I've mentioned more than once on this blog that I get up really early during the work week. This leads to all sorts of shenanigans, from having to tip-toe into a bedroom to being mistaken for a car thief. It's just one of those things that leads to amusing stories.
If you think about it, it should come as no surprise. I have just woken up, so I'm very likely to be operating at less than optimal levels. It is usually dark at that hour without any sort of natural light, and I can't just go traipsing through the house for fear of waking other people up. So, a groggy person wakes up, has to navigate a dark environment, and can't make any noise. Doesn't that sound like the perfect set up for some slapstick?
So, let me add to the list of amusing stories. In this particular case, it has to do with my "countermeasures" to this hilarity. You see, I am more than aware that I have to get dressed in the dark. It's not the sort of thing you forget about after about the second or third time you have to do it. To my credit, though, I've developed a system that lets me deal with this: I just hang my outfit for the next day on a single hanger. Shirt, belt, pants, all of it goes on a single hanger.
It's not exactly a genius system, but I just need it to be functional at the crack of dawn. I don't have to think at all, I just grab what's on the hanger, and put that on. Better yet, I put the clothes I need on the hanger on the end, so all I have to do is grab the clothes that are closest to the end. There's no thinking involved, and it's a simple enough task that I can manage it when there's little light. Better yet, I can handle it quietly in the morning. I would not want to wake the Mild Wife every morning to put on a shirt.
Now, I wouldn't be writing about this if everything went smoothly 100% of the time. Every now and then, there is a hiccup in the system. You can actually catch a hint of it in the picture above. You see, I will do this for two or three days' worth of outfits. I am capable of ironing more than one shirt or pair of pants at a time, so I do. Then during the week, I just grab whatever's on the end, and I go to work. However, this efficiency comes at a price: multiple hangers introduce the possibility for human error: I can accidentally grab the wrong hanger.
It's not a problem if I just grab the wrong hanger altogether, that would just mean that I wear a different outfit than planned. No, the problem is if I grab the wrong hanger in the middle of getting dressed. Imagine if I were to grab the shirt from one hanger and the pants from a different one. Yeah, I might end up wearing something in a really garish combination. I'm not exactly a huge fashion icon, but I don't want someone to question whether I own a mirror, you know? And that, friends, is the rub.
On a few occasions, I have gotten dressed and then stepped out in to the light of the kitchen only to realize that I grabbed the wrong hanger. Luckily it doesn't happen too often, since it involves just the right combination of hand-eye coordination mishaps, but it has happened recently. All I can really do it look down, laugh at myself, and head back in to the closet to get things in order.
Let's just hope I never make it out of the house while wearing one of these mismatched combinations.
If you think about it, it should come as no surprise. I have just woken up, so I'm very likely to be operating at less than optimal levels. It is usually dark at that hour without any sort of natural light, and I can't just go traipsing through the house for fear of waking other people up. So, a groggy person wakes up, has to navigate a dark environment, and can't make any noise. Doesn't that sound like the perfect set up for some slapstick?
So, let me add to the list of amusing stories. In this particular case, it has to do with my "countermeasures" to this hilarity. You see, I am more than aware that I have to get dressed in the dark. It's not the sort of thing you forget about after about the second or third time you have to do it. To my credit, though, I've developed a system that lets me deal with this: I just hang my outfit for the next day on a single hanger. Shirt, belt, pants, all of it goes on a single hanger.
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Now, I wouldn't be writing about this if everything went smoothly 100% of the time. Every now and then, there is a hiccup in the system. You can actually catch a hint of it in the picture above. You see, I will do this for two or three days' worth of outfits. I am capable of ironing more than one shirt or pair of pants at a time, so I do. Then during the week, I just grab whatever's on the end, and I go to work. However, this efficiency comes at a price: multiple hangers introduce the possibility for human error: I can accidentally grab the wrong hanger.
It's not a problem if I just grab the wrong hanger altogether, that would just mean that I wear a different outfit than planned. No, the problem is if I grab the wrong hanger in the middle of getting dressed. Imagine if I were to grab the shirt from one hanger and the pants from a different one. Yeah, I might end up wearing something in a really garish combination. I'm not exactly a huge fashion icon, but I don't want someone to question whether I own a mirror, you know? And that, friends, is the rub.
On a few occasions, I have gotten dressed and then stepped out in to the light of the kitchen only to realize that I grabbed the wrong hanger. Luckily it doesn't happen too often, since it involves just the right combination of hand-eye coordination mishaps, but it has happened recently. All I can really do it look down, laugh at myself, and head back in to the closet to get things in order.
Let's just hope I never make it out of the house while wearing one of these mismatched combinations.
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