Mild Amusement

Once, a very long time ago, Litmus Test remarked that I gave good hugs. I remember the comment because it surprised me. It's not like I sat around practicing or anything. All I had done was given her a good-bye hug, and she made the comment unprovoked. Like I've said before, though, I'll take the compliment over an insult any day. Anyhow, the comment was quickly forgotten over the years. Again, it's not like I sat around practicing how to give a good hug. And frankly, I wasn't sure what I had done in the first place to deserve the compliment. Recently, though, I was reminded of this long lost commentary. A buddy of mine was having a house-warming of sorts, and I was hanging out at his house catching up with various friends. There was one person in particular who I hadn't seen in a while, so it was good to catch up with her and meeting her boyfriend. We all shared a few laughs and the good times rolled on. As is wont to happen at those gatherings, though, e...

You know how people seem to have opinions about who I should and should not be dating? I've heard more than one version of people telling me that I should let them vet these women first recently. These comments always crack me up, but one particularly enterprising friend took it to another level. You see, she decided that I needed an intervention of sorts. We planned on hanging out for dinner, and she invited another friend of hers to tag along, as backup. Now, to be perfectly fair, it was more like dinner conversation just so happened to be about me. It's not like they sat there and dragged in people who I was hurting through my actions. Still, the general idea was to impart some wisdom on me to put me back on track. That alone was enough to get me to crack a smirk. As we were talking, though, the phrases, "how's your relationship with your parents?" and "mommy issues" actually came out. Oh man, I couldn't help but laugh when I heard that. I...

This, my friends, is a story about a molehill that turned in to a mountain. It all started innocently enough: a family friend met up with someone for lunch. Hours later, however, she went out to her driveway and realized that her car was not in the driveway. She was more than a little alarmed about this sudden turn of events, and she realized, in hindsight, that the dog had been barking an unusual amount in the moments before. Aw, crap. She hunted around in the nearby area, but the car was nowhere to be seen. In a sign of our times, she took to social media to try to get help. She alerted all of her friends that the car was missing, and she provided the make and model of the car. If any of them saw the car, she asked them to alert her and the police, so that the car could be retrieved. It's one of the quickest ways to cast an informal APB, so I immediately understood why she did this. Of course, there were a few laments about the sad turn of events. Now, this next part is where...

Salad and I have a funny history. For a good chunk of my youth, I didn't really eat any. I didn't believe it was a true form of food. Sure, it was served to you if you went out to eat, but it was neither filling nor satisfying to me. So I would usually avoid it when presented as an option. That stance has since changed, especially since the cafeteria at work sells some hearty salads that I enjoy. The initial preference for some other food item is still there, but I can have a salad for lunch and be okay with that. I still prefer that the salad have some heft to it, though, so I always throw in eggs and meat of some sort when given the option. Or as a friend once told me, I like "manly" salads (side note: a different friend claimed that baby spinach and portobello mushrooms made her salad "womanly," so there's gender parity with the salads). Anyhow, I was recently at the cafeteria buying lunch when I had an "encounter" with one of my favorit...

No, not that kind of goodbye. I don't think I've had to leave people or kick them out of my life often enough for that to really be a concern of mine. Though for the record, the most memorable version involved someone playing "Leaving on a Jet Plane" and then pointing at me. No, I'm talking about the actual, mundane task of saying something to someone as we part ways at the end of an outing. See, I'm never quite sure to say. I have enough of a grasp of basic manners that I know I have to wish someone a good night or wish them a safe journey, but it gets tricky. Often times, there's also a physical touch, usually a hug or a handshake, that can throw off the cadence of the whole experience (good bye before the hug? After? One apiece?). It's an ordeal, I'm telling you. Let's start with the words, though. Knowing that I am prone to screw this process up, I usually just stick to the basics. If I know the person is leaving on a trip, say, I...

Generally speaking, I'm not prone to outbursts of emotion. This is particularly true of anger, since I try hard not to let my temper get the best of me. Don't get me wrong, I get angry just like everyone else does, but I try hard to jump to that particular emotion. I'm not even sure why I do this, to be honest, but it's one of those things that I've always done. Funnily enough, though, this particular trait has led to some awfully amusing exchanges. First of all, I have this habit of verifying whether I should be upset, or how upset I should be, at a particular turn of events. It's my way of making sure I'm not overreacting, really. Sure, I've got my natural instinct for whether I should be angry, but I will solicit advice from others to keep myself from doing anything unnecessary. If you remember those old TBS commercials where someone would call in to verify if something was funny, it's a little bit like that (side note: the only good link I coul...

Remember how I sometimes end up in odd conversations ? I've often wondered what would happen if someone only heard part of said conversations. I know that when I'm out in public, I sometimes overhear little snippets of conversations that make me chuckle. I know full well that these snippets are taken out of context, but that's what makes it even funnier. The whole thing is amusing to me. Anyhow, I was thinking about it, and I've partaken in a good number of conversations that would lend themselves to this phenomenon. In the spirit of keeping things completely out of context, I won't explain what the conversations were about, nor why that particular comment was made. That'll be left up to your imagination, and I'm willing to bet money on the fact that doing it this way is going to result in more laughs on your end. Or, as all of my textbooks used to say, I've left that "as an exercise for the reader." So, here are some context-less quote...