Before we start today's post, let me remind you of a couple of facts. First, I have a halfway decent memory, and it likes to put me into situations that result in people laughing at me. Secondly, I like to do my share of online shopping. Up until now, those two things have led to funny stories, but they have always been completely unrelated aspects of my life. No more.
See, when I shop for things, I don't always shop for actual items for myself. I have been known to use OpenTable to make reservations at restaurants (occasionally, this can lead to me narrowly avoiding making a fool of myself), to buy tickets for shows through the venue's website, or to have deliveries sent to other people. I'd like to think that all of this is fairly normal, so it happens pretty frequently. In fact, it happens frequently enough that some of the times it happens involves relationships with women; sometimes the restaurant reservations and tickets are for dates, or the deliveries are flowers for a Mild Ex.
I'm sure anyone reading this is familiar enough with some of this, so none of this is particularly novel or amusing. However, many of the times that I use these services, I have to sign up for some sort of a web site first. That means that some company has my information and has a history of my purchases with them. Do you know what companies do with that kind of information? They try to use it to try to sell you more of the same. If you bought a ticket once before, they figure you might do it again. What's more, they like to try to sell you said items by sending you mail and email about it all.
This is where the part about my memory starts to factor in to the story. Getting an email that says, "hey, do you want to go see a show at this venue again?" usually results in my brain responding with something like, "oh, that's where I went on a date with so-and-so." It doesn't matter one bit whether it was a good date, a bad date, whether things ended well with that woman, whether they ended poorly, or even if I still talk to her. Nope, my brain likes to keep the world orderly by making as many associations as possible. It's not even a conscious effort, it's almost a reflexive response.
All of this means that I get all of these emails that remind me of people from my past. Let me tell you, it's a weird experience to be checking your email on a random Tuesday evening only to be shunted back into a failed relationship from several years back. And it happens on a surprisingly frequent basis, since many of these companies are hell-bent on making a buck from my repeat-business.
The absolute worst of this was from a company that actually sent me an email saying, "hey, it's been a while since you've sent flowers to [Mild Ex]. Want to send her some more?" No joke, it actually mentioned her by name. Seriously, what the heck? They have to know that there's the possibility of this happening, and there's no way that I'm the only person to whom this has happened. I'm surprised they didn't get just enough complaints for them to stop this practice. Though at some point, I may just have to stop buying stuff for other people to prevent this from happening.
Oh, and in case you're curious, I elected not to send her flowers.
See, when I shop for things, I don't always shop for actual items for myself. I have been known to use OpenTable to make reservations at restaurants (occasionally, this can lead to me narrowly avoiding making a fool of myself), to buy tickets for shows through the venue's website, or to have deliveries sent to other people. I'd like to think that all of this is fairly normal, so it happens pretty frequently. In fact, it happens frequently enough that some of the times it happens involves relationships with women; sometimes the restaurant reservations and tickets are for dates, or the deliveries are flowers for a Mild Ex.
I'm sure anyone reading this is familiar enough with some of this, so none of this is particularly novel or amusing. However, many of the times that I use these services, I have to sign up for some sort of a web site first. That means that some company has my information and has a history of my purchases with them. Do you know what companies do with that kind of information? They try to use it to try to sell you more of the same. If you bought a ticket once before, they figure you might do it again. What's more, they like to try to sell you said items by sending you mail and email about it all.
This is where the part about my memory starts to factor in to the story. Getting an email that says, "hey, do you want to go see a show at this venue again?" usually results in my brain responding with something like, "oh, that's where I went on a date with so-and-so." It doesn't matter one bit whether it was a good date, a bad date, whether things ended well with that woman, whether they ended poorly, or even if I still talk to her. Nope, my brain likes to keep the world orderly by making as many associations as possible. It's not even a conscious effort, it's almost a reflexive response.
All of this means that I get all of these emails that remind me of people from my past. Let me tell you, it's a weird experience to be checking your email on a random Tuesday evening only to be shunted back into a failed relationship from several years back. And it happens on a surprisingly frequent basis, since many of these companies are hell-bent on making a buck from my repeat-business.
The absolute worst of this was from a company that actually sent me an email saying, "hey, it's been a while since you've sent flowers to [Mild Ex]. Want to send her some more?" No joke, it actually mentioned her by name. Seriously, what the heck? They have to know that there's the possibility of this happening, and there's no way that I'm the only person to whom this has happened. I'm surprised they didn't get just enough complaints for them to stop this practice. Though at some point, I may just have to stop buying stuff for other people to prevent this from happening.
Oh, and in case you're curious, I elected not to send her flowers.
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