Mild Amusement

So, my sister had a kid, so I have a new baby nephew these days. He's the first in my immediate family, so there's all sorts of excitement having to do with him. We are all very excited for his parents, and we're all very excited to meet him. My parents, understandably, were the most excited of the immediate family to meet him. They were the first to spend time with my sister and my nephew, and they were quite happy about the whole thing. The funniest part, to me, was that my mom insisted that my nephew looks like me. I didn't really think much of it, since there's almost always someone who insists that family member X looks like family member Y. Of course, my mom has years and years of experience with this whole baby thing. Also, she's MY mother, so she is one of the two foremost authorities on what I looked like as a baby. Not even I can say what I looked like as a baby, so I really should've listened when she threw out that particular tidbit. In fact,...

Funny things tend to happen when I'm asleep. I obviously don't try to do any of these things, since I'm asleep at the time. Nevertheless, the Mild Fiancée still has all sorts of interesting stories for me when I wake up. This shouldn't really come as much of a surprise: I already wrote about how I say really goofy things when I'm half asleep and I have really amusing dreams when I have dessert before bed . Well, I sleep a lot (for HOURS every single day), so I have lots of opportunities to come up with more stories. These, friends, are two more of those stories. I play a couple of phone games to kill time every now and then, and it apparently has sunk into my subconscious. One of those games is a color matching game, where you try to line up multiple blocks/tiles of the same color in a line. Basically, you move a bunch of stuff around in order to progress through the game. Keeping that in mind, I once started moving stuff around while dead asleep. I sort of reme...

I was never really allowed to be picky about food when growing up, so I learned to eat all sorts of things. My parents still made our favorite dishes , but they also allowed no room for whining about what was on the dinner table. Whether we liked it or not, we would eat what was served. It's a habit that has come in handy surprisingly often over the years, but it also leads to a surprising amount of hilarity. In this case, it's relevant that my brother-in-law and sister-in-law aren't quite so willing to eat other foods . In fact, it's become something of a running gag for us. In both Peruvian and Chinese cooking, you will occasionally be served something that I grew up calling "pichon." The English term for this, as I've discovered, is squab . However, neither of them is particularly fond of that food item, so they usually avoid the squab if it is served. We have all noticed this, so we frequently joke about having pichon for dinner if we want to needl...

The Mild Fiancée and I are not rich. We don't have a huge place, we drive older cars, and we don't take fancy vacations. Sure, we go out to eat every so often, but it's not like we're going to lavish steak dinners every night. Basically, we get by with what we have. We add a few little flourishes here and there, but we are by no means living a luxurious life style. I say all of that so that you have the proper context for the part that comes next. You see, we also like to add small little touches here and there. For example, we'll light a candle at dinner. That's not the sort of thing that takes tons of money or effort, but it does make the meal a little bit nicer. Sometimes we buy a bottle of wine, or mix drinks on the weekends. Again, you'd be surprised at how cheaply you can do this: we've bought five or six dollar bottles of wine and enjoyed them just fine. Now, I'll give the Mild Fiancée full credit here; she's the one who's good at ...

One of the more interesting things that I've noticed as I've gotten older is that parents control what their children eat. For example, most parents try to limit the amount of sugar that their kids consume. Sugar tends to make kids really hyper, so it's just best for everyone involved if they don't eat enough of it that they start bouncing off the walls. In that spirit, one of the tricks that I've often seen employed is to water down juice. Some of the juice that you buy is just teeming with sugar. I occasionally check the nutritional information for these things, and I was surprised by just how many grams of sugar there are in a serving. It's not quite bouncing-off-the-walls high, but it's high enough that I did a double-take the first time I noticed it. I don't have any recollection of this happening to us as kids, but it's entirely possible that my folks were just really good about hiding their tracks. Or that I was entirely oblivious to the w...

I get a lot of mistaken identities. I've been suspected of stealing my own car , and had random people assume that I was my own gardener . I also look young for my age, while simultaneously  making old people plans  on occasion. Throw in my apparently surprising penchant for speaking Spanish , and I'm just full of surprises for other people. All in all, it makes life pretty interesting. Now, I've gotten used to it. I've clearly had plenty of those experiences (see the links in the above paragraph as proof), so it comes as no surprise any more. However, if there's a second person involved, things get exponentially funnier. Take, for example, dinners out with the Mild Fiancée. She is only a year younger than me, but she looks even younger than that. We both get carded routinely, as we apparently do not look our age. For the record, that is not a complaint. The two of us will happily look young for the rest of our lives, but it's just funny when it happens. I...

So, I was home alone one day. This was not a particularly special day, it was just another weekend. It's not like we're talking about Christmas or a new member of the family or something. No, it was just another weekend, like any other. The only real difference on this particular day was that I was by myself in the house. Now, I had to do chores around the house. The first thing I was focusing on was laundry, so I threw a load into the wash. Everything was going well, and I was multi-tasking so that I could do some writing while I waited for the laundry to finish. Of course, washing the clothes is only the first half of the chore, so I had to throw that load of laundry into the dryer. I also had a second load of laundry to do, so I decided to multi-task. I threw the second load of laundry into the washer, and moved the first load into the dryer. Yes, I know that everyone does this. It's more or less standard practice. But you can't help but feel a little bit product...

Somehow, I got into crocheting a while back . I even got to put my skills to use for my new nephew, since I figured he could use a one-up mushroom beanie . All in all, I'm pretty happy about this turn of events. I get to make people hand-made gifts, and that goes over pretty well. I've also found that it's a half-way decent way to relax and unwind in the evenings. If I've had a rough day at work, I can spend some time thinking about a crochet hook instead. So, yeah, it's been a good thing. That said, it's showed up in other parts of my life, sometimes in surprising ways. For starters, my brother made fun of me. I forget exactly what he said, but it was something to the effect of me being an old lady. I can't say that I was entirely surprised, since I figured someone was bound to poke fun eventually. It just so happened to be him, in this case. Also, it was all in fun, so we both laughed about it. The other thing that came up, however, was at work. So...

Let's start today's post with a fact: I don't wear make up. That may be a strange opening line, but I mention it so that it's clear that I have zero first-hand experience with the stuff. The little knowledge that I do have comes from overhearing some video that the Mild Fiancée is watching. So take everything that comes after this with a grain of salt. Okay, with that disclaimer out of the way, I have actually learned a few things about make up over the course of this relationship. Some of it is really easy to remember, because it's led to some interesting discussions. Guys, if I asked you whether primer or foundation goes on first, would you know? My female cousins and friends immediately know that it's primer, but the really amusing part is that half the time, they scoff at the fact that a guy wouldn't know. I mean, it's called "primer," for crying out loud. Whenever you paint something, you put the primer on first. Of course, after the gu...

I've mentioned it before, but my family and I play fantasy football . The first season we did this, we had hilarity at the draft, and people were demanding that we start the whole thing over. We also had people who had never once cared about football rooting for individual players. All in all, it was a good time. Heck, I even joked that we should institute a fantasy league for a reality TV show and I wasn't laughed out of the room. Well, that was last year. Now that it's a year later, that means it's time for another round of fantasy football. This time, we've got some one-year veterans who are chomping at the bit to go, and the Mild Fiancée is also in on the fun. As you can imagine, this has led to all sorts of fun. Now, I'm hardly an expert in any of this (as the performance of my fantasy football teams can attest to), but it's been fun imparting some knowledge to the Mild Fiancée. There are terms that I have taken for granted for so long that I've...

So, the Mild Fiancée and I have a history with Mac and Cheese . The last time we decided to bring it to a family meal, there were all sorts of shenanigans. As it turns out, though, this was not an isolated incident. In that particular case, we decided to bring a very healthy version of mac and cheese. This time around, however, we decided to go the exact opposite route. There was no Greek yogurt this time around. No, instead, we put bacon and chorizo into it this time. We also put in something like five cheeses. I say "something like" because I'm not even sure how many ended up in the mac and cheese. In fact, that was part of the hilarity. We started with a very vegetable-heavy base (onions and celery), as we are wont to do. Then we added the cheeses. I had personally grated 3 different kinds of cheeses, and the Mild Fiancée had grated a different one, so let me tell you: there was a lot of cheese. However, the sauce still didn't have that gooey, yellow color th...

(I'm glad I managed to get this done in time. Car troubles caused some issues, so this week's blog post is a bit late.) Breakfast was a mandatory meal at my house for most of my formative years. I more or less grew up having a solid breakfast every single day. I never realized that other families did not do so until later in life, since I didn't exactly have other families to compare with. Sure, I hung out with friends and what not, but it was usually after breakfast time. Regardless, I pretty much always try to eat breakfast in the morning. These days, that's usually a glass of milk and a slice of bread. What goes on the bread changes from day to day, but there's almost always milk and bread. Sometimes, I have avocados . Other times, I just have a slice of cheese on top. The actual "topping" for the bread doesn't matter too much, just that I have a fairly nutritious breakfast. In fact, this habit is so ingrained in me, that I have even made bre...

A little while back, the Mild Fiancée and I went to a friend's baby shower (as it turns out, we know quite a few people having babies soon). It was a good time overall, but the most interesting bit was talking to the other guests. I met a few folks that went to the same high school I did (though a different year), and some of the couple's relatives. And that, friends, is where the hilarity ensued. I've known the mommy-to-be for a while, so I've met her parents before. It's not like they know every last detail of my life, but they recognize me and they always say hello when they see me. And vice versa, honestly. They're nice people, and I always chat with them for a bit. I wouldn't say I'm super close with them, though. Still, they were there, so I said hello. More interestingly, I introduced them to the Mild Fiancée, and they were happy for us. I guess she must've made a good first impression with them (it certainly didn't hurt that the Mild ...

The Mild Fiancée and I like to listen to music. We don't have a TV in the house , so it's not uncommon for us to fire up a laptop to play some background music. The particular music changes from time to time, but we both appreciate having something playing while we cook, for example. It just makes the house a little more lively while we're going about our day. Now, we don't like the exact same music all the time, but our tastes do overlap quite a bit. We both grew up with R&B, hip hop, and rap from the same time (we're only about a year apart in age), so it's not uncommon for both of us to recognize a song or an artist from that period. We're no strangers to Tupac . Or Elvis Crespo , for that matter (as an aside, we had some friends over, and we all unanimously decided that the video I linked to was one of the worst we've ever seen). However, there are places where our music tastes diverge. It's never a problem, since variations on things we ...

Most everyone I know enjoys Chinese food of some sort. Sure, you may not like every single dish, but there's usually something that you enjoy. Maybe it's as simple as broccoli with beef, or maybe you like something like  Mapo tofu  (one of my personal favorites). Either way, there's usually something on the menu for everyone. Heck, I even know folks who like the highly Americanized, fake-Chinese food. Now, if you don't quite know the difference, maybe an analogy with Mexican food will help: If you don't already know what "chingaderas" mean, don't look it up at work Basically, the stuff that is often sold commercially has been drastically, drastically altered in order to sell. In the example above, real tacos don't have nearly as much seasoning as the commercial versions. Similarly, the tortillas are a vessel for eating your food, not an invitation for 3-D food sculptures. Chinese food suffers from the very same alteration. There is no su...

This story starts, as many of mine do, with a conversation. Specifically, I was chatting over IM with a coworker buddy of mine. We were talking about a bunch of stuff, though most of it was work related (no surprise there). Of course, the whole thing took a very interesting turn that made us both laugh. Without giving away the details, this friend had a bit of a complicated decision to make. I'm not exactly the most knowledgable in that particular area, but I at least knew what he was talking about. I'm also halfway decent at listening to stuff (as I like to say, I do a halfway decent impression of a wall), so the conversation went smoothly enough. At some point about halfway through, this exchange happened: Him: "Man, I wish I didn't agonize about this stuff so much." Me: "Meh, it happens. We all have our quirks." Him: "Oh yeah? What's yours?" Me: "Haha. Take your pick. There's a bunch." Yup, we all have our lit...

Summer time in the new digs has been interesting. I grew up where temperature swings were pretty mild, so I've never really had to deal with actual seasons. I don't own a large number of shorts, nor do I have a winter coat. I basically have clothes that I wear all year round, and I stack/layer them as necessary. It works out fine most of the time, but I still don't think about these things reflexively. The Mild Fiancée, on the other hand, grew up where summer time temperatures would routinely reach triple digits. That sort of weather makes an impression on you, and it teaches you some habits. From what I understand, some days were spent doing as little as humanly possible to try to minimize any sweating or humidity loss. The pertinent part of this story, however, is that she dresses according to the seasons. Summer dresses are a thing for her. Well, I happened to get her a dress for her birthday. It was actually a bit of a failure on my part, because the brick and mort...

So, I attended a wedding for some family recently. Unfortunately, the Mild Fiancée was out of town for a previous engagement, so she couldn't make it. Luckily for me, I was at a table with my siblings, cousins, and family friends. Basically, people I've known for a while and around whom I am very comfortable.  Better yet, these are also folks who are around the same age. So, to recap: similar age, very comfortable around each other, happy occasion, gathered to celebrate. I knew it was going to be an interesting night based on the beverages alone. For starters, there was a bottle of soda at every table, and this is how someone at our table decided that they were going to drink said soda: That's Coca Cola in a tea cup. Yup, table 6 was fancy like that Yes, rather than use a glass, or find a glass, the solution was to use a tea cup. Note the unused wine glass sitting next to the open soda bottle. Now I'm not sure that I would've used the wine glass for soda, eit...

This year, for my birthday, the Mild Fiancée got me an honest-to-God CrossFit class at a local gym. For all that I've done CrossFit-like work outs all these years, I've never actually made it out to one of the local boxes. And since the Mild Fiancée knows that I enjoy this activity, she worked it out so that I could give it a shot. That's when the fun began. First of all, it was supposed to be a surprise. Remember, I have friends who own a CrossFit gym, so this seemed like a pretty good way to make this happen. She emailed back and forth with them secretly, so as to surprise me. However, an unrelated scheduling quirk inadvertently tipped me off. We needed to reschedule a dance class, and the lady offered up a Saturday morning. I checked our calendar and noted that we didn't have anything planned at that time, but the Mild Fiancée immediately replied that we couldn't make that morning. Apparently she noticed the actual arching of my eye brows at that point. When we...

Do you remember when I learned to crochet a baby beanie ? I was happy to pick up a new skill, but it almost felt like a parlor trick. I mean, it's not like I was going to start making beanies left and right. Right? Heck, I even finished that blog post with a joking recommendation for people I know to have more babies precisely because I figured it was a one-off type occurrence. Well, the universe has a quirky sense of humor. As it turns out, I now have FOUR close friends and family who are all pregnant. What's more, they are all due around the same time. What are the odds? I can understand four such people being pregnant at the same time, or even being pregnant in the same year (I'm at that age). But four people all due within a month or so of each other? What are the odds? One of those people just so happens to be my sister. She is the first of us siblings to have a kid, so it's an extra special big deal. It wasn't a matter of whether I was going to make her ki...

When the Mild Fiancée and I moved in together, we started buying groceries together. Sure, that sounds like an obvious statement, but it has led to some very interesting consequences. To quote one of my all-time favorite stories ("The Quiet Man" by Maurice Walsh), that one small statement "holds the risk of tragedy, the chance of happiness, the probability of endurance - choices wide as the world." One of the interesting parts of this was figuring out where we found value. For example, did we want the name-brand mouth wash or was a generic version of this okay? Did we want to opt in to a community supported agriculture (CSA) outfit or did we want to buy our own groceries week to week? For that matter, where did we want to buy said groceries? Did Safeway have a better deal on chicken or did Costco? Decisions, decisions. We did eventually start to make decisions and settle into a pattern, so things started to make sense. However, that's not to say that we did...

So, I recently got engaged . We're both pretty happy about this turn of events, but this now means that we have to plan a Mild Wedding. I think we've both heard a lot of the advice from people (it goes by very quickly, enjoy the day, don't worry so much about details, people will always find something to complain about), but the planning process has already yielded some laughs. We have a rough idea of what we're after, so that helps. Still, we only got engaged recently, so we're just starting our search. We've yet to nail down the major details. So, I'm going to keep those details close to the vest in case any of them have to change. I wouldn't want to promise red napkins only to be forced to put blue napkins on a table because of a logistics problem, you know? However, the one piece of information that I will divulge is one of the funniest bits. Somehow or other, I convinced the Mild Fiancée that I am allowed to put one song on the DJ's play...

I've mentioned before that things get interesting when it comes to late night dreams and work at 3AM . Like I joked about in those posts, 3AM Sam is all sorts of interesting. Well, this isn't a post about 3AM Sam being a jerk, but I have one more example of things getting all sorts of goofy when I'm up late. I should also mention that the Mild Fiancée can usually tell when I'm tired. I tend to be up pretty early, so it's not exactly hard to guess that I'm going to feel tired earlier than most folks. She's also sharp enough to notice if my eyes start to droop, and that's kind of an obvious tell. However, she can also tell just from my mannerisms. Even if she was around a corner, or if we were talking over the phone, she could probably tell you if I was tired (or annoyed). I have my tells, apparently. So, it's not like I could sneak it past her that I was starting to feel sleepy even if I wanted to try. She'll notice. Ultimately, that means th...

The Mild Fiancée and I thoroughly enjoyed our time in New York, but all good things must come to an end. Ultimately, that meant we had to fly home. Oh, and what a day it would be. Now, I'm going to tell this story differently than I usually do (you'll see why in a little bit). So, I'll start with what the intended plan was. We wanted to have dinner at one of our favorite restaurants and have a nice evening at home. Also, I wanted to propose to the then-Mild Girlfriend somewhere in the course of all that. I've been thinking about it for a little while, and it seemed like a good time. Alas, the best laid schemes of mice and men go often askew . Somehow, we managed to have the screwiest day of travel on precisely the day we were planning on coming back. First of all, we got waved through to the priority part of the security check, for no apparent reason. I was actually concerned that we were going to get patted down, but it was actually the opposite. They let us waltz ...

So, this particular post is going to involve a little bit of backstory. First of all, the Mild Fiancée speaks some Spanish. It wasn't her native language, but she's been around it enough where she's picked up some of it. Heck, at one point, she was fluent enough to converse with some of her students' parents. Now, the fun part of this tidbit is that Spanish comes in regional flavors ( here's a goofy video sort of explaining the differences ). If this confuses you, think about how English sounds different depending on the person speaking it. If you've been speaking English for any substantial amount of time, you can tell when someone from the UK is speaking English. If you're from the US, you can immediately spot a southern drawl or a Boston accent. It's not just that people use different words, they just sound different in some accents. Well, the same is true for Spanish. The reason that this tidbit is relevant is that the Mild Fiancée grew up aroun...

I've always had some interesting luck with cats. I don't know what it is, or why cats react to me the way they do. Still, the facts are the facts. They like to mess with me. If you don't believe me, allow me to convince you. First of all, there were  the incidents with my sister's kitten a few years ago. In case you don't feel like clicking, my sister's kitten first pounced on me in my sleep. It's not like I was playing or dangling something in front of her, since I was asleep. No, she just decided that I was a good target when I was asleep. Then, she got used to me and curled up in my lap to sleep in the middle of the day. I felt bad, so I didn't really move too much. Long story short, a little baby kitten trapped me on a couch for an afternoon. Secondly, the Mild Fiancée's (yes, there is now a mild fiancée, but that's a story for another day) family has a cat. From what I understand, that cat has always been a bit odd. When the family adop...

If you've been following any of my posts lately, there's a good chance you've heard me talk about cooking more often lately. Not surprisingly, my real-life conversations involve the same topic (I'm nothing if not consistent). The part that I especially like to point out is that I like plating the food, usually with the joke that "I get to play with the food." In some ways, this is a bit of a departure for me. I haven't traditionally spent tons of time in the kitchen, so it's not like I've had tons of opportunity to realize that I enjoy this. So, in some ways, it amuses people because it is new and different for me. Hell, I'm amused by all of this for the same basic reason. Now, by itself, that would all be just an amusing factoid. However, apparently I've mentioned that I like plating the food enough times that my siblings and their spouses all decided that my birthday gift should revolve around this. They got me precision tools in ord...