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Judging a Book By Its Cover

I was told that I would be in the bridal party for an upcoming wedding, so I had to get measured for a tuxedo. The bride & groom registered (is that even the correct verb?) at the Men's Wearhouse, so I decided to take care of it while running a bunch of other errands. That meant that a) I was dressed casually, in jeans and a t-shirt, and b) the results were funnier than expected.

I walked in to the store, and looked around for someone who could help. It's not like I was there to window shop, so I figured I'd find the customer service counter and go from there. That counter looked like it was busy, though, so I just waited. Also, I had just gotten a text message about something that was pertinent to the tuxedo process (read: the group number for the bridal party), so I was slightly distracted.

Now, there was a small group of sales people hanging out near the front of the store. They were probably about ten feet away from me, but they more or less ignored me at first. After a few minutes of me not going away, one of the ladies eventually deigned to ask me if I needed help. I told her what I needed, and she said that she could help me at the counter at the second, empty register.

You know that tone that patronizing tone of voice people get when they have to deal with an absolute newbie? She seemed to have that in her voice. After all, I looked young, I was dressed down, and at first impression, I wasn't very assertive.

Luckily for me, I am very good at spitting back a "don't kid yourself" tone in my voice, so I subconsciously slipped into that. I knew the answers to all of her questions, and I made the process fairly easy for her. It didn't hurt that as she was taking my measurements, I knew things like what my usual collar size and sleeve length were. Basically, I acted like a legitimate customer who had actual business in that store. Magically, the patronizing tone disappeared, and she became friendly. Heck, she even commented that she used to live right around the corner from me.  Let's just say that I was slightly amused by the turn of events.

Funnily enough, I've noticed that this sort of thing happens to me quite often; my sister claims I look "homeless" at times, and another friend says I look like someone who doesn't make much money. It cracks me up every time, though, so I always have a little bit of fun with it. When I was in London visiting a friend a few years back, I stopped in Harrods to do some window shopping. It was early December, so it was raining off and on, and I had on a thick coat and a beanie to ward off the rain. I opened up the coat as soon as I got inside, but I got lazy and I left the beanie on. Unbeknownst to me, this marked me as a hoodlum.

Actually, I wouldn't have even known anything was wrong, until I noticed that one of the sales people was following me. It's not like I was acting suspiciously, I was just looking at the merchandise. Every now & then, I'd pick something up to take a closer look at it, but it's not like I was looking around nervously or wandering into corners of the store.

The way it was set up, each sales person had an assigned area. The sales areas are pretty obviously delineated, so I knew exactly where this guy was supposed to watch. Given that, I figured I'd get him his morning exercise. I walked to every single corner of his area, and did a loop, just for kicks. Sure enough, he followed "discreetly" behind me the whole way. I left without buying anything from his section, but I did end up buying something later from a different section. I was very, very tempted to walk back through his area with the bag in prominent display.

My absolute favorite example of this, though, was at the airport. I had to travel for work, and I had to be on a fairly early flight (6AM). Given the colder weather at that hour, I had a sweatshirt and a baseball cap on. Surprisingly, security gave me a hard time about my sweatshirt. I think they were bored, since I couldn't have hidden anything in the sweatshirt very easily. Put it this way: you could probably make a decent guess about how much I weighed even with the sweatshirt on.

With that little inconvenience out of the way, I walked to my gate. When they started boarding, I walked up to the line. It was early and there weren't any other people around, so I just strolled up to the front of the line. That prompted the following exchange:

Gate Person: Sorry, this is business class
(I silently hand him my ticket)
Gate Person: Oh ... uh, welcome aboard, sir

You should've seen the look on his face, it was priceless. He even had to put on that fake customer service smile to make up for the fact that he'd made a faux pas. I was laughing all the way to my seat.

So given all of that, I've come to a few conclusions:

  • That whole adage about judging a book by its cover is especially pertinent for sales/service people.
  • Talking to someone is a pretty good way of determining whether they are worth your time or not.  Also, I seem to talk a good game.
  • I really, really enjoy dressing down in places where it is not required but expected amongst the clientele. It's like being a smartass through my wardrobe.

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