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Tri-Fold

I don't quite know what led to this particular outlook on life, but I've been known to say, "my life's an open book if you bother to ask" on more than one occasion. That's not to say that I go around volunteering all sorts of personal information, but I am very candid with others, and I am brutally honest about myself. After all, what better way to keep myself honest (pun intended) is there than remembering that I may have to tell the story about my actions later on?

Well, I repeated my little mantra in front of someone who had never heard it before, and her eyes lit up. You could almost see the twinkle in her eye as she tried to figure out how best to take advantage of this new-found information. The words coming out of her mouth did nothing to dissuade this notion, either (I have some interesting friends, apparently). Still, she immediately started grilling me about the history of Sam Chang.

As the questions kept coming, though, it became pretty obvious that I hardly have a checkered past. Have I ever stolen anything? No. What's the most illegal thing I've done? Probably under-age drinking in college. Have I been in a fist fight? Not since middle school (kickboxing competitions don't count). Have I cheated on a test? Nope. You get the idea; I may be a quirky person, but I'm a law-abiding quirky person for the most part. In something resembling frustration, my friend exclaimed, "no wonder your life's an open book, it's just one of those little pamphlets!" I chuckled a bit at this point, but when she went on in detail to explain that she meant one of those pieces of paper folded in two, I let out a full-on laugh.

What makes this particularly funny is that I am often met with guffaws and disbelieving eyes when I tell people that I'm innocent. For example, I have had all of the following exchanges with people I know:
  • Me: "I don't know what you're trying to imply there. If I didn't know any better, I'd think you were trying to besmirch my character."
    Friend: "Oh, no. I would never do that to a saint like you."
    Friend: "Though on that note of sarcasm, I've got to run ..."

    I held out hope for a brief second there, you know?
  • Me: "I don't think my innocent mind could handle that."
    Friend: "Your innocent mind? Pah"

    I like how people have to invent new words to communicate their disbelief.
  • Me: "Yeah, I was a pretty innocent kid in high school."
    Friend: "You were? What the heck happened to you?!"

    Beats me. Must be the company I keep.
Given all of that background, the pamphlet comment was really, really amusing to me. Better yet, as the conversation continued, my friend changed her mind just a tad, "after thinking about it, I'm upgrading you from bi-fold pamphlet to tri-fold pamphlet."

Awesome, my life is an open tri-fold if you bother to ask.
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