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Baby Juice

One of the more interesting things that I've noticed as I've gotten older is that parents control what their children eat. For example, most parents try to limit the amount of sugar that their kids consume. Sugar tends to make kids really hyper, so it's just best for everyone involved if they don't eat enough of it that they start bouncing off the walls.

In that spirit, one of the tricks that I've often seen employed is to water down juice. Some of the juice that you buy is just teeming with sugar. I occasionally check the nutritional information for these things, and I was surprised by just how many grams of sugar there are in a serving. It's not quite bouncing-off-the-walls high, but it's high enough that I did a double-take the first time I noticed it.

I don't have any recollection of this happening to us as kids, but it's entirely possible that my folks were just really good about hiding their tracks. Or that I was entirely oblivious to the whole process. Either way, I remember being surprised when I saw the watering down for the first time. Notably, it's usually done for really young kids (the ones that I call "munchkins"), so I've come to dub it "baby juice."

However, there are other situations when it make sense to consume Baby Juice. Pretend for a moment that you are a fully-grown adult who is fighting off a cold. The vitamin C in orange juice tends to do you good, so it's a good idea to drink the juice. You should also drink plenty of liquids, so water is high on your priority list. Sugar, however, is less important. It really doesn't do you much good in that scenario. Taking all of those facts together, Baby Juice is a convenient way to make sure you maximize your vitamin consumption, increase your liquid intake, and minimize your sugar intake.

I know all of this because I was that hypothetical adult. The Mild Fiancée fed me Baby Juice when I was feeling sick, and I was cracking up the whole time. I may or may not have also complained about it once or twice. Talk about a new twist on "sick juice."

Still, the funniest part of this whole thing came when I was mostly recovered from a different cold (it's been a rough season in terms of illness). We had made brunch for the both of us, and the Mild Fiancée decided to make herself a mimosa. I, however, could not have one, since I was technically recovering. She insisted I needed juice and water. Well, I managed to talk her into putting some liquor in my Baby Juice, so I ended up with something resembling a Whiskey Sour or a Hot Toddy.

Baby Juice, indeed.

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