Mild Amusement

Salad and I have a funny history. For a good chunk of my youth, I didn't really eat any. I didn't believe it was a true form of food. Sure, it was served to you if you went out to eat, but it was neither filling nor satisfying to me. So I would usually avoid it when presented as an option. That stance has since changed, especially since the cafeteria at work sells some hearty salads that I enjoy. The initial preference for some other food item is still there, but I can have a salad for lunch and be okay with that. I still prefer that the salad have some heft to it, though, so I always throw in eggs and meat of some sort when given the option. Or as a friend once told me, I like "manly" salads (side note: a different friend claimed that baby spinach and portobello mushrooms made her salad "womanly," so there's gender parity with the salads). Anyhow, I was recently at the cafeteria buying lunch when I had an "encounter" with one of my favorit...

No, not that kind of goodbye. I don't think I've had to leave people or kick them out of my life often enough for that to really be a concern of mine. Though for the record, the most memorable version involved someone playing "Leaving on a Jet Plane" and then pointing at me. No, I'm talking about the actual, mundane task of saying something to someone as we part ways at the end of an outing. See, I'm never quite sure to say. I have enough of a grasp of basic manners that I know I have to wish someone a good night or wish them a safe journey, but it gets tricky. Often times, there's also a physical touch, usually a hug or a handshake, that can throw off the cadence of the whole experience (good bye before the hug? After? One apiece?). It's an ordeal, I'm telling you. Let's start with the words, though. Knowing that I am prone to screw this process up, I usually just stick to the basics. If I know the person is leaving on a trip, say, I...

Generally speaking, I'm not prone to outbursts of emotion. This is particularly true of anger, since I try hard not to let my temper get the best of me. Don't get me wrong, I get angry just like everyone else does, but I try hard to jump to that particular emotion. I'm not even sure why I do this, to be honest, but it's one of those things that I've always done. Funnily enough, though, this particular trait has led to some awfully amusing exchanges. First of all, I have this habit of verifying whether I should be upset, or how upset I should be, at a particular turn of events. It's my way of making sure I'm not overreacting, really. Sure, I've got my natural instinct for whether I should be angry, but I will solicit advice from others to keep myself from doing anything unnecessary. If you remember those old TBS commercials where someone would call in to verify if something was funny, it's a little bit like that (side note: the only good link I coul...

Remember how I sometimes end up in odd conversations ? I've often wondered what would happen if someone only heard part of said conversations. I know that when I'm out in public, I sometimes overhear little snippets of conversations that make me chuckle. I know full well that these snippets are taken out of context, but that's what makes it even funnier. The whole thing is amusing to me. Anyhow, I was thinking about it, and I've partaken in a good number of conversations that would lend themselves to this phenomenon. In the spirit of keeping things completely out of context, I won't explain what the conversations were about, nor why that particular comment was made. That'll be left up to your imagination, and I'm willing to bet money on the fact that doing it this way is going to result in more laughs on your end. Or, as all of my textbooks used to say, I've left that "as an exercise for the reader." So, here are some context-less quote...