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Questionable

One of the most interesting things about being single is that people have all sorts of advice for you. For the most part, it comes from friends who only want the best for you. They figure that you'll be that much happier with a significant other, and they are merely trying to nudge you towards that. It doesn't matter if the person giving the advice is single or not, that person is ultimately trying to impart some sort of wisdom.

And precisely because the advice is given with the best intentions, I don't generally mind. I usually have a joke or two about the horrors of a girlfriend, and everyone has a laugh. I may listen to the person, I may not. But I don't mind the actual act of giving advice. It's just one of those things that happens.

On the other hand, there are times when my best interests are not the impetus for the advice. And funnily enough, I've seen an increase in the screwball advice lately. For example:

  • My sister-in-law was telling me that she's got a good friend that I should start seeing. We'd be good together, apparently. However, this friend is "not girlfriend material" (her words, not mine). I'm not quite sure what exactly it is that I'm supposed to do with this information, but she conveyed both of these facts in rapid succession. It's not quite a bait and switch, but it's pretty darn close.
  • A school buddy of mine had some people over, and I met a few of his other friends at the shindig. I struck up a conversation with one of these girls, and we eventually became friends. Now, I know what you're thinking. If anyone were to suggest that something might happen betwixt the new-found friend and I, this would be an ideal time to do it. But no, the school buddy didn't say anything.

    A short while later, I was having a conversation with the new friend, and the school buddy interjected something. She scoffed, and gave him a hard time about something he said. He defended himself, and I scoffed a second time. I kid you not, something like 5 minutes later, I received a text that said, "you should date that girl. You two have tons in common."

    Apparently, both of us making fun of him counts as "tons in common" and is grounds for her being the love of my life.
  • At my sister's wedding, her father-in-law started joking about when my wedding was going to be. It's sort of natural when you're the last of the unmarried siblings, and everyone's got jokes around me. Even better, he was really trying to look out for me so that "we don't start thinking weird things about you." I mean, how much more sincere can it get than that?

    Heck, he even asked if I had a type, so that he could keep an eye out. Since it was all in fun, I answered him. What came next, though, surprised me. The guy upped the ante on his offer, big time. He offered up two whole countries of women, because he was going on business trips to those countries. TWO. And that's countries, not cities, counties, or states. Countries. He'd personally deliver these girls and everything.

    Awesome, my very own mail-order bride. That should turn out well.
  • Speaking of types, my sister-in-law was asking me more or less the same thing about what I look for in a woman. I was giving her my usual response when hilarity ensued:

    Me: " ... it's not like I need to date a supermodel. I'm looking for ... "
    Her: "That's your problem"
    Me: "Huh? I need to date supermodels?"
    Her: "Exactly. See how far you've gotten up to this point. You need to start aiming for the ones who are much more into their looks."
    Me: "Just to make sure, you want me to look for women who are more superficial?"
    Her: "Yeah, basically."

    Now, a very smart man once claimed that insanity can be defined as repeatedly doing the same thing and expecting different results. There is some valid logic behind my sister-in-law's line of thinking. However, I'm guessing this particular application of logic wasn't quite what Einstein had in mind.
Like I said, it's all in fun, so I'm not about to take any of it personally. Still, I do sometimes wonder just where the ensuing laughter is directed when I get some of this advice.
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