Coffee is an interesting beverage to me. I actually went most of my life without drinking it, so I don't have a long history with it. Still, in the few short years that it has been a thing in my life, it's led to some interesting, and therefore amusing, stories. This happens to be one of them.
I should probably start by mentioning that I mostly started drinking coffee around the time that the Mild Wife and I got together. The reason was fairly simple: she likes it, so we had more of it around. Prior to that, I used to mostly drink water, tea, juice, or the occasional soda. Still, the Mild Wife enjoys her coffee, so we started having more of it together. In theory, this should've been simple, but it led to quite a few laughs.
The first amusing bit was me trying to learn how to make the coffee. You see, I wasn't familiar with the whole world of coffee, so trying to internalize what filters, pour over drippers, and mocha pots do was a bit of a struggle at first. If had at least seen it done once before, I would've had some sort of a grounding on what needed to happen. Alas, that was not the case, so I was starting from scratch. The Mild Wife was patient with me, but I remember asking a lot of questions.
Next up, was the matter of how I drank the ensuing beverage. Again, my lack of familiarity with the world of coffee showed. You know those people that walk into a coffee shop and recite a paragraph as their order (it often involves the exact temperature at which some component of their concoction needs to be served)? Yeah, I'm not one of those people. Even if I wanted to do that, I simply don't have the requisite knowledge of the coffee world to pull that off. I couldn't tell you what half of the drinks are ("frapuchino" is not really a word in my vocabulary), let alone how to make them. As a result, I generally just drink my coffee plain. I don't generally put sugar or cream in it; I just drink it black.
Given my general lack of a sweet tooth, that tends to work out pretty well for me. I get the flavor of the coffee, but I skip all of the sugar and dessert-like add-ons. I know that some folks find this a bit too bitter for their tastes, but I have partaken in drinking alcohol, so it's not like the concept of a bitter drink is foreign to me. All in all, it works out just fine.
There is, however, one exception to this rule. Every so often, I will decide that I want milk with my coffee (similar to a latte). For some reason, however, my brain immediately takes this to mean that I want the taste of the coffee, but I don't necessarily need the jolt of caffeine. The end result is that the proportions are surprisingly low on coffee. Instead of a cup that is mostly coffee with a bit of milk in it, I end up serving myself a cup that is mostly milk with a bit of coffee in it. This still gives me the flavor that I've come to enjoy, but it doesn't necessarily flood my body with caffeine on mornings when I'm already alert. The Mild Wife has noticed this, and the term "latte" has come to mean something quite distinct in our household.
This led to the amusing bit in all of this, and the punchline that prompted the title of this post. During a recent outing with my brother, I was describing the way I drink my coffee, and he proclaimed that rather than make "coffee with milk" I instead prepare "coffee-flavored milk." Well, yeah, that's an accurate description of my drink. I'll own that. Of course, I will also do so during a bout of raucous laughter.
I'm going to have to keep drinking my coffee this way, if for no other reason than I am going to chuckle every time I have a sip.
I should probably start by mentioning that I mostly started drinking coffee around the time that the Mild Wife and I got together. The reason was fairly simple: she likes it, so we had more of it around. Prior to that, I used to mostly drink water, tea, juice, or the occasional soda. Still, the Mild Wife enjoys her coffee, so we started having more of it together. In theory, this should've been simple, but it led to quite a few laughs.
The first amusing bit was me trying to learn how to make the coffee. You see, I wasn't familiar with the whole world of coffee, so trying to internalize what filters, pour over drippers, and mocha pots do was a bit of a struggle at first. If had at least seen it done once before, I would've had some sort of a grounding on what needed to happen. Alas, that was not the case, so I was starting from scratch. The Mild Wife was patient with me, but I remember asking a lot of questions.
Next up, was the matter of how I drank the ensuing beverage. Again, my lack of familiarity with the world of coffee showed. You know those people that walk into a coffee shop and recite a paragraph as their order (it often involves the exact temperature at which some component of their concoction needs to be served)? Yeah, I'm not one of those people. Even if I wanted to do that, I simply don't have the requisite knowledge of the coffee world to pull that off. I couldn't tell you what half of the drinks are ("frapuchino" is not really a word in my vocabulary), let alone how to make them. As a result, I generally just drink my coffee plain. I don't generally put sugar or cream in it; I just drink it black.
Given my general lack of a sweet tooth, that tends to work out pretty well for me. I get the flavor of the coffee, but I skip all of the sugar and dessert-like add-ons. I know that some folks find this a bit too bitter for their tastes, but I have partaken in drinking alcohol, so it's not like the concept of a bitter drink is foreign to me. All in all, it works out just fine.
There is, however, one exception to this rule. Every so often, I will decide that I want milk with my coffee (similar to a latte). For some reason, however, my brain immediately takes this to mean that I want the taste of the coffee, but I don't necessarily need the jolt of caffeine. The end result is that the proportions are surprisingly low on coffee. Instead of a cup that is mostly coffee with a bit of milk in it, I end up serving myself a cup that is mostly milk with a bit of coffee in it. This still gives me the flavor that I've come to enjoy, but it doesn't necessarily flood my body with caffeine on mornings when I'm already alert. The Mild Wife has noticed this, and the term "latte" has come to mean something quite distinct in our household.
This led to the amusing bit in all of this, and the punchline that prompted the title of this post. During a recent outing with my brother, I was describing the way I drink my coffee, and he proclaimed that rather than make "coffee with milk" I instead prepare "coffee-flavored milk." Well, yeah, that's an accurate description of my drink. I'll own that. Of course, I will also do so during a bout of raucous laughter.
I'm going to have to keep drinking my coffee this way, if for no other reason than I am going to chuckle every time I have a sip.
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