I'm not entirely sure how it happened, but I think I've become a health nut. It was a gradual descent into madness, to be sure, but it happened nevertheless. Somehow, I went from being the kid who'd eat anything (did you know the 5 second rule applies on the beach?) to being the guy who washed his organic apple before biting into it.
I blame three people, really: the guy who I used to take kickboxing with, Michael Pollan, and my mother. Had it not been for them, I probably wouldn't be in the predicament in which I currently find myself. With apologies to Robert Frost, I should've taken the path more traveled. *sigh*
Anyhow, I think the first sign of my impending fall was that I started taking a CrossFit class. Now, it's not a full-blown CrossFit class, because the gym people would have a heart attack if they saw me bailing out on a lift/snatch. They're really big on safety at work, so they'd frown upon that kind of a workout. Also, legit CrossFit workouts tend to take up a lot of space & usually require multiple pieces of equipment, so that's another couple of strikes against the full-blown class.
Still, I started taking this class, and it helped my endurance & stamina tremendously. I'm not saying I'm a cardio freak or anything, but it got me in better shape. It helped enough that when I got dragged along on a 9 mile run (that's a story for another day), I held up halfway decently. I didn't hurt myself, and I wasn't overly sore the next day. This eventually led me to sign up for a half-marathon, to see if I could run the extra 4.1 miles with a little bit of training. In retrospect, the fact that I even went down this road should have been a warning sign. But no, I was sliding down the slippery slope, so I barely noticed it.
It's gotten to the point now that my coworker called me a "gym enthusiast" the other day (I apparently don't qualify for "gym rat" because I tend to do most of my running outdoors). She wasn't kidding, either. So, as far as exercise goes, I've got the health nut part down. It all started with CrossFit. But who got me to start with the CrossFit class? Yup, the guy I used to train with for kickboxing. That's why he's on the "responsible for me being this way" list.
Michael Pollan makes the list because he wrote "Omnivore's Dilemma." It's an intriguing read into what we eat, and how it makes its way onto our dinner tables. I picked up the book at an airport bookshop to read on a business trip, and it ended up convincing me to eat vegetarian part of the time. I won't bore you with the details, but the book does a decent job of explaining how big, corporate-style farms commit all sorts of crimes against nature. The higher up the food chain you go, the worse it gets (the organisms we're talking about can't convert 100% of the calories they intake into energy). What this means is that, in theory, you can help lower your carbon footprint & decrease the crimes against nature by eating veggies instead of meat.
Most of my favorite foods include meat of some sort, so I wasn't about to become a complete vegetarian. Instead, I decided to have two vegetarian meals a week. Breakfast doesn't count because it's too simple to have cereal, and that's not much of a sacrifice. I also decided to do meals instead of an entire day so that I could have the flexibility to go out for meals with other people. I absolutely did not want to be that person who forces everyone to accommodate to their crazy diet restrictions.
Again, it doesn't seem like a big thing: 2 meals out of 14 isn't a very large percentage. But we're talking degrees here, and that decision was one step closer to madness. Translation: Michael Pollan, you just made the shit list.
Lastly, my ma. She went on this big "organic food is the best" kick a while back, and suddenly family meals started looking a little different. Gone was the plain white rice of my younger days. No, instead she'd serve brown rice or even wild rice (that stuff just doesn't look right). Grocery shopping suddenly involved trips to Rainbow, the fruit in the house had all sorts of "look at me, I'm good for the environment" stickers on it, and anything with artificial sweeteners or artificial coloring was suddenly poison in disguise.
Try as I might to resist it, my palette & taste buds were being pansified (pansify - v. to make or accelerate the process of becoming a pansy). I'm amazed I held on for as long as I did, but I was fighting a losing battle. My dear own ma sold me out, too.
All of this brings me to the events of the last couple of days. Yesterday, I brought an (organic) apple to work for my mid-morning snack. Right around 9AM, I pulled out the apple, peeled off the sticker, and then took a bite. It tasted fine, but about halfway through the apple, I started getting thirsty. By the time I finished the apple, my lips were parched. I downed some water, but the feeling lingered for a little while. I didn't think anything of it, but as the morning progressed, my stomach started feeling funny. Yes, the apple had somehow made me feel ill.
To give you a point of reference, I've eaten raw fish in various forms (sushi, ceviche), balut (I'd link to it, but the wikipedia article has pictures you may not like), fried spiders, frog ovaries, guinea pig, and all sorts of other random things. None of that bothered me. I may not have liked all of it, but I ate it without worrying about it doing something funny to my stomach. But thanks to my now-pansified palette, this plain old apple made me worry.
Luckily, the feeling passed. However, I wasn't about to take that chance again this morning. I brought another apple, but I actually took the time to wash it before eating it. I'm not sure I've ever done that before. As I was doing it, the realization struck me: the transformation was complete.
My name is Sam, and I'm a health nut. Pray for me.
I blame three people, really: the guy who I used to take kickboxing with, Michael Pollan, and my mother. Had it not been for them, I probably wouldn't be in the predicament in which I currently find myself. With apologies to Robert Frost, I should've taken the path more traveled. *sigh*
Anyhow, I think the first sign of my impending fall was that I started taking a CrossFit class. Now, it's not a full-blown CrossFit class, because the gym people would have a heart attack if they saw me bailing out on a lift/snatch. They're really big on safety at work, so they'd frown upon that kind of a workout. Also, legit CrossFit workouts tend to take up a lot of space & usually require multiple pieces of equipment, so that's another couple of strikes against the full-blown class.
Still, I started taking this class, and it helped my endurance & stamina tremendously. I'm not saying I'm a cardio freak or anything, but it got me in better shape. It helped enough that when I got dragged along on a 9 mile run (that's a story for another day), I held up halfway decently. I didn't hurt myself, and I wasn't overly sore the next day. This eventually led me to sign up for a half-marathon, to see if I could run the extra 4.1 miles with a little bit of training. In retrospect, the fact that I even went down this road should have been a warning sign. But no, I was sliding down the slippery slope, so I barely noticed it.
It's gotten to the point now that my coworker called me a "gym enthusiast" the other day (I apparently don't qualify for "gym rat" because I tend to do most of my running outdoors). She wasn't kidding, either. So, as far as exercise goes, I've got the health nut part down. It all started with CrossFit. But who got me to start with the CrossFit class? Yup, the guy I used to train with for kickboxing. That's why he's on the "responsible for me being this way" list.
Michael Pollan makes the list because he wrote "Omnivore's Dilemma." It's an intriguing read into what we eat, and how it makes its way onto our dinner tables. I picked up the book at an airport bookshop to read on a business trip, and it ended up convincing me to eat vegetarian part of the time. I won't bore you with the details, but the book does a decent job of explaining how big, corporate-style farms commit all sorts of crimes against nature. The higher up the food chain you go, the worse it gets (the organisms we're talking about can't convert 100% of the calories they intake into energy). What this means is that, in theory, you can help lower your carbon footprint & decrease the crimes against nature by eating veggies instead of meat.
Most of my favorite foods include meat of some sort, so I wasn't about to become a complete vegetarian. Instead, I decided to have two vegetarian meals a week. Breakfast doesn't count because it's too simple to have cereal, and that's not much of a sacrifice. I also decided to do meals instead of an entire day so that I could have the flexibility to go out for meals with other people. I absolutely did not want to be that person who forces everyone to accommodate to their crazy diet restrictions.
Again, it doesn't seem like a big thing: 2 meals out of 14 isn't a very large percentage. But we're talking degrees here, and that decision was one step closer to madness. Translation: Michael Pollan, you just made the shit list.
Lastly, my ma. She went on this big "organic food is the best" kick a while back, and suddenly family meals started looking a little different. Gone was the plain white rice of my younger days. No, instead she'd serve brown rice or even wild rice (that stuff just doesn't look right). Grocery shopping suddenly involved trips to Rainbow, the fruit in the house had all sorts of "look at me, I'm good for the environment" stickers on it, and anything with artificial sweeteners or artificial coloring was suddenly poison in disguise.
Try as I might to resist it, my palette & taste buds were being pansified (pansify - v. to make or accelerate the process of becoming a pansy). I'm amazed I held on for as long as I did, but I was fighting a losing battle. My dear own ma sold me out, too.
All of this brings me to the events of the last couple of days. Yesterday, I brought an (organic) apple to work for my mid-morning snack. Right around 9AM, I pulled out the apple, peeled off the sticker, and then took a bite. It tasted fine, but about halfway through the apple, I started getting thirsty. By the time I finished the apple, my lips were parched. I downed some water, but the feeling lingered for a little while. I didn't think anything of it, but as the morning progressed, my stomach started feeling funny. Yes, the apple had somehow made me feel ill.
To give you a point of reference, I've eaten raw fish in various forms (sushi, ceviche), balut (I'd link to it, but the wikipedia article has pictures you may not like), fried spiders, frog ovaries, guinea pig, and all sorts of other random things. None of that bothered me. I may not have liked all of it, but I ate it without worrying about it doing something funny to my stomach. But thanks to my now-pansified palette, this plain old apple made me worry.
Luckily, the feeling passed. However, I wasn't about to take that chance again this morning. I brought another apple, but I actually took the time to wash it before eating it. I'm not sure I've ever done that before. As I was doing it, the realization struck me: the transformation was complete.
My name is Sam, and I'm a health nut. Pray for me.
Eh, that's just healthy. You're not a health "nut" until you're taking supplements and checking yourself out in the mirror.
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