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I Can Fix That for You

You know those stalls in the middle of the passageways of malls? I am suddenly not a fan of those.

On my latest trip to the mall, I was walking back to my car. I hadn't taken very long to do my shopping, so I was taking my time strolling back to my vehicle. In line with my happy-go-lucky gait, I was randomly looking over at the stalls as I walked by. I had zero intention of buying anything, so I didn't actually stop in front of any of them. Instead, I just perused the wares as I walked by. It was harmless, and it satisfied my curiosity.

The very last one standing between me and my car seemed uninteresting, so I more or less ignored it. In hindsight, this piece of information may have been valuable. Still, it was done. As it was, one of the salespeople decided that my passing by the stall was not acceptable. I was well past the stall when she asked for a second of my time:

Sales Person: "Excuse me, do you have a second?"
Me: "Sorry, I have to run." (yes, this was a white lie. I figured it was easier than explaining that I wanted to part with exactly 0 of my net worth at this point)
Sales Person: "Let me just ask you one quick question. What do you use to wash your face?"

Now, at this point, I more or less gathered that she wanted to hawk some sort of lotion or face wash or something. I generally don't pay much attention to these sorts of things, for a couple of reasons. For one, I'm a guy. For another, I find that the inevitable sweat from working out is usually good enough to keep my skin from doing anything strange. Given that, I knew that I had no interest in what she wanted to sell to me. Hoping to convey that in a few words, I responded with the following:

Me: "Heh, just soap"

My thinking was that if I made it obvious that a simple soap is good enough for me, she'd realize that I wasn't particularly interested. Even now, I don't think it was a bad way to communicate my intentions.

The part that followed, however, surprised me:

Sales Person: "Well, if you'll just give me two seconds, let me give you a free sample. It'll help with *that*" (points in the general direction of my face)

Incidentally, this was the point at which knowing what she was selling would have been useful. If I told her I already had whatever brand she was trying to sell, there would have been less of a discussion. My response would've boiled down to, "oh, I already have that one. Thanks, though." Problem solved. Alas, this was not to be.

Anyhow, I really didn't want to deal with her. I repeated that I had to run, and then I walked away. Then thirty seconds passed, and the actual words she said sunk in. I'm sorry, what? Was there something seriously wrong with my face to which I'd been completely oblivious? Did I have something on my face that I hadn't noticed? I was feeling a genuine mixture of confusion and intrigue, wrapped in a thin layer of annoyance.

Of course, I was headed home, so it didn't take long to dispel the mystery. I checked a mirror, and all seemed fairly normal.

I hate those stalls.

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