Mild Amusement

A while back, the Mild Girlfriend and some of her friends wanted to go to a sunrise ceremony on Alcatraz. The problem, however, was that they all lived far enough away that they'd have to drive a fair bit just to get there. This was a sunrise ceremony, so they would've had to arrive at the crack of dawn. This sounded appealing to very few of them, so instead, they decided to crash nearby. Specifically, they crashed with us. I should also mention that both the Mild Girlfriend and her crew had occasionally lamented that they didn't have access to good restaurants. Well, that was a problem that I could remedy. I don't know all of the newest, hippest spots in town, but I can certainly point people to decent food. So, we went out to dinner at one of these spots the night before. Put it this way: one of them asked if she could have her birthday dinner AND her graduating-from-college dinner there. I figure we did all right with the selection. Now, the other bit of perti...

A while back, I helped the Mild Girlfriend move. Luckily, we had plenty of time to do so, so we were able to move all of her stuff with just our two cars. We also made more than one trip, spread out over a couple of weekends. All in all, it wasn't the worst move I've seen. It took time, but that's just how that goes. During the last weekend, we had to make one last push to get everything done. She had to be out of the apartment by about 11AM, and we'd parked the cars in a zone that ended up becoming commercial parking around 8AM. Since we wanted to be on the road by about that time anyway, that wasn't much of a problem. However, it did mean that we got up pretty early to pack the last of the stuff into our cars. Like I said, it wasn't horrible, but it just meant a lot more movement than most people are used to at that hour. We did get out of there when we expected to, but the process had a very unexpected consequence: I tore my pants. Even now, I have no ide...

Little kids tend to fall and bump into things quite a bit. It's what happens when you don't quite have control of your body. Heck, there is an entire class of milestones related to these gross motor skills . Put another way, that means that it's an achievement when a baby's body does roughly what the kid intended. So it's no surprise that there are a lot of bumps, bruises, and tears along the way while these kids learn these motor skills. That means that parents and adults around these kids constantly have to find ways to tend to and reassure these same little kids. You have to pick them up, wipe their tears, get them over the shock of the fall/bump, and even clean their wounds on occasion. Sometimes, all it takes is a little bit of attention to fix a scared toddler. Heck, I've even resorted to distracting a little kid with utter nonsense to make them forget all about the event that led to the tears. Say a kid fell and he's complaining about his knee; I...

This year, my family did two different Thanksgiving dinners. We had a small meal with my immediate family, and then one of my cousins hosted a larger meal with the extended family. As is often the case with stuff in my family, this led to more than a few laughs. The Mild Girlfriend and I always like bringing something whenever we're invited, so we started planning ahead days in advance. Well, actually, let's be real: she started planning days in advance. She just made sure to inform me of these plans so that I knew about them. I wasn't just an innocent bystander in all of this, but I'll give credit where credit is due: she did a lot of the planning. So, a week before the big meals, she suddenly wanted to try out a new macaroni and cheese recipe . I happen to like macaroni and cheese, so I was all for this. The catch, however, was that this was a much healthier version than usual. It was also a fairly simple recipe, by design, so that we could throw it together quick...

Every now and again, I travel for work. Normally, this is a pretty uneventful transaction, though on occasion it can lead to a little bit of hijinx. Apparently, the latest work trip I took was one of these rare exceptions, because it led to not one, but two separate stories. First, there was the story of the scarf that never quite saw any action . This post is the second of those two stories. The Mild Girlfriend and I had made plans to have dinner with some other folks, so I was trading emails with a bunch of them. However, since I was preoccupied with work, I was a little bit spotty about responding in a timely manner. In order to make sure no one was waiting on me, I let people know that I would be out of town. Specifically, I happened to mention which town I would be in. It wasn't an intentional phrasing, I just nonchalantly mentioned that I'd be in town X so that everyone knew I wouldn't be in town Y during the next few days. As it turned out, though, one of the fol...

So, I like to travel (I got curious, and the travel tag gets used fairly frequently on this blog). Most of the time, I travel for fun, and I end up with funny stories about my clothing  or experiences as a result. It's not like I go looking for adventures or shenanigans, but these things tend to happen when I'm somewhere other than my home town. Occasionally, though, I get to travel for work. It used to happen a little bit more in years past, but these days, it's a little bit more rare (apparently they realized that having me represent the company wasn't the best idea). Even so, I still end up with funny travel stories on those trips. Those stories are a particularly rare breed, but they're all the more fun as a result. In this particular case, I was traveling to the East coast for a conference. The timing of the trip wasn't particularly important, other than the fact that it was some time in the fall. Me being me, I didn't really think too much about ...

I like to stay active, if possible. It's not like I don't have lazy days on the weekend, it's just that I prefer to play basketball during the week and I like working out with my friends . I enjoy hiking , I've been known to go to a salsa class or two , and I've had my share of running adventures . All in all, it keeps me relatively healthy, so I can't really complain. Most of all, I like doing it. Plus, it has some added benefits, like being able to compete with my siblings when they decide to start FitBit challenges during the week . There are some downsides to the activity, though. I end up really freaking sore some times, and then mundane objects like stairs and chairs become obstacle courses that I have to navigate. Worst of all, though, are the injuries. I've been lucky so far, because I've yet to have any major injuries. I've rolled my ankle or stubbed a finger plenty of times, but in the grand scheme of things, those are all little things....

I went on vacation to Mexico with some family a short while back. It was a lot of fun, but it also led to all sorts of hilarity. This particular story only tangentially involves me, but it was still all sorts of fun. Due to some scheduling issues, the Mild Girlfriend didn't join us on the trip. The magic of WiFi still let us communicate, but she had work and family obligations. I finally made use of some of the apps on my phone, and we were even able to manage video calls a couple of times. The funniest part was that I often made these calls from the comfort of the hotel room, and my brother and sister-in-law were present for some of them. They would very helpfully add commentary at times; I had my own peanut gallery. Anyhow, on one of those calls, the Mild Girlfriend informed me that she had decided to visit her family, including her nephews. Her nephew was really excited to see her, and he kept asking her to hang out or do things together (little kids like to do that). At on...

So, I went to Mexico with some family a little while back. It was a fair bit of fun, but as usual, it led to quite a bit of hijinx. As a reminder, this is the same set of people that made me laugh out loud about football statistics and created the "court of life" to judge the quality of decisions we saw being made . This time around was no different, really. In order for this post to have the maximum comedic effect, we have to start with a little bit of back story. This was not the first time that my brother and his wife had been to Mexico. They'd actually been there with my brother's in-laws a few years back, and they'd thoroughly enjoyed the experience. That's actually part of the reason why we went this time, because they liked it that much the first time around. For the purposes of this story, though, the important part is that one of my sister-in-law's older brothers had gone with them. He is a good guy, and a generous tipper, so the staff all love...

So, I mentioned last time that I've been put to work as the second in command in the kitchen with the Mild Girlfriend . This has already resulted in a few laughs, and at least a couple of funny social media exchanges with friends of ours. Like I said, it's been fun. Little did I realize, though, there was one other surprise waiting for me. You know how some people can pick out all the ingredients in their food and then try to recreate the dish? Well, I can't do that. I've got too bad a sense of smell for it, for one. Secondly, and perhaps more importantly, I've never really had the motivation or the  appropriate skills  for the task. Other than obvious ingredients like onions or cheese, I don't really play with the underlying items enough to know how they smell or taste by themselves. When you mix them together, it gets even more jumbled up. All I know is that it's "food" and it tastes good. So, I've always been a little amazed when other f...

Lately, the Mild Girlfriend and I have been cooking a lot. I don't usually do tons of cooking on my own (as evidenced by my initial reaction to Ceviche Fest ), but I can cook a few dishes here and there. I know how to make rice, and I can put a few things together on top of the rice. Basically, I cook well enough to stave off starvation. Frankly, that's usually been the goal. However, the Mild Girlfriend really enjoys cooking, so she will sometimes want to try out a recipe. I don't particularly feel right just sitting around the whole time if she's busy in the kitchen, so I usually help out. Remember, I can handle the basics of cooking, so I can chop, slice, and mince just fine. That's the best way for me to be useful, so I end up doing a lot of the prep work. I like to joke that I'm the sous chef . Seeing as how there are only two of us, it's not unreasonable to assume that I'm second in command. It's actually a lot of fun. For one, I get to see...

Let me start this post by saying that ceviche happens to be my favorite food. If you've never had it, it's delicious. There are a bunch of different ways to make it, but the Peruvian version that I grew up with always hits a nostalgic spot in my heart. Keep that little nugget in mind, because it will make the rest of this post just a little more entertaining. That said, a while back, I was joking around with some of my family. I don't quite remember how it started, but someone said something along the lines of, "I wish I had more time to do X." I responded with a smart aleck, "I wish I had ceviche." Well, my brother and sister happened to be part of that conversation, and they also concurred that ceviche would be pretty awesome. We did grow up together, after all. After that, though, a magical thing happened: my brother suggested we make this happen. Do you have certain traditions that you always did with your parents? It doesn't really matter...

Peruvian food and I have an interesting relationship. On the one hand, I really like a lot of it. My favorite food happens to be a Peruvian dish (ceviche), and there is a certain sense of nostalgia whenever I eat certain dishes. However, I don't really eat it all that often, and it occasionally leads to laughter at my expense . There are reasons for this, of course. First of all, cooking Peruvian food usually requires quite a bit of prep work, so my parents got to the point where they'd cook other type of food more often. It's a simple matter of time; when you have to cook dinner every night, you naturally start to gravitate to dishes that won't take up most of the night. In fact, my mom got so much practice with cooking other types of food, that she can make a mean Chinese dinner . I also don't cook Peruvian food all that much (again, lots of prep), so it's more of a delicacy for me than anything else. Secondly, and more importantly, I grew up with some ...

So, a while back, a bunch of folks in my extended family decided they wanted to play fantasy football . If you've never heard of this game, you pretend like you're managing a fake (that's where the "fantasy" part comes in) team of players. You score points based on how well they play, and the point is to score more points than your opponents. It's simple in concept, and it's ridiculously popular. I like watching football , so I joined up. I figured it was all in fun, and it gave us the chance to do some friendly trash talking in the process. Remember, this is the same crew that made up its own vocabulary for a phone game and turned competitive walking into laugh-out-loud jokes . I knew for darn certain that this was going to lead to jokes and hilarity. Sign me up. First things first, we needed to draft our players. Just like in the real NFL, each team in a fantasy league takes a turn to pick the player it wants. It can take a while, since folks can ta...

I have a couple of friends with whom I routinely have dinner. We always go to different restaurants, and try various types of cuisine. None of us are foodies , but we do enjoy each other's company and the idea of breaking bread while we do so. So, we've had a bunch of meals together, and some of those meals have involved ethnic cuisine. That's where the fun of this post comes in. You see, we've had Peruvian food a few times, and they've always asked me what a particular dish was made out of or how something tasted. I am the resident Peruvian in the group, so it makes a ton of sense. For example, if I was going to a Brazilian churrascaria  and I had a Brazilian friend joining me, I'd direct any questions about the menu or the meal to that person. You figure the Brazilian would be more likely to know, right? Anyhow, we were having dinner once, and one of these folks asked what lomo saltado was. I explained it as a beef stir fry type dish, and that sounded app...

You know how guys tend to get crap from women for not noticing details about their significant others? Um, yeah, I have a story about that very subject. As it turns out, so does the Mild Girlfriend. Years back, she kept her hair pretty long, almost down to her waist. It wasn't like she made a big thing of styling it, but it was fairly apparent attribute to most of the people around her. Well, most people. When she chopped off a good chunk of it one day, multiple guys around her couldn't quite figure out what had changed. The way she tells it, many of them said to her, "wait ... did you change something? Something is different ..." The women around her, on the other hand, immediately ran up to her and complimented her on her new hair cut. It wasn't even a question, they just knew. Not only that, but they noticed and they provided feedback about it. Remember, most of the guys were still back in the, "I wonder what changed?" phase. The Mild Girlf...

So, as I've mentioned before, I got a Fitbit as a gift a while back. So far, the thing has called me fat and tricked me into walking in circles . That was more than enough for that first blog post, but the fun didn't stop there. Oh no, friends. There has been more added to the list. As it turns out, my brother and sister both picked up Fitbits of their own. And as is wont to happen in my family, they quickly turned this into fun for everyone. Remember, this is the same crew that turned Clash of Clans into a family affair . I forget who challenged who first, but very soon after they both had their devices, they were competing with each other to see who could get the most steps. Sure, the usual refrains about the device being slightly inaccurate applied (washing dishes can sometimes register as steps), but it should've balanced out over the course of the competition. To be honest, though, that's when the laughs really started. First of all, my brother mentioned that h...

I like to do the CrossFit thing with folks at work , in part because it always throws new challenges at me. It always leads to all sorts of amusing stories , though, and this is one of those stories. First of all, one of the hallmarks of CrossFit is that it the work outs change constantly. You don't necessarily know what the work out is for that day (your mileage may vary, of course), but that means that you're constantly facing new challenges. Long story short, you pretty much always learn something new. To someone like me, that can be a lot of fun. Lately, I've been doing more Olympic style lifting than before. In that process, I've learned about a new way to grip the bar: the hook grip . That manner of holding a bar gives you a stronger grip and makes it less likely that something will wobble or slide, so it can be helpful when done properly. Unfortunately, I don't necessarily use it all the time. It still feels a little awkward to me, so it's never my fi...

At this point, it should come as no surprise when I post a story about kids. Between the daycare stories  and my friends with kids , I have plenty of stories to go around. Throw in the occasional story about younger relatives , and you can understand why a good chunk of my blog is dedicated to stories about people who are a small fraction of my age. Now, I'm no parent, but I've seen enough younger folks to have a rough idea of how things go down. Still, even with that in mind, there are times when one of them manages to surprise me. This was one of those times. Let's start by introducing the protagonist of this story (hint: it's not me). This kid happens to be one of the Mild Girlfriend's nephews, who I only recently met. Like most kids his age, he likes to play with toys and can be easily amused. On the day I met him, we played with trains, plush doggies, and his pop up fort  (his looked different, but you get the basic idea). I was even invited into his for...

I had a rough couple of weeks recently. It was all completely accidental, but for about a two minute span split over two different encounters, I saw (female) friends and acquaintances of mine give me some downright dirty looks. Luckily it all blew over, and eventually everyone had a good laugh about it, but, oh man, were those some hard-earned laughs. Let's start with the incident at the bar. I have a couple of friends who live overseas, so I never get to see them. They're good people, though, so when they stopped by in the area, I jumped at the chance to see them. I'm not their only friend, though, so they decided to just hang out at a bar and have people show up to spend some time with them. Now, "they" happens to be both a guy and a girl, so I couldn't look for any one particular person; I pretty much had to look at everybody in the bar to figure out if that person was my friend. Luckily, I spotted the female half of the couple pretty quickly, so I didn...

This, my friends, is the story of a long con . It involves some relevant background information, so bear with me while I explain. The pay off is worth it, trust me. Without further ado, I have an old friend that I have known since high school. And as with all good friends that you've known that long, I've spent a lot of time hanging out with this person. During those occasions, we have shared stories, talked about the latest happenings in our lives, and occasionally reminisced about years past. That last part is the relevant bit for this story. She swears that there used to be a rumor of sorts circulating about yours truly. I'd never heard of it, but she assured me that people used to say that my first English word was "octopus." English wasn't my first language (that'd be Spanish ), so I got to learn while going to school. I don't really remember much about it, though I know that my teachers and classmates were kind enough to try to pronounce my n...

A little while back, I got a Fitbit as a gift. I sort of knew what they did at the time, but I hadn't really paid that much attention. Little did I know what I was getting myself into. For those of you like me, the basic idea is that it will track how many steps you take in a day, how many minutes you are active, and (roughly) how many calories you've burned that day. I've heard some people tell me that the step counter isn't 100% accurate, but the basic idea still holds. So with that in mind, the sign up process asked me for my height and weight. I didn't really think much of this at the time, but keep this in mind. In a way, it makes sense. If you want to know how many steps I'm taking, my height is a pretty good approximation of how far each step will take me. Now it's just a matter of measuring how far I've traveled, and you can give me a pretty good idea of how many steps I've taken. I'm sure there's a lot more smarts to the device ...

This story started out innocently: a few of us decided to carpool to a group outing. It made a lot more sense than driving multiple cars to lunch and then driving those same cars back to the exact same place from where we started. So, we all met up at the appointed time, give or take some tardiness, and headed to lunch. Now, the friend who drove has purchased a new car since the last time I saw her. So, someone made an off-hand remark about how it'd be my first time in her car. There was all manner of banter about the pomp and circumstance necessary for this momentous occasion, and we all shared a few laughs about it all. Since there were three of us, though, someone had to sit in the backseat. That's where this story started to get far more amusing. Since I tend to have shorter legs than many of the other folks I hang out with, I'm very used to sitting in the back, particularly that middle seat in the back. And, since this is such a common occurrence, I immediately vol...

For the most part, my job doesn't require me to be up late at night. It's pretty rare these days that I have to be logged on to my work machine once I get home. Sure, I interact with people in other parts of the world, but for the most part, we can get it all done within the confines of our regular business hours. That said, a very coincidental set of circumstances has made me decide that I can't wait until the next time that I do have to be awake for this. The first part of this story starts with a work snippet. I support an application that gets used at all hours of the day, and one day, we started seeing intermittent errors in the middle of the night. They just started at 3AM for no apparent reason, even though no one had changed anything (at least not that I'm aware of). The worst part was that they were intermittent errors, so it became much harder to reproduce the errors or troubleshoot what was going on. Regardless, someone suggested I check the credentials,...

So, I like to stay active, and that sometimes involves CrossFit . If you've never tried it for yourself, one of the hallmarks of this particular style of workout is that you're constantly doing something different. I've been asked to perform all sorts of new movements that I'd never considered before. Now, before you start questioning this, I've always been taught proper technique and form long before I had to actually perform the exercise with any kind of weight in my hands. So, it should be fairly safe if done properly. That said, constantly having to do new exercises means that I routinely get coaching for the proper form for a movement. Even for things that I now take for granted, someone is always watching and calling me out if I'm starting to slip. It's not uncommon for someone to tell me to keep my chest up (so you don't put a heavy strain on your lower back). For someone as anal and detail oriented as me, that is incredibly helpful. I general...

I've occasionally had people tell me that I have a very distinct way of communicating. I've got a "style," if you will. Now, I pretty much only know one way to talk: the way I talk. It's not like I have put countless of hours into crafting a new persona or figuring out how to piece words together. For better or for worse, it's an innate style. Most of the time, I don't really think about it. It's one of those curious little facts that people have thrown my way and I have retained (sort of like how I know that Japanese has a word for " someone who is so good they are legendary "). However, it's recently come up in enough ways that it's led to a few laughs, and several at my expense. First of all, it turns out that I write very much like I talk. I've never really thought about it, but that makes some sense. It's pretty natural to try to translate your actual speech into written speech, I think. Either way, this came up when ...