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Ride of Shame

When it comes to the vanpool, all of the riders are creatures of habit. Sometimes, we get off at a different stop in the afternoon, because we have dinner plans, kids to pick up, classes to attend, or have to be somewhere other than home. The morning is usually far more stable, though. People rarely change where they get on. In all of the time I've been riding, I've seen someone get on at a different stop a handful of times, at most.

What absolutely never happens, though, is someone getting on across town. Until now, that is. This guy about my age (that detail will become important to the tale in a moment, promise) normally hops on somewhere near the Glen Park BART station. On the morning in question, though, he strolls up to the van near the outer sunset. That's a good 20-25 minute drive away, and it's not exactly a straight shot, either.

Odd, but I didn't really say anything. I greeted the guy, and hopped into the back where I usually ride. He, too, opted to ride in the back. Oh, and he told me not to say anything, so that others wouldn't question his choice of stops. Curiouser and curiouser, but sure, I'll play along.

The plan actually worked ... a little too well. When we got to the last pick up spot before leaving the city, someone asked if we had seen him. At that point, he piped up, but that led to a round of questioning about when he got on, why the change, etc. The response was brilliant:

"Oh, I had to go to a friend's house to work on a project ... or something"

Now, I'll cut the guy a tiny bit of slack because it was 6AM, and clearly he'd had a long night. But wow, did that not help with the teasing. I was trying to be good up until that point, but I couldn't resist any longer, so I cracked a few jokes.

Anyhow, the peanut gallery died down & we all settled into our usual routine (read: we all fell asleep). We got to work, and since we work in buildings that are close to each other, we start walking in the same direction. That five minute walk was enough for this second gem:

Me: "No breakfast for you today?"
Him: "Nah, too tired. And I need to shower up first."

I'm amazed I didn't break into a sudden outburst of laughter right then and there. But since I'm mature and all, I managed to contain it in a chuckle & a smirk. I did also warn him that he wasn't making it any easier to keep up the mature act.

To recap: the guy is in his twenties, he got on the van across town, he wanted to keep it quiet, he had a tiring night, he couldn't give a straight answer about where he'd been, and he hadn't showered. Now, I'll let you draw your own conclusions, but mine just happens to be in the title.

Which, incidentally, leads me to the lesson of the story: if you are going to partake in any shenanigans in the middle of the work week, I'd suggest showering/brushing your teeth/changing your shirt/grooming yourself enough that you can at least pretend you went home. It might save you a lot of teasing.

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