried the keys on my ring. And no such luck.
Well, that was a bummer. Remember, I was still home alone. I didn't expect anyone home for pretty much forever, so I was on my own to solve this problem. Either that, or I'd have to call a locksmith or something. That seemed like a real hassle, so I decided to try to solve this problem on my own first.
And that's when I noticed the pole. It was a load-bearing structure, so it was connected to the second story balcony. The same second story balcony that frequently has an unlocked door to the house. I looked around, weighed my options, and then decided to try my American Ninja Warrior skills. I had to shimmy up the pole, do a pull up to get myself above the floor of the balcony, get my feet on a ledge, and then hop over the railing. Did I mention that I hadn't worked out in a while?
Adrenaline is a funny thing. When your back is up against the wall, you can surprise yourself. Apparently I had enough adrenaline coursing through me to get me up there. Luckily for me, the door to the house was unlocked. How much would it have sucked if I did all that and then the door was locked?
Of course, I had to wade through some chairs and some other items stacked up near that door. By that point, though, I would've happily bull rushed through all of those items. Still, I couldn't help but laugh at myself. I joke about being a ninja all the time, but this time I had to put my money where my mouth was. Apparently, I have just enough ninja skills to break into my own house.
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