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Napkins

A while back, I went out to grab drinks and some dinner with a few friends. It wasn't a particularly special occasion, but more than a few people had agreed to meet up. Unsurprisingly, several people were late. So, those of us who had shown up earlier than the rest ordered drinks from the bar. We had alcohol and good company to keep us entertained, though, so it was hardly a hardship. When the rest of the party showed up shortly thereafter, we made our way to our table with unfinished drinks in hand.

That's when the fun began.

When we sat down, I went to put down my drink. By this point, there was a bit of condensation on the glass, so I looked around for a coaster or napkin on which to set my glass. Noticing that I wasn't the only one to do this, the waitress brought over some napkins. These would serve as coasters, and all would be right in the world. However, she didn't bring enough. The pile was quickly distributed, but I still did not have a coaster-like object for my glass.

To be honest, I think the fact that there weren't enough for everyone threw me off a little bit. Were we supposed to only improvise coasters for some drinks but not others? Were they for food? It was probably mildly stupid on my part, but it was what it was.

Looking up, I caught the waitress' eye. At that point, the conversation went as follows:
Waitress: "Did you need some more napkins?"
Me: "Yes, please."
Waitress: "Sure, coming right up."
Me: "Thanks. I wasn't sure how much you guys cared, but I figured I'd ask."
Waitress: "Oh, trust me, you'll need the napkins" (laugh)

Someone else overheard this exchange, but with a far different emphasis. He heard, "oh, trust me, YOU'LL need the napkins." Once he voiced this out loud, the entire table was laughing at me and my perceived lack of cleanliness. Playing along, I joked that it was because I was the only brown kid at the table. Clearly, this was racism in action, and I was a blameless victim in all of this.

Like most jokes, this was quickly forgotten. Then, mid-way through our meal, someone at the other end of the table asked for extra cutlery. Since I happened to be near the end of the table, the waitress reached over my shoulder and placed them in my general vicinity. Not knowing that someone else had specifically asked for this, the same guy who (mis?)interpreted the waitress' words assumed that she had decided to bring ME more napkins of her own volition. This led to some confusion, and quite a bit more laughter at my expense before everything was sorted out.

I was seriously amused by all of this, but the cherry on top was yet to come. Before the laughter completely died down, the waitress-interpreter commented, "I like how you're inventing new forms of discrimination." Yup, not only did I look flat out dirty, but I managed to make up a new form of racism in the process. I'm calling that a good night.

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