Archeology

As should be fairly obvious by now to anyone who reads regularly, I am around little kids quite a bit. This leads to all manner of hilarity, because little kids are awesome. However, this also means that I have picked up a few mannerisms that help me deal with them in a healthy manner. For starters, I don't swear around them, I make sure to say "please" and "thank you," and I demonstrate what I'm doing around them so they can learn from it. As it turns out, that last one can lead to some pretty amusing results.

You see, I had to dig a hole in the backyard in order to plant some new flowers back there. Normally I would do this when the kids weren't around, but circumstances dictated that I take care of it when the munchkins were around. Luckily, the ones who could reach the area in which I was digging were old enough to avoid falling in. Still, they were very curious about what I was doing, so they came up to me and asked, "what are you doing?" (They keep it simple) Knowing that I would be digging for a while, I explained why I had to dig the hole.

Of course, I should've expected what came next: they asked if they could help. They even had their own plastic shovels that they could offer up to the cause (in hindsight, it reminded me a little bit of a scene from "Lord of the Rings"). Since I had just started, there wasn't much danger in them hurting themselves if they helped. So, I agreed. The plastic shovels couldn't do much in the dirt, so instead I taught them how to use a regular, made-of-metal shovel: press it into the ground, step hard to apply some force, apply leverage to lift the dirt, lift, and dump. They were duly impressed, but they wanted to participate. The only step they could safely manage was to step on the shovel to apply some force, so they took turns doing that. Mind you, I still had to step on the other side of the shovel to apply sufficient downward force, but they had a blast. Also, I was suddenly glad for the "stand on one leg" exercises I've had to do in the gym in the past.

Anyhow, we managed to dig far enough in where it wasn't particularly safe for them to try hopping on one foot near the now-hole. However, the dirt was now soft enough to lift out some dirt using their plastic shovels, so they switched to that task. Some were better than others, but all in all, it worked out well. Well, it worked out well until the hole was big enough that they couldn't realistically reach with their shovels. At that point, I heard laments of, "I can't reach!" (Told you they keep it simple) Well, I had a bigger shovel and I could reach. So, I would scoop out some dirt, lift it up about halfway out of the hole, and hold it in mid-air so that they could then scoop out some dirt out of the hole. This was harder, of course, but it kept everyone happy and productive. I couldn't help but chuckle at the process we'd created. It was inefficient as hell, but way more amusing to all involved.

The fun didn't stop there, though, not by a long shot. If you've never had to dig in your backyard, it's not uncommon to find random items or pieces of items buried back there. Some of these items you'd expect to be there; I wasn't at all surprised to see rocks and roots in the hole. The kids, however, were simply amazed at this turn of events. They would giddily exclaim that they saw something, and then greedily reach for the "magic" rock or root. The larger the rocks were, the bigger the smile that they sported. Other items, however, surprised me. We found random bits of flower pots and plastic as we dug. I made sure none of them were sharp before letting any munchkins touch anything, but then their imaginations took over. According to them, we'd found dinosaur and horse bones. My simple task of digging a hole in my backyard had turned in to an archeology expedition.

All in all, it took a little over half an hour to dig this hole, but I pretty much laughed the whole time. Let me say it one more time, because it's true: little kids are flippin' awesome sometimes.